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Long term relationships in the lifestyle : Swingers Discussion 45353101
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TOPIC: Long term relationships in the lifestyle
Created by: Ksfuncpl The original post for this thread was deleted.
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We have been in a ltr with one regular guy. We have had 3somes with him for quite some time now. We have become friends in the long run. We trust him and he trusts us. We have a great time together. Perhaps my problem is I can't be intimate with someone who I don't have feelings for if that makes sense. I can't be personal in that sense with someone if I'm not close to them. Don't misunderstand me, I don't mean in love with that person, but I must have a sense of feeling for this person if I'm going to be intimate with him. There has been no problem at all with this, and when we are done having our fun, I go home with hubby and all is well. Sure, we still are still open for a couple who wants to play around, but no one has approached us yet. So until then, we will stay with our friend and have a good time. btexpress

Lancaster PA
 
 
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Anyone who wants a Long Term Relationship with another couple should look into the area of Polyamouy. Get LOVING MORE Magazine, do an online searc on the topic. That is what a LTR with multiple persons implies.

But THAT is not swinging.

We used to think we'd like to just have 1 or 2 couples that we swapped with. But after this many years, we realize that isn't what we want at all. We have an emotional connection with each other; we don't need that type of intimacy with others. It's really just the sexxy fun we want.

Not to say we don't like playing with the same couples several times, etc. But we don't want to be limited.

Jen

Reading PA
 
 
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we have been swinging for 7 years plus now.We have two couple friends that we have known 7 years and still run with quite a bit. We have another couple friend that we have been with 4 years and counting now.All 4 couples including us are good friends. Each of us have met our families,vanilla friends and have hung out doing more then just sex. We feel that we have been blessed to have this many great friends out of this that are accepting of our preferences and us with theirs.We do the friends thing ,dinner, drinks ,help eah other when help is needed. We can count on one another .

Sarasota FL
 
 
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Thank you bill and suzie. We like to hear those stories about the "other" risks of swinging and ltrs. Thats what the forums are for... Any advice for us on how not to have our partners leave us in a swinging Ltr situation besides dont have them?

Wheatland CA
 
 
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It would be nice to have a LTR with 3 or 4 other couples, none of whom played outside our own little circle.

It ain't gonna happen. We lucked into being part of a 4-couple group for about 2 years, but then luck ran out and one of the husbands and another man's wife fell in love, started sending each other love letters and jewelry & screwing each other behind their spouses' backs (which made no sense, since they were fucking each other every weekend anyhow during swinging). The proverbial shit hit the proverbial fan big time. End of LTR 4-couple group.

On the other hand, we do still play occasionally with 2 couples we've been playing with occasionally for 7 years. Not an exclusive relationship, but none of us play a lot anymore. Still risky, but reduced risk compared to the days when we were swinging 25-30 times/year. Nowadays it's more like 5-10 times a year and with the same few couples, give or take something "new" once in a while. Still not risk free, but safer than before.

Condoms REALLY reduce the risk. Don't eliminate risk, but seriously reduce it.

Statistically speaking, of course. ROFL

Jim

South Riding VA
 
 
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I get the swinging idea. I get the safe sex versus promiscuity idea but at the same time the more people you have sex with does increse the risk of disease with each one (especailly those that arent covered by condom use) and thats why i like LTRs (not because i want a polyamourous relationship). Not saying its risk free but its a little safer. The LTR isnt so much a commitment thing as it is a trust thing. We can venture out with other couples just as long as the other couple knows about it so they can make informed decisions (ie play without an oral dam or play never again). Herpes is nothing to joke about. LOL. I am new and havent had too many experiences and don't know much but mathematically it makes sense. Mischief, youre free lunch is in the mail.

Wheatland CA
 
 
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That would not fall under swinging... In my opinion.

Wouldn't that be more of polyamora. That is the sharing of a relationship.

I do not wish to share my husband that deeply with anyone.

The bond we build with our playmates is nothing like what we have as a couple. I am secure in my relationship as it stands. Why would anyone want to have to deal with two ragging women .. or.. two beer drinking belching men..lol.. what a picture.

We are not in the lifestyle solely for play with others... It was initially.. But.. We learned quickly we are in it for the coming home sex.. I am sure most couples know what I mean.

Bridgeport PA
 
 
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Clears:

I did take you seriously. That's why I answered you. There are other types of sexuality. Swinging is but one type. Look up polyamoury. It's much harder to do. There are very few ways to avoid consequences over decades. I'm not speaking of swinging. I'm speaking of sex. I've bonded with 4-5 women in the last 15 years. The emotional toll was great. Asking questions is good. If you hit lotto and end up with a couple. Remember no free lunch.

Good luck,

Mischief

Glen Burnie MD
 
 
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Mischeif, your'e wrong, i would do you. Also, i think you should be getting paid for your advice. To tell you the truth I watch too much tv and read way too many magazines. Does anyone remember that handshake math equation? The one where two people shake hands and then those two people shakes hands with two more people so on and so forth. I dont want to shake someones hand that shook a hand thats been shaken to death. If you check one persons certs and then those peoples certs... Don't ask me why but that's what's in my head. Then again people can lie and exclusive couples can cheat. I just like to think aloud and get others opinions (to develop my own). No one take me seriously.

Wheatland CA
 
 
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My 2 cents......We are still at the looking and investigating stage of this great lifestyle and I must say from all the material I've covered this seems very rare and generally happenes by accident than by design. And it might be an assumption that if you are out looking for another serious loving relationship that you may not be ready for this type of lifestye. This is more of a sex as recreation type of community it seems to me. BTW no I'm no expert just my summations. Good luck just the same it would be great if EVERYONE could be happy.....>)

Hillsboro OR
 
 
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TOPIC: Long term relationships in the lifestyle