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I'm new to the lifestyle and I have questions about protocol and other stuff : Swingers Discussion 201614
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FORUMSGeneral DiscussionsGetting StartedI'm new to the lifestyle and I have questions about protocol and other stuff
TOPIC: I'm new to the lifestyle and I have questions about protocol and other stuff
Created by: looking2havefun2012 The original post for this thread was deleted.
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I think the OP's real question is at the very end of her post. She wants to know if her long distance boyfriend is fucking others and encouraging her to do the same (but only with couples).

He is fucking other women under the context it's a lifestyle behavior.

Whitehouse Station NJ
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I too am a bit confused. I read your profile as well as your post here, and it just doesn't sound like A) you're really all that interested in the LS, or B) that you're having any fun. If you're participating because someone else wants that, and not you, or you're not having fun, then you should probably be doing something else.

I'm going to go out on a limb and hypothesize that this is for your BF's benefit and that you're not really very enthusiastic yourself. If this is in fact the case, you might want to replace your BF with someone who is more willing to consider your desires. If I'm out in left field, then I apologize, but that's what I get from your post and your profile.

Communication, mutual care and concern, mutually growing and solidifying a relationship, and having fun together are at the root of the lifestyle. If these aren't present, then the swinging (and the relationship) is doomed (IMHO).


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looking2havefun2012, welcome to the Forums! I'm confused about your post, perhaps because you are, too. You said you can go out to meet couples and that your partner may join you at some point, which seems to indicate you can meet couples AND PLAY with them, with your partner joining you possibly later. But then you said you think your partner may feel it is okay for you to play alone.

The first thing you need to do is to get this point clarified with your boyfriend. Is it okay with him that you would play with others alone, and just as importantly, is it okay with YOU? Is this something you want to do? If not, then is the process of you going out to meet the couples just meant to save your boyfriend the trouble and time?

It's great that you're being honest with the couples but you need to figure out what your intentions are at the end of the night. For us, meeting people together is status quo- and if either of us doesn't feel attracted to the other party or senses something that makes us uncomfortable, we don't take it further. It is essential for us to meet both people in the other couple right from the start.

Good luck, and keep posting!

Sheboygan Falls WI
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I see nothing in your post that would indicate that you have any genuine interest in this lifestyle. That is the first huge red flag I see. I havent had a chance to read your profile, so I'll stop there and let a few others share.

Cape Canaveral FL
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Welcome looking and I think your profile is quite clear regarding your preferences and desires. Anyone that objects can simply pass you by and I applaud your candor, as I believe most legit couples will.

Good luck and have fun!

Poland OH
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Looking... Welcome to the forums!

Fasten your seatbelt.

Cape Canaveral FL
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TOPIC: I'm new to the lifestyle and I have questions about protocol and other stuff