Just decided to join the lifestyle, and um, now what: Swingers Discussion 197213

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Just decided to join the lifestyle, and um, now what: Swingers Discussion 197213

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TOPIC: Just decided to join the lifestyle, and um, now what

Created by: KatherineAndMark	The original post for this thread was deleted.

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User Details are only visible to members.	Hi Katherine and Mark, First of all welcome. You will get alot of great info off this forum but you might find yourself wading through a huge amount of posts. I wrote an Ebook (FREE on swingaus dot com) about entering the lifestyle with info about meeting people online, at parties or at lifestyle resorts etc. There's also info on sexual health and a few other things that may come up as you're starting out. I hope this helps you. Enjoy the ride!!!
Melbourne Victoria Australia			Username hidden (14 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Welcome to the forums and I'm glad you are enjoying your ride. Newbies should start slow and asses theiir preferences and their rules. There are lots of great folks here and some nuts. Choose wisely and have FUN.
Brick NJ			Username hidden (9703 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	we are new too and i have to say starting out slow is a lot more fun than jumping in to full swap. each little progressive step seems like a giant leap of new eroticism. so far its been fun and we have met some cool folks. also some nut-jobs, but mostly cool folks.
Franklin TN			Username hidden (5 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Guys, now that you have a few pictures posted, it will be OK to delete this line from your profile: "We'll probably post pictures (once we figure out what we should post)". You will see that your profile will evolve as you gain experience and your tastes and preferences are determined. Change the text accordingly. Have fun!
Panama City Beach FL			Username hidden (1934 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Yes, Welcome to the forums and the Lifestyle KatherineandMark! :) Great advice was given here! And there are definitly great threads ALL over the place as someone stated. Please look for them! (Getting Started, Swinger Advice, Finding Playmates, Profile Review ...etc...) ...advice can be endless. lol *There are alot of 'trials and errors' in the lifestyle!!! Expect them and learn from them! ...and ....you'll still have your share no matter how much reading you do (i can atest to that! lol) Finding compatible playmates is not as easy as it may sound, but if you have fun together doing it that's what matters. You're profile is nice, it shows your personalities a little, but yes, you could use more information. Look at other profiles too to get some ideas. And read about contacting people and what turns them off. I do not send a face pic with a first contact email ....unless ...they have already shown their face in their profile. But I do say 'we would be happy to exchange face pics if you are interested." You'll find many people that do not even respond to your email. ...And be sure to read their profile to see in you have anything in common!! It will take time and ...alot of TALKING... to even know exactly what you're looking for ...(and even then it will change often, lol) Being new is not attractive to many as their could be potential 'drama', and no one likes that! So work out as much as you can between each other. Talk, Talk and Talk. And don't count soley on your profile, ...get out and meet people, best without expectations tho, so it can lessen disappointments. If your stats are wrong, change them right away. Best of luck to both of you! Lady K
Kunkletown PA			Username hidden (2981 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I would suggest if at all possible to go to an event of some kind, such as a public meet and greet, or hotel party/club. Look in the events section to find out what's going on locally. It'll help you to first off get an immediate idea of what kind of people (i.e. normal people) are in the lifestyle, and you'll get to meet a lot of people really quickly. You'll need to be a bit outgoing. I know for a lot of us just approaching and talking to total strangers is not the norm, so it'll take some guts. I might also suggest you take it easy. The first couple of events you go to, watch people, talk to people, and then afterwards talk with each other. This will help you understand how the other sees things and help you hone your communication skills prior to "jumping in", which will help to prevent misunderstandings and problems. Good luck. Take it easy and remember - this is supposed to be fun. :)
Chesapeake VA			Username hidden (11813 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Keep it simple, meet at a public place for the first time, just get to know each other, get some nervousness out. A meet and greet event is also a good way to "start." You will prob. find a more experienced couple at one of those, and it's a good idea if they post/list people who are going to it, so you can just drop a "hi, we're new to this and would just like to say hello," blah blah, it doesn't really matter how you word that, as we were all new at some point! Go to events, meet people, REMEMBER THAT YOU ARE THERE TO HAVE FUN...and also remember that you are there to have fun with each other! That's a strong point to remember as you meet other swingers. If you're not both having a good time with each other, then what's the point? Keep reading the forums, and welcome. Gina
