Making Friends: Swingers Discussion 173800

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Making Friends: Swingers Discussion 173800

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TOPIC: Making Friends

Created by: KBSB84 Original Starting post for this thread:
Does anyone feel that making friends while swinging, can lead to issues, as bonds/emotions are involved?

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User Details are only visible to members.	"Anyone else out there notice that trend of young parents and the lifestyle ?" Maybe not "young" parents, but parents in general do tend to form a better bond together than couples that do not have children. I have noticed that in our vanilla world between couples and people who don't have children. It also helps to have commonalities, such as hobbies, interests, etc, to keep a friendship with people that swing. We get along with almost everyone, but in the age of technology, an email once a year to play or a chat once a year does nothing to sustain a friendship, in my opinion. Even some of our vanilla friends see us only a few times a year, and that is due to a commonality- a camping hobby. Many of our friends are also not local, so the internet keeps us in touch until we see each other at camping events.
Quakertown PA			Username hidden (1831 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	personally think that friendships make thing complicated. i have always believed that ur significant other should be the only friend u need. in my experience women people tend 2 want what some1 else has. the more they think about it the more they want it. so keeping people at arms length is just like putting up a fence. without thought when ur on the other side of the fence the grass sure looks greener
Carmichael CA			Username hidden (130 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	belmont, i love your nipples. yummy.
San Marcos TX			Username hidden (23638 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	KBSB84, can we be friends??? :)
Grosse Pointe Woods MI			Username hidden (279 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	heehee.....my oldest is 17 and youngest is 6. lots today spend their 20s in college, then grad school, then est. careers...so its pretty common to see 1st time parents who are 28/29 today I think :0)
San Marcos TX			Username hidden (23638 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	"I have found that sex can alter a friendship, I have not found that friendship has altered sex though." For us, yeah. For me though, this is why I tend to stay kind of distanced to those I have chemistry with...as odd as that sounds. Once you are my homie, my friend...to me you change. I then see you in a different light than I do just a fwb. I respect you in a way, I don't know. So...once I become close to a fwb friendship wise, the sex usually stops. Just me.
San Marcos TX			Username hidden (23638 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Our experience has been that while friendship isn't critical as 'chemistry' to having a good time, it certainly does enhance everything. We have friends (both vanilla and LS) that we don't play with, and we'll play with LS 'acquaintances' if the mood strikes. We also have a very few LS friends with whom we're VERY close, perhaps closer than some would be able to handle. Check other threads here on Polyamory. Nevertheless, we'll be celebrating our 40th anniv this summer and still very much in Luv. If you're comfortable with playing with friends, then go for it. If it threatens you, then don't. Some people find mixing sex and friendship can be threatening to their relationship, but we're not among them. Do what you're both comfortable with, make sure that you're both singing from the same sheet of music, and Have Fun. :-) JnD
Fairview Heights IL			Username hidden (630 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	"I have found that sex can alter a friendship, I have not found that friendship has altered sex though." Really J1? We agree about the first half, but the second half? We've on a couple of occasions played with a couple due to initial attraction, developed a friendship over time with them, and added friendship more than made up for the loss of novelty - or at LEAST altered it. For us when we develop friendships it makes play WAY better. We also have many couples who we are delighted to see at parties, will IM with fairly regularly, and in a couple of cases have celebrated Thanksgiving or Christmas with, yet who we likely never will play with. We've found we're more likely to meet the kinds of people we could be non-play friends with in the lifestyle than the people we meet at work or through other social circles - people here are on the whole way less judgemental and more genuine than your average person. Not that we can't have fun with people who are just mad attractive to us regardless of friendship, of course... ;)
Hopkinton MA			Username hidden (256 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Some couples we consider very good friends. We play together, hang together, and go to parties together. These couples are great ppl and can maintain friendship and swing, without crossing any lines. There are others that we only play with. There are a lot of couples out there that are great ppl that understand that this is recreational fun. We weed out those that might propose playing alone or bring an emotional attachment to it. We have had that happen and its usually very easy to disassociate from them. Having a few good playmates that are friends make for some great sex!
Springfield MA			Username hidden (90 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	We've also make a couple of friends whom we probably never will have sex with, but consider "swing friends" because they are people we've met here, there isn't that sexual bond necessarily, but there is a friendship bond. I'm long winded too.
San Antonio TX			Username hidden (6020 post)

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TOPIC: Making Friends