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New to the life style : Swingers Discussion 220385101
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TOPIC: New to the life style
Created by: RIVetCouple The original post for this thread was deleted.
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With you both being new to the lifestyle, the best way to approach things is whatever you both are most comfortable with. As pointed out, there are several possibilities. Some people find house parties way too fast for newcomers, but some don't. Some find clubs too noisy and crowded, while others love them. It's all about what works best for you both.


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Second the recommendation for the house party. Check the Groups section. There's the Bucket List over the border from you or Club Europa up on the Mass/NH border. At a house party you know people are going there to have sex. At a Meet & Greet tons of them are there just to watch the dirty dancing and sexy outfits and it's harder to arrange an impromptu fuck. Going to dinner, etc. is more of a crap shoot as you're not likely to play that night - you'll be "dating", getting to know the other couple, etc. Then maybe arrange for some play. You can also check out the local on-premises clubs (Choice & Playful Pleasures are local to you) where you can meet other couples and play right there. You'll find a few folks who will post "we can host any time" which is a good indicator that they're play people first and socializers second.

Westerly RI
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Second the recommendation for the house party. Check the Groups section. There's the Bucket List over the border from you or Club Europa up on the Mass/NH border. At a house party you know people are going there to have sex. At a Meet & Greet tons of them are there just to watch the dirty dancing and sexy outfits and it's harder to arrange an impromptu fuck. Going to dinner, etc. is more of a crap shoot as you're not likely to play that night - you'll be "dating", getting to know the other couple, etc. Then maybe arrange for some play. You can also check out the local on-premises clubs (Choice & Playful Pleasures are local to you) where you can meet other couples and play right there. You'll find a few folks who will post "we can host any time" which is a good indicator that they're play people first and socializers second.

Westerly RI
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Oh, and welcome to the Forums!!!!!

Jim

South Riding VA
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I don't think there is a pat answer to your question. Some people find a swingers club to be the easiest way to get started. Others are more comfortable with just meeting one couple. Others prefer attending a "meet and greet" where everyone is a swinger, but there is no pressure to play that evening, just to get acquainted with some people.

We liked to meet couples one at a time. After finding a couple whose ages and profiles made them sound compatible and whose pictures suggested we would both find them attractive, we'd make contact and arrange to meet for dinner at a restaurant. That did give us a good chance to get to know them and their personalities a little and to see if they actually resemble their pictures, or if the pictures are 20 years old.

We found, though, that the most common outcome was that one of us would be interested and the other would not. We probably met 5-6 couples for every one where we both felt like a "play date" would be nice. It's a lot of work and a lot of time and effort.

For us, private house parties turned out to be the best way to meet playmates. Even then we "mixed and matched," i.e., P played with whatever guy(s) she found attractive, and I did the same with whatever ladies appealed to me. We made no effort to wait until we found a COUPLE that we wanted to play with as a COUPLE. We just freelanced. Remember all those couples where only one of you was interested in playing? At house parties, you can enjoy them if you are both comfortable with freelancing. We used to call those people "party candy," because we could play with them at a party but not have to get together as 2 couples. If you expect to only play together as a couple with a couple, you will find that harder to arrange.

We were lucky. The very first couple we met, we liked. They are still friends 16 years later. More than that, they loved to host parties at their house about 4 times a year, so they invited us. We met a lot of our playmates that way.

So there are different ways to find playmates. Some of them work much better for some couples, others for different couples.

You'll have to start with whatever makes you both feel most comfortable, and go from there. Eventually you'll probably try all ways and then mostly stick to what you find most comfortable for both of you.

Jim

South Riding VA
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TOPIC: New to the life style