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In total disbelief : Swingers Discussion 215971
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TOPIC: In total disbelief
Created by: justus905
Original Starting post for this thread:
Hi - We are newbies. We have a question.if you meet another couple is it made TOTALLY clear if there is to be play or not???? And if so what if some unforseen event keeps it from happening how do you handle it?? Thank you in advance for all your replies ;)
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We say "no play on the first meet" also. That gives he/them and us an out if we're not feeling it.

At the same time, we're prepared and ready just in case.

Many times its just clear we all want to and are ready, so then we just go for it.

Mount Juliet TN
 
 
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Hubby and I prefer to keep our meets with a couple fairly short. We've had some too long meets with couples that were so boring...it was awful.

We're going to try the "no play on the first meet" thing for a bit and see how that works. We've gotten all ready to play when we meet up with couples and it rarely works out for one reason or the other.

Lahaina HI
 
 
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Just to add my 2 cents worth and to add to the numbers of like-minded people, I agree with what everyone else wrote here. YOUR wishes are what you need to consider when setting your rules of engagement when playing, so to speak. We meet people for dinner first so we have a relaxed hour (or more, when the chemistry is right) of getting to know each other and talking about our sexual wishes. Then we go home and discuss whether we want to schedule a time to play with them, they do the same, and we move forward - or not- from there. Only one time did we have to tell a couple that we didn't feel the sexual connection, and I was so glad to be able to say that over the phone rather than while in a hotel room with expectations running amok.

Sheboygan Falls WI
 
 
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Thank you for all the advice you all are wonderful sweet people !! We have since recieved a apology for the other couple. Also the Hubby and I have come to a complete understanding that not all people are as they seem..

Plant City FL
 
 
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We have not full swapped on the first date or even the second. We prefer to really know the people and establish a friendship. It helps eliminate the fake couples. Couples that are sincere tend to think the same way. We do however play to a certain extent on the first date, how far we go depends on the people we meet. We understand that sometimes a woman may have her monthly friend at date time or the guy can't fully perform (been there ourselves). That does not mean that some form of play can't happen. It's about waht everyone can do and are willing to do. For us this is an adventure. Some people just want to get laid with out flirting. That is simply boring and we stay away from those that lack sexual prowess.

Beaufort SC
 
 
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We don't play on the first meet.

Take some of the pressure off.

Middletown DE
 
 
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I'm down with a same wavelength mentality. Though I'd much prefer a vis a vis style sharing. Sadly, my travels still aren't leading me south. :( I'm heading north, Escanaba, in the next month or so. Then west, Portland and Seattle this summer.

Toledo OH
 
 
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Toledo, are you reading my mind or something tonight?

San Antonio TX
 
 
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Whatever your stance is, if you are firmly for or against play; make it known. We are much more laid back, there is no expectation. If it happens it happens, if not we're fine with that too.

Toledo OH
 
 
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*You* need to make it totally clear if there will be play or not. Either before the meet you need to decide if you play or not on the first "date" or discuss and decide there at the meet.

Just come right out and say it/discuss it. Save yourselves time and $$$ for drinks. If there's no chemistry...cut the meet short, thank them and be on your way. No hard feelings.

Lahaina HI
 
 
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TOPIC: In total disbelief