Started, Stopped, Starting Again Maybe: Swingers Discussion 209741101

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TOPIC: Started, Stopped, Starting Again Maybe

Created by: SRS_Swap Original Starting post for this thread:
My wife and I agreed to go ahead and start contacting another couple. Contacted, set a tentative meet for a couple weeks out, and then my wife kind of freaked out and pulled the plug. That was fine with me because this is something she has to be 100% comfortable with. So now, a month later, she still says she's into it, and would completely go for it and knows we would love it, but is worried about trust issues (her job would frown upon extra-curricular activities like swinging) and she is afraid it will bring drama. Long story short, we both REALLY want to, but what is the best way to insulate ourselves from drama and ensure we can trust any couples we ultimately play with? Thanks for any and all replies.

Created by: SRS_Swap
Original Starting post for this thread:

My wife and I agreed to go ahead and start contacting another couple.  Contacted, set a tentative meet for a couple weeks out, and then my wife kind of freaked out and pulled the plug.  That was fine with me because this is something she has to be 100% comfortable with.  So now, a month later, she still says she's into it, and would completely go for it and knows we would love it, but is worried about trust issues (her job would frown upon extra-curricular activities like swinging) and she is afraid it will bring drama.  

Long story short, we both REALLY want to, but what is the best way to insulate ourselves from drama and ensure we can trust any couples we ultimately play with?  Thanks for any and all replies.

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User Details are only visible to members.	If you have worries about running into co-workers then play out of town. Also, you might take a step back from trying to swap and just try to go to an event. You both like to dance, drink, and converse with other couples? Have your rules and you both do your best to adhere to them. We broke most of ours initially, but worked through the issues. Now we have just a few easy guidelines, lots of trust, and a whole lot of fun.
Oklahoma City OK			Username hidden (214 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I'd suggest that you pay attention to your instincts (not your fears) when choosing who to meet and/or play with. If something just doesn't smell right, it probably isn't right. We don't have any issues about not playing locally, as we figure that others value discretion as much as we do and have just as much to lose by outing another swinging couple. If they out us, they out themselves too. LOL
Fairview Heights IL			Username hidden (634 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	"Long story short, we both REALLY want to, but what is the best way to insulate ourselves from drama and ensure we can trust any couples we ultimately play with?" I worry about this a lot, and I don't believe there is any way to insulate ourselves to ensure anything. Choosing playmates wisely is important, but who knows if we were wise enough until it may be too late. The only thing I cannot do, is play locally. Even clubs, M&G's ...never near home. And that sucks too. Read through the forums a bit. There's alot of things that are best to avoid that we really don't know yet when just starting out. Best of luck to you!!
Kunkletown PA			Username hidden (2981 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Don't worry too much about it. In15years we've run into exactly one acquaintance at a party - and they ran into us, too! All of us valued discretion, so we all were discreet. Relax and enjoy! Jim
South Riding VA			Username hidden (8158 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Welcome to the forums. First you meet a couple, and decide if they are worth your time, energy, and trust. Then you decide whether you are going to play. Many folks here make it clear in advance that they are NOT playing on a first date. This may relieve some of the anxiety and the pressure. You're just meeting for a drink, or dinner, or whatever. With just the possibility of playing. There's plenty of excitement and fun in just talking, and you likely would find yourselves flirting. And another reason to not expect to swing: You will likely often be disappointed in the real meeting, if you get your hopes up.
Flat Rock NC			Username hidden (2826 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	My wife and I agreed to go ahead and start contacting another couple. Contacted, set a tentative meet for a couple weeks out, and then my wife kind of freaked out and pulled the plug. That was fine with me because this is something she has to be 100% comfortable with. So now, a month later, she still says she's into it, and would completely go for it and knows we would love it, but is worried about trust issues (her job would frown upon extra-curricular activities like swinging) and she is afraid it will bring drama. Long story short, we both REALLY want to, but what is the best way to insulate ourselves from drama and ensure we can trust any couples we ultimately play with? Thanks for any and all replies.
Nashville TN			Username hidden (1 post)

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TOPIC: Started, Stopped, Starting Again Maybe

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