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The very first time : Swingers Discussion 216439
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TOPIC: The very first time
Created by: madacada The original post for this thread was deleted.
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Love It! Expect to wake up the next morning not sure if what you did was over the line, not enough, something your partner was ready for.

Also be very prepared to discuss with your partner why she or he was or wasn't very comfortable with what happened. Without an open line of communication between all parties the morning after becomes very quit and uncomfortable.

My suggestion....find a couple that has been in the lifestyle and very comfortable with their relationship. Go out with them a couple of times dinner drinks, dance. Develop a friendship then move forward into the sex if so desired....at your pace.

Columbus OH
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I (male half) can identify with your feelings, macada. It's a pretty overwhelming experience, that first time. I'd had some experience in the LS before Mrs. Newbie and I got together, and found that the first encounter as a couple was slightly nerve-wracking. We aren't "hardcore" swingers, and have had a few fun play dates, but I'm starting to think that the best relationships in the LS (as in life in general) develop over time. I'll probably always be a bit nervous in the first encounter with a new couple, but thankfully Mrs. has embraced the whole thing with a lot of enthusiasm. And the sex between us after a play date is truly mind-blowing.

Guess I'd say that embracing conflicting feelings is pretty normal, as long as the fun outweighs the mental pressure. If you're both enjoying the LS, it's all good.

Tempe AZ
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Mad, you hit the nail directly on the head when you said "I guess you never know how you'll react to this sort of thing". No matter how much a couple has discussed the theory and their feelings, their reactions to getting hit with the reality can be surprising. Sounds like everyone is handling it well with plenty of honest communication. I suspect that you and your wife will do well in the LS. :-)


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The green monster of jealousy can bite everyone. It's our experience that jealousy crops up when two of the participants have good, maybe great, chemistry, and the other two aren't as connected. But in the end, it's just sex. Your spouse loves you physically and emotionally! However, the lifestyle is supposed to be fun, and if someone is not having fun, it's time to reevaluate whether swinging is going to work. Usually taking time to reflect and talk about what makes you jealous is enough to resolve the problem. I will say that even the most experienced couple we know (our mentors!) go through bouts of jealousy. In sure some couples never experience it, but they are rare. Hope this helps.

Westerville OH
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wow mad that is really exciting! But it doesn't sound like you were really intending to soft swap....I mean going off alone and all it sounds like most wanted a full swap....and that's what you got! The more I read here the more fun this all sounds....so after comparing notes and all, noone feels any pangs? That's my main concern...not for her but for me....I think she is much less prone to jealousy than I am...

Parsippany NJ
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Wouldn't that be refreshing?

San Antonio TX
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why can't you just say I'am interested or just say yes and leave the mind game out of it.......BS

Kingston TN
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I have it listed in my profile... I like men who know when to be a Prince and when to be a Pirate ;-)

Visalia CA
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Mad, thanks for posting your experience (and welcome). My female friends int eh swinging world and I agree that while there is such a thing as a nice gentleman, there is also the man who is TOO gentlemanly. Yes. It can get confusing. You don't want to be pushy, yet you want to really let the woman know you find her desirable, and yes, you want to be confident. A lot of us LIKE for the other guy to take a lead.

The more experience you have with this and other couples, the more you'll be able to "read" the come on.

Gina

San Antonio TX
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Where's that damn teleporter?! ;-)

Visalia CA
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TOPIC: The very first time