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TOPIC: Question(s) about same room
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Flirt, we feel exactly as you do regarding separate room play after bring in the LS for over 5 years. We tried same room, we tried the no connection, one night stands, and learned that it just wasn't fun for us. For a long time, we thought we had to "learn" to enjoy same room play to be "successful" in the LS. We finally came to the conclusion that if it isn't fun for us, why do it? we just enjoy it much more playing in separate rooms, and making strong connections and long term friendships. So, as you can see, between us and Mrs Sav, there are two very different views... Neither of which is wrong! So if you decide to give same room a try after reading the advice in answer to your OP, do it because you really want to experiment, not because you think you have to or because others expect you to! (and coming from a straight woman, I did have a not so pleasant experience while playing same room because the other couple thought they could "fix" me! :)

Apollo PA
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."and honestly, being that close to another dude with his wang out, kinda creeps me the fuck out. "

10 points for honesty lol. To each their own but I do not desire the intimacy some find in by being in separate rooms. I not into bonding or connecting on much more than a sexual level. I don't want it to feel romantic or too personal on an emotional level. I don't require or even desire a personal type relationship with most playmates. It pure raw lust in it's simplest form. If we become friends later great, if not thanks for a great time. As a matter of fact for us the more we know others sexually the less "fun" we seem to have with them sexually. If they move into friendships the sparks seem to die. We tend to hang out more and have far less sex with "repeat" playmates and it has never ever been as much fun as the first time. I guess I like surprises, I have a regular partner is Mr Sav and really do not want to know another mans complete preferences or style and be able to read his body like a book and anticipate his next move. Separate rooms would definitely feel wayyyy toooo personal for me . I can see where others might desire that and be uncomfortable otherwise but it will never be for us. We got an email not long ago about a couple wanting to go on vacation together and swap mates entirely for the weekend , we would never consider that option and really can't understand the desire to do so but at the same time respect others rights and desires to fulfill their wants, needs and desires and really make no other judgement other than to know it is not "right" for us. I don't think there are right or wrong ways to swing but their definitely is a right way or wrong way as it applies to "us".

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
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As far as holding back, I agree. It is absurd and defeats the purpose. And that is exactly why we play in separate rooms, lol. No need to hold back. And personal opinion, I think it is WAY hotter with a lot more intensity. I don't find the need for anyone "compete", no need to keep pace, no distractions, no one in your way....and honestly, being that close to another dude with his wang out, kinda creeps me the fuck out.


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Flirt,

"we feel like we have to hold back so everyone is on a more even level. In separate room, there is no holding back."

I have zero objection or opinion on your play style . If it works for you both , I'm happy for you. I stated I will not fake it as you mentioned your wife can and does. That Simply not my style. I also would never ever make a scene or call someone out if I was not having a good time. I would though, gracefully extract myself from any situation that was unpleasant or cause for concern on my part. I agree there can usually be fun found in any situation and not all encounters will come with fireworks . Your above comment states that you both feel the need to "hold back" during same room play. I frankly find that absurd and can not for the life of me fathom "holding" back if it seemed Mr Sav or Mrs Stranger was not having as much fun as I am. That seems a complete reversal of why we are in the lifestyle to start with. Our goal is to have fun. I am not going to pretend to have "less" fun than Mr Sav so we appear to all be on the same page or feel bad if he appears to be having too much fun. If a couple can not have fun in the same room as us that simply means we are not compatible and we'd never have met them in the first place. We do not expect anyone to modify their preferences to suit us nor do we modify ours. There are plenty of people to suit us and plenty we suit perfectly, we do not make concessions no matter how hot another couple is and frankly if any couple would willing change their desires as a couple to suit us I'd wonder what the hell was wrong with them. Chose wisely and chose carefully is our motto and so far we have yet to encounter any drama with anyone. There are no guarantees, at any time the sky could fall all one can do is to make sure you stay true to your desires and preferences and seek like minded partners.

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
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Mrs. Sav,

Your inclination that I do things I shouldn't behind close doors isn't quite fair. It's not that I do things I shouldn't or wouldn't do in front of her. It's that neither of us like to. I didn't get in this to do things I don't like or enjoy, nor will I ever. We don't have any limits or stupid rules so there really isn't anything we could do wrong.

I know though, for those who get off on watching their spouse it's hard to understand those of us who don't. We both want each other to have a good time and we talk about it later, we just don't need to see each other.

We try to figure people out and choose wisely, but if one night a guy has an issue or a wife is uncomfortable with something, there is no reason to call them out on it and make a big deal about it. That's just rude. I see no benefit to anyone on calling someone out on their issues.


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Sweet ,

We've been swinging going on 6 years and have really never had a bad experience for which I am grateful....we have people we won't see again but more because the sexual chemistry wasn't quite we thought it would . I do not excel at very many things , if I have one talent in this world it would be I am incredible judge of character. It has worked in our favor thru the years. I don't often make mistakes about people ; good or bad....although sometimes it takes awhile for others to see the "bad" in others I saw from the first lol. Tuning into ones inner voice is something many people chose to ignore but I believe what the "voices" tell me and they've steered me right so far.

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
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Our philosophy is that if we wouldn't do it in full view of our partner we surely shouldn't be doing it behind a closed door. I will not fake it for anyone, I will not down play it either. If our trust and or ego is not capable of dealing with reality whatever it might be I/He is feeling at the moment we have no business engaging in the lifestyle. For us the lifestyle is about US as a couple sharing something wonderful. It isn't just about my needs or his needs and surely not about the needs of others. We chose carefully, assure to the best of our ability we are all on the same page and thus far have avoided all drama.....between ourselves or as witness to others. Mr Sav is a very strong man and he celebrates my good time as I do his, after all it is why we're here.

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
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The person who finishes first makes drinks and sandwiches~~Just kidding...

Sanford NC
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See....that is what I am talking about. It seems so easy for someone to get pissy about something. Even someone who goes in completely fine, may get upset if all of a sudden their wife is making noises they have never heard before.

My wife is cool enough to fake it or if a "problem" arrises (or doesn't) to handle the situation lightly so it doesn't become as big of a deal, but as I have already seen, many aren't. I am the same. I'm happy with whatever little fun I have and if it isn't perfect, so what. I'm not going to call someone out or get up and leave them. I could count all the times I have had "perfect" sex on one hand.

Even though some people find themselves in a bad place sometimes, I really don't want to be the one putting them there. This is why my wife and I both agree, that when you are in the same room, we feel like we have to hold back so everyone is on a more even level. In separate room, there is no holding back.


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those are the kind of losers we avoid like the plague.

Tampa FL
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TOPIC: Question(s) about same room