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The lifestyle and your relationship : Swingers Discussion 2070431011
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FORUMSGeneral DiscussionsGetting StartedThe lifestyle and your relationship
TOPIC: The lifestyle and your relationship
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LOL...2 weeks after I met and began dating my ex-hotwife...we had a 3some with her equally sexy blonde college roommate and it continued...2 weeks later we had a 4some with her roomie and one of her roomie's boyfriends. Then we had a 3some with another of her roomie's boyfriends. Then she wanted us to go pick up other couples, men and women in the college bars. It was quite a natural progression to swing with other people after we married..

Forsyth GA
 
 
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We were married 17 years before we entered LS. Both had thought about it but did not breach the subject with the other. Our sexual journey has never been static, so it was a natural progression. My retirement opened up some time and energy to consider it and we're both glad we did. Looking forward to new adventures and experiences.

Coeur D Alene ID
 
 
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We entered the LS after 20 yrs being married. So far we have enjoyed it and have found it rewarding, and the sex between us has surpassed anything imaginable. I (Mrs.) like events more so than house parties. I like to mingle with a bunch of people and know that if I don't click with any of them, so be it. I tend to be more outgoing, and feel kind of closed in at house parties, and if you don't click with anyone, you feel odd.

Shamokin PA
 
 
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Mrs MC and I have discovered that we truly enjoy parties. We've found that the dynamic to be fun and exciting."

Thats awesome! I am def not downing parties. Its not the parties that pisses me off, its usually the other females at the parties that piss me off hahaha. I am bored and tired of getting ready to go to a vanilla club and thinking how to look good...and getting ready for a ls party and thinking oh shit, i need to tone it down or they will say that I am vain and think I am all that. I am tired of the element of competition and nastiness that the sexual element can bring. Maybe its me, I have never been girl friendly and so yeah, I can understand that this is part of the problem. I won't kiss a woman's ass just so she likes me. Sex is a beautiful thing. But when a woman has issues such as insecurity wowza, it brings in a nasty element. Even at the vanilla club, the couple I am convinced were swingers, she stomped off in such a tiff because I guess I was supposed to fucking know they were swingers? Sorry, didn't see the magic swingers ring. I have just grown bored of the politics of it I guess lol.

San Marcos TX
 
 
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"---My experiences have been much better with the women who were already in the LS as opposed to converting them...."

Ditto this. This is one of the reasons why I am VERY reluctant to introduce them to the LS. 9 times out of 10 they are not ready. So despite their insistance, I rarely grant them that wish.

Emeryville CA
 
 
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I'm finding this all very interesting. Every couple deals with their own search for experiences so differently, but that's what makes this lifestyle so much fun. As OUR experiences in the lifestyle have expanded, Mrs MC and I have discovered that we truly enjoy parties. We've found that the dynamic to be fun and exciting. As a couple, we always discuss any situation before we enter it, and have changed, modified, and adapted our rules and expectations according to each situation. When groups of people are involved, our only real rule is "no closed doors." Other than that, we feel comfortable with "free play." If I'm enjoying a conversation with a few people, and I look around and Mrs MC is nowhere in sight, I'm not concerned about it in the least. If she's off in another area conversing, that's no problem...and if she's found a playmate or four then all the better. When meeting a couple for a "date" there's that whole dynamic of "if all don't click, then none of us do." That's completely fair, and we abide by that unfailingly; but at a group event, depending on the rules of the others, we may be able to play with someone who's significant other doesn't necessarily click with our own. Whereas we won't set up a date with a couple where the female is straight, at a lifestyle event I may play with a woman who is straight...and she won't feel left out because there is neither a shortage of bi women nor interested men at the events we've attended. So far, at least, we've never failed to have a great time, and leave with new contacts and new friends.

Richmond VA
 
 
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Lost, It sounds like we are somewhat in a similar place. Liz and I rarely attend "events" and even more rarely have a good time. We have a small group of friends that we tend to have dinner, socialize, etc with and we're cool with it. Our most recent thought has been to host a small 4-5 couple party for people we know. The big group thing is just not sitting well.

Toledo OH
 
 
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Jay and I were married for about 15 years when we entered the ls. We have not been what I would call active for about 2 years. We went to a M&G last weekend for the first time in a long time due to my issues....but left upset. I think there are many wonderful people in the lifestyle and many we are honored to know. However, our vanilla friends make us feel loved and cared for. I leave time with them feeling positive and good. I leave lifestyle events feeling like I need to apologize for looking like I do and wondering who the fuck would want to spend time with such people. After last week it will be awhile before we will be back in another ls function lol. We have people we will have dinner with and look forward to it...but seeing them en masse, no thanks I'll pass LOL.

San Marcos TX
 
 
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As a single guy, I have dated outside the LS and brought some women over to the dark side and also met single women on this site. My experiences have been much better with the women who were already in the LS as opposed to converting them. I truly believe women (and guys for that matter) who are in the LS are more open and honest about their sexuality and more willing to communicate openly about what they want and need.

Poland OH
 
 
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My wife and I found each other outside of the LS. Neither of us was a card-carrying swinger up to that point in our lives, although an argument could be made with all the random sex we had before we hooked up we may as well have been playing in the minor leagues, but we were both curious as to how it could be. We honeymooned at Hedo (jump right into the deep end, eh!) and the rest is history.

My question was based more on whether or not single people in the lifestyle seek out others like themselves or if it just happens to work itself into the relationship later. I read a lot of profiles that seem to imply the "choice" to do this rests with one or the other and it's not a mutual decision...ie, when a couple say's "we want to spice things up" does that really mean, "I'm tired of doing you and want to do someone else"?

And thanks for the welcome to the Forum. I hope I can be a useful member. (See what I did there? ;) )

Long Beach CA
 
 
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TOPIC: The lifestyle and your relationship