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Saying No : Swingers Discussion 200749
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TOPIC: Saying No
Created by: Soul_Mates_42
Original Starting post for this thread:
I have a question as to how people typically handle this. I know the rule "no means no" is pretty well known and accepted. What I was wondering is how you handle situations where you have made contact with someone or met one half of a couple and there is interest only to meet the other half and suddenly think....ummm no! Not gonna happen! Or what about those situations where you or your partner is all into it and thinks everything is a go only to have one of you to say no. How do you tell the other couple and how do you explain the sudden change if heart. We are very new to this and are soooo concerned about hurting people's feelings. I find it hard to believe that people in the swinging community just "take one for the team" on a regular basis. I just want to make sure we are following proper etiquette so we can hopefully avoid those hurt feelings. Thanks in advance for your help!

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As far as the unbalanced attraction between the two of us is handled fairly easily. I say you do this for me and you sleep in as long as you want without the kids! Works like a charm! Lol In the real world if we don't all agree then we just say nice meeting you, thanks for showing up.

Aloha OR
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Sweet we do the same thing. We always cover what we consider to be "the deal breakers". If we are good on those, we can spend a little time chatting by phone to get a feel for personality. If everyone is still interested, we'll plan to meet. As long as everyone has been honest with their pics, we're already fairly certain we are a good match before we even meet.

Obviously, nothing is set until we actually see how we all interact with each other, but this method has led to a very high success rate for us when meeting couple to couple.

Orlando FL
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Welcome to the forums soul mates.

It's not always easy, but k and I have little clues we communicate to each other when one of us determines there is a problem. If you've gotten ahead of yourself, you can always back up and let the couple know you'd like a little time to talk and get back with them about a second meet.

No mater how you go about it, there's going to be a risk of offending the other couple as they may see through your plan, but if they get rude or ugly about it, consider yourselves lucky to have seen that side of them, before you played with them.

Of course, you can always get that surprise text that requires you both to step outside and make a phone call. And this always works better if the other couple can't actually see you make that mad dash for the car. LOL

P.S. We're actually Brevard County neighbors. ;-)

Orlando FL
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I have a question as to how people typically handle this. I know the rule "no means no" is pretty well known and accepted. What I was wondering is how you handle situations where you have made contact with someone or met one half of a couple and there is interest only to meet the other half and suddenly think....ummm no! Not gonna happen! Or what about those situations where you or your partner is all into it and thinks everything is a go only to have one of you to say no. How do you tell the other couple and how do you explain the sudden change if heart. We are very new to this and are soooo concerned about hurting people's feelings. I find it hard to believe that people in the swinging community just "take one for the team" on a regular basis. I just want to make sure we are following proper etiquette so we can hopefully avoid those hurt feelings. Thanks in advance for your help!

Palm Bay FL
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TOPIC: Saying No