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Sooo close : Swingers Discussion 362291011
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Well... we're on the other side of that coin. M-He met a fella,"B", when he started working with the same construction outfit. M-He was really impressed with his attitude and personality. M-He does not impress easily and took the chance on getting to know him at work before inviting him over to our house to meet the rest of the family.Over the past several months we've been getting to know him, forming a "regular" friendship. (Our kids think he's the "cat's meow.") Alll we were looking forward to was having someone to hang out with.

We have a rule: No co-workers. Having that rule in place, I(M-She) did not have hope for anything other than a good friendship.

Once we got to know his personality, mental status, etc, (after several months) we let him in on our little secret. We knew before we told him what our secret was that he wouldn't freak out, tell it from the rooftops, etc. We did not extend him an invitation, it was just something we thought he should know in case he ever saw us "out on the town" and got to wondering. It's been SEVERAL months since we told him, and in that several months, our friendship-relationship with this man has gotten quite comfortable.

Mind you now, this man is/WAS a "virgin" as far as this lifestyle goes.

Before approaching "B", we discussed the possibility of bending our rule because he really is a neat person. M-He and I had lots of late night discussions about the possibilities but wanted to keep him as a friend, so didn't bother expressing our(my) interest in "B".

Well, we decided to go out at the last minute this last Saturday night and invited "B" to go with us, just because we enjoy his company. We had no expectations, actually, no idea ANYTHING would happen. I let M-He take the lead approaching "B" ( letting him know that I wasn't kidding when I said the cologne he was wearing made me light-headed...lol) It was all downhill from there.

Friendship, true friendship, CAN be a lot more fun than anyone expects.

If you're getting vibes like that from them, especially her, sit them down, reaffirm your REAL friendship with them, tell them what you're feeling, then ask them! If they say you must have read the situation wrong, leave it at that.

If they don't, then you just might be on the right track.

It is possible to have this type of discussion and still remain friends if they're not interested in "that" way, it's all depends on your approach.

I hope I helped. M-She

Hattiesburg MS
 
 
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I was sort of waiting to see what other people say, too! But here are my initial thoughts.

Some rhetorical questions for you- How well do you know them? How long have you known them? How much do you trust them?

I would think that if this is a couple you feel you know very well and trust with your business, a good way to broach the subject might be to mention YOUR interest in the lifestyle, without mentioning anything they may have intimated in that evening. This way, you're letting them know you're open to it without actually asking to be involved with them. If they're interested and you open that door, it would be up to them to give you a cue about their interest.

(If discretion is important to you, and they AREN'T a couple you can trust to divulge your swinging interests to, then I would think you might not want to play with them, anyway. Just a thought that popped into mind as I typed the above.)

Another thing to think about is if you think swinging with them might negatively affect a good platonic relationship. My best friends know about our swinging, and have even expressed some curiousity about exploring it themselves, but we're all pretty clear that we're NOT going to introduce sex into our friendships. We've been too close in other ways for too long and we don't want the chance of it making things weird between us to interfere with our friendships.

Food for thought- but I'm also curious about other people's opinions!

L.

Ithaca NY
 
 
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Well, 3 days have gone by and nobody has attempted to help this poor guy solve his dilemma. Doesn't anybody have a good idea for him? This is a situation I've never encountered, so I really can't be of much help.

South Riding VA
 
 
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I was recently in a situation that raised my eyebrows a bit. I'm interested in the lifestyle, being a young single guy unfortunately I dont get much "respect." I'm not into the whole idea for simply having sex with someones wife to get my rocks off then leave and chalk it up on my bedpost at home. I thoroughly enjoy sexual escapades and am very open minded. but back to my point. I was recently in a situation where i was hanging out at my friends home after we had gone to the bar. My friends are married and seem quite happy and secure with their relationship. They have no clue that I'm interested in the swinging lifestyle. Well it seems that the female portion of this married couple is interested in me and the husband doesnt seem to mind in the least. Well that night after the bar. many "hints" were tossed in my direction :she " I'm still young and want to experience some things" he, " I agree we should experience as much as we can" subtle flirting from her was going all night. And many times she approached me to say something then backed off mumbling somthing like "no nothing no biggy". My question is do i breech this line of quietness and outright say "hell yes I would love o help you experience whatever you want to experience". I'm worried because nothing was actually said outright just general vagueness(sp) and some tension. I dont want have misjudged this and embarrassed everyone involved especially me if it is not what they had meant. Or should i just let it play its course? (im afraid there that they might not work up the courage to ask even though I would readily agree)

I've got one hell of a dilemma on my hands...

Phoenix AZ
 
 
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