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NEW GUY GIVES OPINION : Swingers Discussion 180471
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TOPIC: NEW GUY GIVES OPINION
Created by: tarzan2112
Original Starting post for this thread:
Ok, here it comes...I am an easy going laidback guy. I have never done this before, therefore I am apt to make mistakes. I have made them. Will I be forever judged based on a few sentences, absolutely. That is what we humans do. We judge each other in order to judge ourselves. Fortunately for me I can live with it. So to help with people making the same mistakes I did I offer you this: Couples, if you do not want single men don't select seeking them. That way when we search "women who want single men" you will not come up in the search. If you are so fine that every guy is beating on your mailbox, lie and say you don't want us and just seek them out yourself. That way you get what you want without wading through the lesser men. The other option you have is to block your profile from us. You have to expect that statistically you will refuse the majority of people you talk to. Seems better than not getting many... I have been on the site days and am already gunshy...So many pitfalls out there..Do you ladies even consider things from the mans perspective? One profile is a hot chick who needs a hung stud with an A game. The next is is a couple with a hubby who may or may not want to probe or lick me in some way. The next is a couple so cut and dried it's "show up we'll size you over and let you know". Thats hard to decipher to us new guys, let alone the anxiety it produces. I guess my point in all this goes, cut us a little slack we need it. If the guy is an asshole or rude beyond redemption block him and forget about him. Don't look for him in the next guy because you will find it if you try to. We are each individuals and should be treated accordingly. When i try to not be what I read about it takes more effort than it should which takes me away from being me. It makes me assume I am talking with people already uptight which causes unnecessary roadblocks.In my opinion.

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WTG Tarzan. Good ideas and well expressed.

Jackson MI
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Good advise all around (OK..mostly good advice!). I've only been a member for a few days, and certainly can't provide a response based on my vast experience! I have had several people, singles and couples, respond with a polite "no thank you", or in some cases even a nice "yeah...let's chat". I guess my point is that, overall, the people here have been polite and welcoming (although there was one individual in the chat room who referred to me as a "blue dot"..I think I was supposed to offended...). I just figure that, if someone doesn't respond, or even read my emaiil, it wasn't mean to be, and I move on.

Good luck to all the "Blue Dots" out there!

Kennett Square PA
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New Guy~ I am terribly sorry for all your bad luck. I know its tough out there for the single guys, though I did want to touch on one thing you said that may help you in your search.

You were concerned that there are couples with guys that "may or may not want to probe or lick you". To be honest, its my experience that most bi or bi curious guys on this site DO in fact have self restraint. If you say "I'm not into guy/guy stuff", the rule No means No still applies. As the wife of a bi-curious guy, I have a unique perspective on this. We have had to list hubby as straight because if we list him as bi curious, people run for the hills. When will people understand that all "bi-curious" means is that the person is "curious". For our part, if we find a couple, and the guy is interested in a little guy on guy contact, great! If not, its not like my husband is going to force or pressure the male of a couple into things he doesn't want.

My advice to you, New Guy, and to anyone else that treats bi or curious guys like a pariah, but wants bi women like they are popcorn, please, please, PLEASE realize that bi guys have just as much restraint as bi girls. If a woman says, no girl/girl contact, the bi girl will adhere, and the same is true for bi guys. My two cents. Apparently I'm a bit grumpy this morning!

Baltimore MD
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'hypothetically OF course "........lol

Seminole FL
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I have also found the phone to be a wonderful alternative until I can actually meet a couple or lady. It has the added benefit of learning a little more about what she/they are looking for and sometimes, the phone sex is SO hot it makes you more determined to find a way make your schedules synch up.

hypothetically of course.

;-)

Youngstown OH
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Swing, Nic has been doing this a long time and always has good advice. I find myself agreeing with him about almost everything, with one exception. I read these forums just out of interest and sometimes for cheap entertainment. I'm sure I will meet in person a few people I've met in these forums if and when they happen to visit my city. But honestly my expectations of hooking up and playing with them are very low.

My advice to any single guy here is to write a decent profile that accurately describes yourself and what you're looking for, find some way to get a couple to certify that you are real (even if it says nothing about playing), and just enjoy the vanilla world until a couple finds your profile interesting enough that they contact you. Best of luck to you.

Belle Chasse LA
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Good to know! You don't have to tell me twice. :)

*runs off to go scour the forums and make post after post* ;)

Waltham MA
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I would sent and email to NaN....oh wait I already did....LOL....from a couples perspective I agree with NaN....posting in the forums and letting people get to know you is more effective with us than the 100's of email we get from single guys with one sentence like...."Hey nice ass" not that I dont like flattery....but for serious playmates bring your brain and you cock.....you will need both

Seminole FL
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I started on this site as part of a couple and while I really enjoyed MFMs with her and single guys from the site, the sheer volume of emails and IM's meant that every once in awhile we would block single males and in our profile, ask that they refrain from contacting us when we were visible to them. For that reason, I have no issue with couples who do those same things.

As in any situation, there is a polite way and an arrogant way to accomplish the same objective. That applies to couples and single males.

Youngstown OH
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remember this if you do ok outside the life style,you will do ok in,just find out what the rules are

Kingston TN
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TOPIC: NEW GUY GIVES OPINION