Playing safe Not about sex! : Swingers Discussion 45016
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TOPIC: Playing safe Not about sex!
Created by: mischiefnyou
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I just found this thread, and knew before looking who wrote it (winking). Mischief, you are absolutely correct in playing safe. Prior to meeting the Jim, and prior before getting into the lifestyle, I always had someone knew exactly where I was, 911 programmed as a one hit number on my cell, had my sons call me every other hour (sounds extreme), etc., just dating other men. I for one have a very hard time trusting anyone, so being new back on the dating scene after 18 years, was very frightening to say the least. When I decided to get into swinging, I began as a single female looking to meet couples with bi females. As I know now how truly hard it is to meet a single female, being a couple, the few couples that I chose to communicate with didn't have the patience in me getting to know much about them prior to even setting up a meeting with them, as this was even newer territory for me and I was going to be more than cautious in picking out the couple for my first experience. It grew increasingly hard as the couples' patient levels got lost within a week of communication, probably assuming I was like a lot of the single fems that were fake. I met the Mr. before I ever pursued a couple that could live up to the trust level for me. I look at it this way, I am still here because I would rather be safe than sorry.

Johnstown PA
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“Jury finds woman, 41, Guilty in the body-in-the freezer killing” “An Ellicott City woman accused of luring a woman to her home for a 3-way sexual encounter, helping to kill her, and stuffing her body in the freezer was convicted of second-degree murder in Howard County Circuit Court.”

There is a risk in everything we do. Here are the steps I take to insure my safety. This is not just a women’s issue. Men, you could be charged with rape for merely showing up at a situation. In the BDSM world these steps are called Safe Calls. They have saved lives. I use them NO matter how much I trust the new person. It’s a matter of reflex.

-I leave a trail on my computer/phone. IM’s, e-mails, etc.

-I tell a close friend who will not hesitate to act if the protocol is broken.

-I give my friend the password to my cell phone’s voice mail.

-I arrange to call my friend at a certain time, usually 1 hour into the meeting.

-I arrange to recall my friend later. Multiple check points.

-They call me if I don’t call them. If I don’t answer they are to call my voice mail.

-I meet the person and excuse myself. I leave a voice mail message on my cell. It contains what they are wearing, driving if known, looks, etc.

-I met a man in a hotel. He was from Hotlanta. I had met he and his wife in a swing club.

-I found out his room number. I stopped on another floor and left the room number on my phone.

-I went with a guy to a hotel. While he was out for ice, I left his car license plate, room number, and description on my phone.

-If I get the safe call, and I’m under duress. I mention something RED. I was going to wear the RED dress, but it was spotted. They know the mention of RED is immediate danger.

-My husband has a copy of the printed directions...etc. I don’t use him for a safe call, because he’s rarely home when I’m out. The safe call person HAS to be reachable, decisive and convincing.

There was a woman out west. She went to a man’s home to do BDSM. Her lack of safe call, triggered his arrest as a serial killer and saved her life. I realize this applies more to singles, but there have been couples who were killed in this state. I suggest safe calls for all.

Safe Mischief

Glen Burnie MD
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TOPIC: Playing safe Not about sex!