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Out of the loop : Swingers Discussion 219456
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TOPIC: Out of the loop
Created by: WannaTry808
Original Starting post for this thread:
We live in a very small place and the pool of active swinging couples is even smaller.

We just found out last night that a couple we have known for almost the entire time we have been swinging have been having hotel/house parties...and we have never been invited to a single one.

No, we have never played with this other couple, but have seen and spoken to them at 2 M&G's they have thrown. We've always been friendly to each other, so to hear about all these parties was like...wow.

So silly! I guess swinging is an awful lot like high school, huh? Too bad. We stupidly thought swinging was for adults.

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That's too bad, Wailuku. I've been following your threads and you two seem awesome! And great posts, too.

For what it's worth, we went to our first house party a few weeks ago after being on SLS for about a year and a half. We're not the most "aggressive" types socially, and that's probably the reason it's taken a while. Hopefully, with our (great!) experience there, we've made a few "connections" for future invites. We were readily accepted into the mix with no "clique" type stuff, and had a blast. So I guess it can turn out well, and just depends on the folks involved.

Tempe AZ
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WannaTry808, I'm just sorry that you were busy on my last trip to the islands. I would've loved to have met you.

North Syracuse NY
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I guess it just hurt our feelings a little. We've been trying very hard to make friends in this LS here and it's been nearly impossible.

Yes, I know we need to "grow a thick skin" and "not care", but when you live in such a small place and thought you had made friends with people, it kinda sucks.

Oh well...moving forward! Newbie growing pains sure aren't fun.

*And do I care if the people are reading this? Not really. Our membership is almost over anyways. We haven't met a single person on here that's actually worked out.

Lahaina HI
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" But... I guess we were being childish to think anyone in this "lifestyle" could actually be honest and friendly."

I must be missing something here, I don't see how not being invited to a hotel party is dishonest. My take on this is that you've seen these people around and about and were always polite to each other but clearly had no sexual interest in them or they in you. You use the word "friends" but also say you met them at 2 M&G's they hosted. To me that sounds like acquaintances not friends. Personally I can see why you'd not be invited to a hotel party if it had already been established between the 4 of you that mutual sexual desire wasn't there. If I were throwing a smaller more intimate party I would also limit my list to those with whom I was personal friends with and felt some attraction for .Clearly these parties were by invite only for a smaller group with the intent of sexual play so I am confused as to why you feel you missed something? I don't want to be on anyones guest list because they felt they "had" to invite me because it's a small town nor would I want to be invited to a more private hotel party by folks I had no sexual interest in. I don't know, as I said I am missing something here but I do not find their behavior either childish or dishonest. for their own personal reasons they threw a party and didn't invite you . I am sorry if that hurts but think about how quickly a guest list can get out of control if you invited everyone you knew, met or felt obligated to invite. It happens all the time with weddings for instance. suddenly the mailman, your hairdresser and the bouncer at your favorite bar is added to the list so no one feels left out. The reality of life is that everyday we are left out of something and everyday we leave others out of something. We're not talking about close personal friends with whom you've had a history , you're talking about people who you've "met" in the lifestyle and exchanged pleasantries with. Having pangs of feeling bad is one thing to suddenly perceive them as dishonest or childish is another matter entirely. I sure hope that they or anyone else on that island is reading this, that would be rather awkward lol.

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
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Is it all a little childish? Yes, it is. No one likes to feel left out, especially when we had considered some of the people throwing and attending the parties to be friends. Maui is a really, really small place. But... I guess we were being childish to think anyone in this "lifestyle" could actually be honest and friendly.

This won't stop our quest to find a great couple to play with, but it just kind of bummed me out temporarily. We're not giving up yet, but we are changing our tactics.

PS - The "parties" were at hotels. The M&G's were at public places (with music so loud you had to literally scream at each other to talk).

We tried to have a party. No one committed to coming, so we cancelled it. Typical Maui people.

Lahaina HI
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throw your own and send them an invite.

San Antonio TX
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outdoorsWNC, it is my understanding that a M&G has no expectation of playing. Most of the ones I've been to have been in public places.

Parties, on the other hand, have some assumption that play may happen. They usually happen in clubs, hotels, homes, or some other private location.

North Syracuse NY
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I like you only if you like me ;) or wait a minute let me ask my friends if it is ok to like you

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
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Do you like me?

( ) Yes ( ) No

Belle Chasse LA
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What's the difference between a party and a M&G ?

Flat Rock NC
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TOPIC: Out of the loop