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TOPIC: Let_me_know_what_you_think_about_this_one__
Created by: freak1975
Original Starting post for this thread:
I'm not new on SLS but I just started posting on the forums.

So I'm listed as a single male yet I'm actually a married male who used to have a couples account with my wife. The admins at SLS saw fit to change that status after a member reported me as a fraud. I guess the fact that my wife was to busy to play for a while suddenly wiped out my married status as far as that member was concerned. I was completely up front about being married and my wife becoming busy by listing those details in our profile. I wasn't even asked about the situation before the change was made by the Admins. Now we all know what kind of negative dark cloud surrounds those members who are listed as 'single'. I take pride in the fact that I'm completely honest and I am an open book. I don't bullshit and I don't really pull punches. My wife knows fully what I do on my own and actually supports it. Hell, she gets excited by it. Yet I'm now considered to be some lying sneaky predator based solely on my status. I approach every member with respect and remain polite in every message. Honestly 9 out of 10 times that is not what I receive in return. Even when I answer a question with the truth I'm told I'm lying, lol. This is the one thing that annoys me the most. If your gonna ask someone a question the least you can do it consider that they may really be telling the truth. And ladies, not all men were created equal. Some of us are decent people ;)

I don't know where I'm going with this I guess I'm just pissed and venting and wanted to put this out there. You may think you know what someone is all about but you could be wrong. And I know that if everyone gave each other the benefit of the doubt more people would just be getting taken advantage of. But some of us are different. I'm staying positive though, remembering that I have met a couple of great people on this site. But damn the great people are out numbered by the bad ones.

I would love any feedback from any of you on this topic.

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So because I am nonactive in the lifestyle with no set timetable for a return at this point but Kitty is we need to list as a single female? We are still very much a couple and I'll be present- play or no play. I certainly hope your joking.

Pulaski TN
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probably a double standard.... but we do recall coming across this before, and we've pretty much assumed it was a fake profile, probably backed by some man jerking off in the basement of his mothers house, and hence blocked the profile.......

Grosse Pointe MI
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if people block single males its most likely because, let me be blunt here.... THEY DON'T WANT TO PLAY WITH MALES ONLY.........

i don't think there is a large group of people out there searching for married men playing on their own that would prefer this to unmarried men, maybe im wrong, maybe not...

but when you play alone, with or without your wife's consent, in the swinging world, you are considered a SINGLE MALE

SINGLE MALE, in its basic meaning here, doesn't define married or unmarried, just as couple doesn't necessarily mean "married".........

if we see a profile listed as a "couple" and within the description is states that the woman half does not participate or does not play or just allows the male to play alone... we report it everytime....

sorry.......

Grosse Pointe MI
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You will find someone, yes, even on this site. There are so many variances on the single male theme and on the preferences of solo females, and on couples where the male and female play separately. You just haven't found those who meet your preferences, and you theirs, yet. You will be limited, but you will find them, or they will find you.

Posting in the forums will help you, but you are going to get a lot of flak, also, for being married and playing solo. That's okay, weed through what you need on here, and ignore what isn't helpful. That goes for anyone in any forum topic.

We knew a young married couple, and played a bit as couples. She did not have the sex drive he did, and she wanted him to be happy. She got off on watching sex. Wasn't a big turn on for my husband, to be with them. The husband and I played alone once, with the approval and encouragement of our spouses. It was okay, but I still felt a bit uncomfortable with it. We took pics for our spouses and they loved that. But still...for me, for us, it's much more fun to be together. Others have other likes and dislikes.

we have a few other limited experiences with marrieds playing solo, but we'd much rather be with committed couples playing together, and bypass the whole "karma" of being with a married person playing solo. Just not our "thing," ordinarily. I think you have to really get to know that type person to feel a comfort level with him/her. That takes time that most people don't want to commit to.

You may be in the minority, but keep posting and watching replies and maybe someone will email you personally to see if you're a match.

Good luck. You don't come across whiny or desperate, so that's a plus.

Gina

San Antonio TX
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You have no play partner. You meet and/or play solo, so you are single as far as playing is concerned.

Whether or not someone or some couple chooses to play with a married/attached male/female without the other's knowledge is entirely up to them. There have been a few discussions here on that subject.

I believe the majority of responses to those threads has been that an attached person playing alone is not typically accepted as a play partner UNLESS the other partner verifies their partner's solo play by a face to face meeting and/or phone conversation.

