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Knowing your limits : Swingers Discussion 232266
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TOPIC: Knowing your limits
Created by: 241fun2013
Original Starting post for this thread:
Hi, My husband and i are very new to the lifestyle and we have yet to meet anyone yet. We keep trying to figure out what our limits are so my questions are: How and when did you figure out what your limits were? Did you discuss it before or just figure it out as you went along? Also did you set limits for each other? We're your limits different for each other Example one partner just soft swap other partner full swap ?

Thank you for any insight you can give,

K&S

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In addition to some of the great advice you got below, I'd also recommend the following...

<span style="font-size:13px; line-height:1.6em">- Startslow. There's no reason at all for your first few experiences to be 'all the way'. I'd recommend maybe even start with just same room sex with your own partner. Watch another couple have sex, and let them watch you. This is essentially the best entry point for a new couple, IMO. There are lots of other levels you canprogress to on subsequent encounters. Set your boundaries before each encounter, and don't change them in the heat of the moment.</span>

- Give yourself some time to get acclimated. We probably had a dozen or so encounters before we were ready to try full swap. I'm glad we did it this way, because I'm not sure we were really ready for it at first, and by the time we got there, we were completely comfortable.

<span style="font-size:13px; line-height:1.6em">- Find a couple you can progress with. going through the progression is much easier to newcomers if you can become more comfortable with one couples and progress with them. There are a lot of more experienced couples out there that will be more than happy to progress slowly with you. Just let them know up front that you're new, and that you want to take it very slow.</span>

- Your boundaries can be whatever you are comfortable with. However, keep in mind that if your boundaries are uneven, the reasons why should be considered. If the reasons have to anything do with jealously, then I'd seriously questionwhether or not this is a good idea for you.

Best of luck.

Chesterfield VA
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(92 posts)
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Thank you for your advice especially the part about sticking to your limits and not changing them in the heat of the moment. We have been married 16 years and together for 21. I don't want either of us to do something that could jeopardize our relationship even with consent.

Winchendon MA
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Your limits, or lack thereof, are something you should discuss before you start. You can always change as you go but not being sure of what you want from the get go may lead to problems. For us we started with full swap & never looked back, LOL!

Princeton NJ
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(250 posts)
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Hi, My husband and i are very new to the lifestyle and we have yet to meet anyone yet. We keep trying to figure out what our limits are so my questions are: How and when did you figure out what your limits were? Did you discuss it before or just figure it out as you went along? Also did you set limits for each other? We're your limits different for each other Example one partner just soft swap other partner full swap ?

Thank you for any insight you can give,

K&S

Winchendon MA
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(34 posts)
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TOPIC: Knowing your limits