San Antonio TX			Username hidden (6064 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Well, so you have your profile written, your pictures will be up hopefully soon... Time to start sifting through the profiles in your area and yes, contacting those who seem compatible. Some people may contact you first and that is great! But if you are not attracted for ANY reason, it is OK to politely decline. Don't rush to have that first experience, because it may end up really bad. You can probably find stories right here in the forums. Don't be afraid to admit you are new. Try to find someone you feel really attracted to, it will make it easier to get naked with them lol. You might want to look for a mentor couple, someone who will not mind spending some of their time just answering your questions or maybe introducing you to a few people. Unfortunately you will encounter rude people, cheaters, posers, fakers, flakes, no-shows and a plethora of other nut cases lol. Don't get discouraged! Real people are out there. Whatever your fantasy is, you can make it happen! Good luck to you!
Panama City Beach FL			Username hidden (1934 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	OK, now that I had written this novel, I think I will save it in a file on my desktop, so anytime a new couple comes around asking the same questions, all I will have to do is copy and paste... LOL!!!
Panama City Beach FL			Username hidden (1934 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	KatherineAndMark, welcome to the forums... And the lifestyle! This topic has been discussed many times in the forums. Please feel free to take a look around, you will find a lot of useful information. Flirting is always strongly encouraged and welcomed :) Have fun! But to answer your question... Yes, please post pictures! Public gallery is a good place to post clothed full body shots, faces can be blurred out if you prefer. Please have pictures of the male half, that is often a deal breaker. If you want to post nude shots, that is fine too, but some folks prefer to keep those in private and personal galleries. Of course you will need face shots in private gallery. In the written section of your profile... Really, just write what you are looking for, but try to be specific. Do you use condoms? Do you play on the first date? Do you like to party? What body type you prefer? What kinks are you into? What are your fantasies? And since you are new, it is OK to admit that too! Nothing worse than people who come across as "real" only to find out that they don't know what they want... That is, if they actually show up. On a side note: do you have your statistics mixed up for the male and female...? As far as initial contact goes... Read other profiles. Pay attention to their preferences when it comes to age, smoking, weight, sexual activities they like. Some people will want you to include a specific word in the subject line of your message, some will say that they will initiate contact when interested... When composing your message, try to mention something from their profile that you think you have in common. Compliment on pictures if appropriate. Tell them a little about yourselves. It is a good idea to sign your names and attach a face picture of both of you or open face pictures when contacting. Without that, many people will not answer or even block you. Use proper English (that one gets me hot and bothered!!!) and be polite. As far as you... Since you are brand new, you probably have all sorts of ideas but are you ready to make them happen? You say in your profile that the wife will want a hard fuck against the wall. That is great! But are you ready to see your wife being pounded by another man? Is she ready to watch you take a plunge into another woman's pussy? Have you discussed the possibilities of jealousy or insecurity? Maybe you want to start with a milder fantasy, but choose one that BOTH of you agree on. To meet people, the best thing is to attend a local Meet & Greet or a swing club if there is one. This way you have a chance to meet many folks at once and if there is mutual chemistry, you might get to play and you don't have to worry what their profile says or what the pictures show. Also very important... Communicate with each other! Any questions, concerns, doubts you might have about swinging, talk about them until you reach an agreement. It is best when both of you are on the same page before an encounter happens. Do not cave in to pressure. No one can make you do things you don't want to do. If that happens, leave! Last, but not least... Do not take anything personally! People will reject you and you will reject people too. Do not give up, but be prepared to be patient. And most importantly, have fun!
Panama City Beach FL			Username hidden (1934 post)

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TOPIC: Just decided to join the lifestyle, and um, now what