Brooklyn Park MN
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You all have valid points and I agree with your concerns and understand all of them. As a man I know what we are capable of and it's sad. I hear stories and just shake my head at those guys. I try and steer those guys towards being more respectful and just a little more honest, lol. I have a wife and kids so I take some caution to not create a bad situation with a new friend who could potentially have a devastating effect on my life. And of course this is another reason why some people are reserved in the lifestyle and rightfully so. But I don't like getting the cold shoulder over the issue and I'm sure nobody does. My wife and I have talked about this a couple times and she wouldn't mind giving someone her blessing over the phone. Of course both of know that anyone with a keyboard can type a message "from the wife" lol. Her first reaction to hearing that women wanted to get verification over the phone was one of surprise. But she does get it now. It's a necessary step for some women to move forward with anything. It doesn't help that I try not to jump into another couple as the third person. I prefer playing alone with the female. The main reason is shyness with another male there. The other reason is to avoid ever having a male change his mind in the middle of the action. That's a conflict I never want to encounter. I get it. I don't like it but I understand. I would just like to get past the single status before getting blown off.

Also....I haven't done anything on this site (or any other) to warrant action by the admins. I'm a respectful person and treat everyone accordingly.

Thanks for the replies.

Pittsgrove NJ
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Nothing against you freak, but roughly 70% of SM's that contact us are married and cheating. Then a couple of weeks ago I contacted a SM and in a round about way found out, by his own, honest admission to my direct question about it, he was married. We received an e-mail in different size and style text what was supposedly from his wife, saying she was fine with him playing outside of their marriage and our concern was common.

The wife and I talked about it for a week or so, and yesterday I told him we were backing away because he was married. It seems too risky to us.

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As far as the site goes your profile is that of a single male. If/when your wife becomes involved and is going to go on meets with you, you can email the site and they should change your profile to a couple. Until then you are a married man swinging alone, even if you have her consent.

New Castle PA
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We see a lot of fake profiles with married men cheating-- both as a couple (and the wife is "taking a break" or "not interested in our profile, but HE is" or when we suggest meeting "she can't make it, but he'll still be there") and a single male who is "discreet and needs discretion" and can only play during the week at lunchtime. We were going to meet a "single" male and noticed in his one of his galleries he must have forgotten to take off his wedding band.

Cheaters can range from clever to being very obvious and they are a reason that we take extra caution when meeting new friends. After agreeing to meet we will talk with both male and female on the phone, and if it's a married guy playing single we would want to talk with her and meet her to confirm the "hall pass." So, if you do have your wife's approval, would she go with you to meet prospective play partners?

We have never reported anyone, but maybe we should. We have found that most SLS members are reasonable people and that management is fair. We believe there must have been some credible reason for the action taken on your profile.

Gibsonia PA
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I'm not new on SLS but I just started posting on the forums.

So I'm listed as a single male yet I'm actually a married male who used to have a couples account with my wife. The admins at SLS saw fit to change that status after a member reported me as a fraud. I guess the fact that my wife was to busy to play for a while suddenly wiped out my married status as far as that member was concerned. I was completely up front about being married and my wife becoming busy by listing those details in our profile. I wasn't even asked about the situation before the change was made by the Admins. Now we all know what kind of negative dark cloud surrounds those members who are listed as 'single'. I take pride in the fact that I'm completely honest and I am an open book. I don't bullshit and I don't really pull punches. My wife knows fully what I do on my own and actually supports it. Hell, she gets excited by it. Yet I'm now considered to be some lying sneaky predator based solely on my status. I approach every member with respect and remain polite in every message. Honestly 9 out of 10 times that is not what I receive in return. Even when I answer a question with the truth I'm told I'm lying, lol. This is the one thing that annoys me the most. If your gonna ask someone a question the least you can do it consider that they may really be telling the truth. And ladies, not all men were created equal. Some of us are decent people ;)

I don't know where I'm going with this I guess I'm just pissed and venting and wanted to put this out there. You may think you know what someone is all about but you could be wrong. And I know that if everyone gave each other the benefit of the doubt more people would just be getting taken advantage of. But some of us are different. I'm staying positive though, remembering that I have met a couple of great people on this site. But damn the great people are out numbered by the bad ones.

I would love any feedback from any of you on this topic.

Pittsgrove NJ
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TOPIC: Let me know what you think about this one
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