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The Art of Flirting : Swingers Discussion 211168
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TOPIC: The Art of Flirting
Created by: twonluv69
Original Starting post for this thread:
The two of us grew up very shy and although we have a good rapport with one another individually we are oblivious to people flirting with us. Unfortunately, for personal reasons (careers & family) we can no longer attend lifestyle events but would love to go some place where we can practice a little harmless flirting and maybe (a BIG maybe) folks will flirt with us as well. So I guess our question is this "how do we get better at flirting?"

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I am sooo much better flirting online than in person.

In my younger days, I was a professional actor, so I have NO problems talking in front of a huge crowd. But one-on-one.....oh crap! I totally freeze up and either babble or don't say anything.

But when hubby and I meet up with another couple...I try my best to converse and flirt and interact with the other male and usually I get a stone face in return.

Lahaina HI
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I am quite experienced at online interactions. Even with those though; what I find enjoyable or comfortable has always stuck out as a little different than others.

I like banter and deep discussions over the more conventional flirting. I tend to make it difficult for people to flirt lightly with me, I am sure. Just something to work on.

Denham Springs LA
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TT, that's true, but some people find it difficult to flirt on-line. Face-to-face I'm not bad, but I feel really clumsy here for some reason.

Sheboygan Falls WI
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Hang around the forums. There is no shortage of people to help you practice flirting.

Syracuse NY
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People were very friendly and a few talked to us just to welcome us. My husband is a social person and went around finding couples on their own to say hello to them. I can socialise but when it kicks over from just mundane stuff, I am not sure what to say.

I literally have no idea how to respond to people complimenting how I look and opening deeper conversation with such lines. Not a lot of experience with that. I just felt very awkward there; not their faults but my inability to feel natural with return comments that opened smooth interaction.

Denham Springs LA
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newtothescene, as you may have discovered elsewhere in the Forums, sometimes people who are new to swinging and/or new to organized parties find a mentor or temporary "sponsor" who agrees to introduce them to people they know. It helps people who are unsure of themselves to feel more comfortable, knowing they have been accepted in some small way by the mentor couple, at least, and that they are not alone. You can either ask the party organizer ahead of time to hook you up with someone like that, or if you meet someone who says they are regulars, you can ask them to introduce you to their friends.

I've read that sometimes couples find mentors who take them through their first swinging experiences, answering questions along the way and maybe even being the first couple they play with. It wouldn't be for me, but might be for you.

Sheboygan Falls WI
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We made our first club attendance. It was an experience worth having.

I am not a club kind of person so the chaos was a little overwhelming to me but it was very interesting. I did feel very awkward with some of the flirting and approaches; I wasn't sure how to respond so I know I came off seeming nervous and unsure, I think; maybe even uptight.

However that coupled with a long skirt actually received attention. It was a good experience but I hope to feel more natural in response to things in future.

Denham Springs LA
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We agree with Sexus- additionally, our flirting with each other openly at club and hotel parties is lots of fun, helps us relax and be in the moment, and has sometimes attracted couples that were scoping us out.

People see the real you (plural) - happy, very connected in your relationship, and sending positive sexy signals you are there to have fun ;-)

Bensalem PA
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May I add that if you'd like to try flirting, start w/ your husband? Some of our most fun times at clubs have been when we flirted and danced and talked to each other first. No harm, no foul. That is the person you're there to have fun with, so why not flirt w/ each other? Kiss, rub your hand up his leg...etc.

It definitely will get you in the mood to relax and enjoy, and it is also very attractive to other couples to see a solid couple playing around with each other.

If "nothing" happens at a meet or party, etc., we still go home with the best person in our lives: each other.

San Antonio TX
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I do appreciate tips and shared experiences; even if we ultimately decide they don't work for us. They give us things to consider.

I guess it does seem like we may be curbing a natural flow to say no to first meet playing but we would rather take it slow, savor the excitement of anticipation instead of walking away and wondering why in the hell we did that.

Not every experience will be a great one and you deal with the ones that aren't but is it worth doing if the chances are it will be a negative one? We just hope that slow with some caution is fun to build up for us, honest to those around us and gives everyone the chance to step away if it's not good.

Denham Springs LA
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TOPIC: The Art of Flirting