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Starting Our Journey : Swingers Discussion 182275
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FORUMSGeneral DiscussionsGetting StartedStarting Our Journey
TOPIC: Starting Our Journey
Created by: monkeypaw2u
Original Starting post for this thread:
My wife and I are excited about what this opportunity might hold, but are also a little apprehensive of the unknowns like; proper etiquette, comfort levels of both us and others, etc.

We definitely want to get to know another couple before making the leap into the bedroom, we know that much.

What is the best way to explore this lifestyle without tripping over ourselves and making a promising relationship with another couple awkward.

Thanks for the feedback.

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Always communicate and don't be pressured in to anything you don't want to do. Be true to yourself and your beliefs and you'll do just fine!

Murfreesboro TN
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Lots of good advice. We would add beyond communication and know what you are really looking for, have clear expectations. While it is nice to meet nice couples and some great friendships can be built, the truth is that the sls community is about getting together for guiltfree casual sex. People you will meet can be patient and you should never be rushed but in the end we are all here to see about meeting people with whom we would like to play. At the end of the day, what makes the "lifestyle" so great is that it is liberating. You can now be honest with yourself that it is fun to have casual sex. It is hot to see your spouse with someone else and this can open a whole new chapter of communications. So relax, be honest and most of all have fun.

Forest Hills NY
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Lots of good ideas on the "Rules" thread in this discussion group.

Charlotte NC
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The swing lifestyle is a great big tent and everyone has their own mental image of an ideal experience. The toughest part is finding people whose ideal experience is similar to yours.

Figure out what interests you and work through specific comfort levels and boundaries with your parter BEFORE trying to actually play with others.

It's okay to be newbies and ask questions. Expect some rejection and a few speedbumps along the journey. Move at your own pace and don't let anyone push you to anything you aren't enthusiastic about. One of our goals in this is to never say "I wish I hadn't..." about anything.

D (she)

Tucson AZ
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Zack&Katie have a great point about the host couple.

When we first joined we were feeling our way along for a while. Meeting a few people but nothing great happening.

One of the last couples we met right before our membership was going to expire changed everything for us. They are great people and introduced us to alot of other couples. They opened alot of doors for us and we became lifetime members. They showed us around the local club (TPA) and completely changed our journey.

I guess we are just lucky but I would bet there is at least one or two couples in your area that could help your journey along.

btw Thanks to J&M

Middletown DE
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The biggest thing you will hear over and over again is COMMUNICATION! Talk! With your partner, prospective couples, other swingers, etc! Find some casual meet and greet events in your area and FIND THE HOST COUPLE! Tell them you are newbies, and they will take you under their wing. Talk to them, too. Ask them all the questions you've been dying to have answers to.

Other than that, take it slow. Don't be in a rush to hook up; go on platonic dates with a few swinging couples, get comfortable.

Finally, make sure you have set some ground rules and stick to them. One good rule is that if you are both not interested, its ALWAYS a 'pass'. You don't want your partner resenting you because you were totally into a couple, but they weren't, and you ended up sleeping with them anyway.

Take Care, and good luck!

Baltimore MD
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My wife and I are excited about what this opportunity might hold, but are also a little apprehensive of the unknowns like; proper etiquette, comfort levels of both us and others, etc.

We definitely want to get to know another couple before making the leap into the bedroom, we know that much.

What is the best way to explore this lifestyle without tripping over ourselves and making a promising relationship with another couple awkward.

Thanks for the feedback.

Salem OR
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(1 post)
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TOPIC: Starting Our Journey