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TOPIC: Is_a_Club_a_Good_Idea_when_you_are_Virgins
Created by: Grumpy_and_Godfather The original post for this thread was deleted.
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Glitter - check the listings for clubs in your area, most allow single women, and some others may allow single men.

Rochester NY
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Glitter, There are clubs that do allow couples and singles, then there are clubs that are couples only. Every club is different in what they cater to. A majority of clubs are couples that do allow single women, but few allow both couples and single men and single women. In general all the clubs tend to be the same, the people are friendly and very social. Newbies are in general made to feel comfy and no pressure to do anything if they don't want to.

Port St Lucie FL
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Good thing I wasn't there. I would have mauled her! ROFL

Jim

Culpeper VA
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When Jane and I started she was frightened to death of being mauled. It seemed impossible to meet people when the questions we had were so very basic. I mean we didn't even know what the questions were. I wanted complete power over our safety/comfort. We could not allow ourselves to be dependant on another couple for transportation. We didn't want someone in our home. We did not want to have to explain when we wanted to leave someone else’s home. A Club was the only possibility we had. Therefore, I promised Jane that we would go just for five minutes. I promised her that we would leave the very moment she was afraid/uncomfortable. I did not care what the cost. If we were there for five minutes then we would consider another five minutes. I promised Jane that I would take care of us. We chose Freedom Acres. Our five minute adventure began. Our hearts were pounding as we entered their driveway. We decided to go further. We entered their front door area and everyone seemed very polite. We took a tour. (20 minutes gone). We filled out a form while watching others walk by in various states of dress. No one spoke to us except for the occasional “Welcome, hope you stay” comments. (50 minutes gone). We went upstairs into the bar, turned in out bottle, and asked for a pour. We sat and talked to each other for an hour just getting the feel of things. We made love in the bar that evening, Butt Naked. That was back in the days when you could have sex up in the bar. It was a wonderful experience. No one ever spoke to us other than the very many polite comments like “Oops, excuse me” and so on. That was 14 years ago. Al my promises to Jane are the same today.

On reflection I realize it was important to go to a couples only club.

Curt n Jane

Pasadena CA
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The club idea is the way to go... I agree. The lady can wear pants if that makes her feel less exposed. I would limit my drinking severely. I would get there early get the tour that new folks get. I would then find a good spot to watch and relax. Take along a small lock so you can park your purse/cellphone/whatever in a locker if you choose to.

After you have gotten comfortable...just hang out. Experienced folks will ID you as new fairly quickly. You can't help it you are new. ;) I also suggest wandering around after the place get "swinging".

It might be fun to get a room just for yourselves and have sex at the club. You can be priming each other during the early part of the night.

Regarding your boundaries. I highly suggest setting your boundaries ahead of time. I also highly suggest NEVER changing them during the heat of the moment. This is a lifestyle not an event. You should never be concerned about having boundaries.

If they are not respected, or someone tries to convince you otherwise..Dump them immediately. If you become entangled in a uncomfortable situation. Say so immediately. You and hubby should have a safe word. A word or phrase that means "Lets get out of Dodge NOW.".. Something like. I should have worn that red dress. We have sheets like this at home in RED. Anything with RED in it=get your clothing...we are leaving now. No discussion until you get into the car.

I do suggest always deciding to have a good time. Some nights will be slow. The folks attending may not be to your liking...etc. Deciding ahead of time to have no expectations other than to enjoy each other will go a long way to helping you find your way in this life style.

have fun,

Mischief....been doing this for 30 years....

Glen Burnie MD
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Ok...it works! I took the lead and got things started a bit more than I usually do, here with some new couples at our house. Also, I was the oldest person, so felt ok with it all! Basically, all I did was say, "whew, I need to get these jeans off," as we were all standing around the kitchen and bar area talking and flirting a bit. That, and when we made our way to the living room, I sat on the floor near a great young guy and started rubbing his leg, and things progressed quite nicely.

So, it works. If someone isn't ready to play yet, he/she can gently move your hand a bit and smile, or say, "I'm not quite ready yet." I can't imagine ANYONE not respecting that.

Gina

San Antonio TX
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I think a club is a great idea to get to see those in the lifestyle and experience the atmosphere. Its a great lot of fun and I have never felt pressured at any club I have attended, and its always been a blast!

Houston TX
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We feel that if you pick the right club, it can be an excellent place for learning about the lifestyle in a safe atmosphere. We love TJ's in Pa. and recommend it for anyone wishing to go to a club for the first time. As for setting your limits, if you let another couple know that you are new and wish to progress slow and sorta "feel your way" through the lifestyle, most will be glad to go at your paise. After all we were all new at one time and understand how nervous it can be to step into unfrimiliar grounds. With a club you can just go and watch what is going on and have a chance to meet others without expectations. Some people think clubs can be cliquish, don't be afraid to say hello to other people. Most of the time it's not that the people are in clicks so much as it's easier to talk to people you have seen time after time. Be friendly, smile and have a good time. If you have a question about something, ask it, let someone know you have never been there before and would like to know a little about whatever your question is. Most people will be glad to help and its a good way to start a conversation. Staci also likes to compliment other ladies on their outfits (if she truely likes the outfit, be honest, it's not a pickup line). After the ice is broken, conversations usually become much easier. Remember when you go to a club, dress to impress. first impressions can mean a lot.

Mercersburg PA
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Niu, I'm with BiF in that is a wonderful perspective. I think most experienced couples do back off so to speak and go with the comfort levels of the newer couple; and yes, I can see that the newer couple could be going when does the play start LOL...good perspective. Shelly

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That's an interesting take on taking the initiative. When we're with couples who are newer than we are, we do tend to let them initiate things, mostly because we don't want to scare them off, or be pushy. Maybe they're waiting on us, as you said? We'll certainly be more aware of that.

Thanks, Gina.

San Antonio TX
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TOPIC: Is a Club a Good Idea when you are Virgins
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