165
Rudeness : Swingers Discussion 2013991051
Busy Swingers Forum - everything you always wanted to know about swingers.
SwingLifeStyle Swingers Personal Ads. | SwingLifeStyle Swingers Clubs

Busy Swingers Forum

Everything you always wanted to know about swingers.

Create A Free Account

HELP
FORUMSGeneral DiscussionsGetting StartedRudeness
TOPIC: Rudeness
GoTo Page: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 ... More 
Start   51 to 60 of 90   End
User Details are only visible to members.
i dont get it. The spouse who feels they have the moral authority in the relationship tends to feel they have the right to control the sexuality of both. Whether or not that is right, its up to the couple. I can tell you, the 60% divorce rate says its not okay to most I think.


Username hidden
(23991 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
I imagine it can be frustrating

My wife and I have radically different sex drives. This also applies to the swinging. I dont push the issue but it does bug me.

She will completely on her own be all about it, bring it up, do something on her own, suggest we find someone to play with.

Then.....She loses interest for a long time. Again, I dont push. But it does bother me.

We;ll come on here, return a bunch of emails, get chat going with a bunch of people. Then just disappear for a while.

Me...I find that frustrating and rude. Whereas we never flake, or will never back out when we make plans. There is a good chance that if we email you back, unless we happen to make plans during that conversation, it will be a month before you get another reply.

She...Just doesnt think twice about it. Its not a priority, so she concentrates on other things in life and then comes back to it.

If it we're up to me. Id be doing this full steam ahead. I love it, Im overly sexual and cant get enough.

When we do it, she loves it. She loves the attention, and has a great time. When she wants to do it SHE REALLY WANTS TO DO IT!!!!!

So I get excited.....But the next day its like a switch turns off and she couldnt give it a second thought.

Meanwhile Im thinking "We just sent 25 email replies back to people you were drooling over last night, that are emailing us back......shouldnt we go back on tonight?"

Sorry. Id dont even know if that was on topic. Just had to vent a bit. Looking at 71 new emails flashing in the corner and wondering when she will be in the mood for us to check them.

Mount Juliet TN
Username hidden
(663 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
"i'd be getting it somewhere else." i think most would, but that isn't the point. as i said earlier, it might be different if we lived in a world were there were no alternatives to deal with this situation.

your spouse may not care for the alternatives, but there is no reason to be doing anything behind their backs.

Port Canaveral FL
Username hidden
(5334 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
My aunt is a complete control freak, and apparently does not like sex. She admitted that during the last decade of her marriage she decided that they did not need to have sex anymore. What blows my mind is the fact that someone does that, or knows their partner is not happy sexually...and just expect that person to suck it up and accept that this is how it is. And even more blowing my mind away, expecting the other person to still remain monogamous. She was pissed that he ended up leaving the marriage, and was baffled when he told her that if he wanted a life of celibacy he would have entered the priesthood. Now he happily fucks his current wife and she works with the church. Could I be with someone that cuts sex off completely? Not in a monogamous situation, most definately not.


Username hidden
(23991 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
If I werent getting it at home, Id be getting it somewhere else myself.

Mount Juliet TN
Username hidden
(663 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
"Part of her problem is medical but she won't seek help for it. "

This is a good point, PART of it is medical. I understand some people have medical issues that make sex difficult or uncomfortable but your own statement of it being "part" of the problem is really the crux of the issues. In a happy, stable relationship no one would be denied sex for 12 years. My point? The problem lies as much or more on an emotional level and that is worth investigating. The time you are spending "looking" to replace your sexual desires could be better spend making your wife desire you. A mistaken impression that many have is that "cheating" for purely sexual reasons hurts no one when in fact it will affect every aspect of your life, your time and your integrity. Do not kid yourself into thinking she will never know, there is always a trail of evidence, hints and clues. The first time you come home with a bounce in your step grinning ear to ear will not go unnoticed. Your excuses for where you were or where you are going will be noticed. Any change in your behavior will not be overlooked. She many not confront you but trust me she will figure it out at some point. Take the time to bare your soul with her, express your love for her, make her feel special and desirable. Once having done that you can step back and re evaluate the future . I also do not recommend you mention "you may fill your needs elsewhere" just yet. Focus on fixing the issue first before you make threats. The number one reason women refuse sex is not medical it is emotional ;it is feeling undesirable, unloved, unappreciated or lacking in trust and /or respect for their partner. Dedicate yourself to finding the issue and fixing it before looking for an easy solution that may fill your sexual needs but destroy you both. Imagine for a moment coming home from your play session and looking her in the eye the second you walk in............any normal person will not be making eye contact, worry if they look guilty, smell guilty or are acting guilty. This will be your life from that moment forward......always hiding, worrying and wondering if she knows or if she will find out. Sure you'll get over that the more you play and not get caught but be sure you can live with the consequences of your actions when she does find out.

Mrs Sav

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
Username hidden
(5501 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
cajun, for what it's worth, i do respect the fact that you are man enough to take all that has been tossed your way here, and rather than shutting down, you've made the decision to rethink your situation.

i hope you're able to find a solution that is good and fair for both you and your wife.

Port Canaveral FL
Username hidden
(5334 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
We have talked. Twenty nine years of bliss then twelve years of this. Part of her problem is medical but she won't seek help for it. However, the last few statements have given me some things to consider that I had not before. Thanks for the thoughts and I may be doing some serious reconsideration. Bottom line time. Boy did this take a turn I wasn't looking at huh???? LOL.

Sulphur LA
Username hidden
(4 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
apologies for cheaters? haha. bless his heart.

nice.

Port Canaveral FL
Username hidden
(5334 posts)
User Details are only visible to members.
you let it go on for 12 years? you need to be talking to her instead of us. and end it if you both cant come to some agreement. speaking from experiance, being cheated on sucks. do you really want to hurt your wife like that? and she WILL find out.

Philadelphia PA
Username hidden
(2118 posts)
GoTo Page: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 ... More 
Start   51 to 60 of 90   End
TOPIC: Rudeness