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Hubby looking for advice : Swingers Discussion 195866
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TOPIC: Hubby looking for advice
Created by: Kollos71
Original Starting post for this thread:
Hey all,

Obviously new to this. Wife wanted to try and full swing, and hubby encouraged her to try. She has been with new to lifestyle couple on her own and I had no issues, before during or after. We have met another man and had one threesome with him over an afternoon. It was great fun. However hubby is now having issues trying to accept wife being alone with new guy for another go at fun. Is this normal to feel this way, even after being married over 20 years?

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YOU guys are in the relationship. PARTNERS

We have a rule in our relationship with swinging.

All one of us has to say is we are not comfortable with something and THATS IT! It stops instantly, no questions asked.

Not to say we wont discuss things and learn why one of us feels the way we do. We do that.

But as far as pressure or "talking each other into it" No way. Nothing should be more important than the comfort and security of your partner.

Mount Juliet TN
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I know myself that ill probably never feel comfortable with wife playing by herself. Of course that could change in the distant future but as for now. like they say it will be a cold day in..........................................

Delta PA
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deb: DOH...?..BS

Kingston TN
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heres a secreat to swinging.talk,talk,talk,and when you get done talk some more,talk to each other all the time.never let a day go by without letting her know she is the women of your life.and you should feel the same form her....BS

Kingston TN
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Hey all,

She is looking for things to do while I am away or busy, hence why being alone. We have discussed for several hours since last posting, and she is ok with going slower. Will meet up with the guy and set some additional boundaries that we will all be comfortable with, and go from there.

I appreciated all of the replies. Thanks.

J

Schaumburg IL
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My preference is always for the husband to be there anyway.

yea if you are worried about her being alone with him, just go with her, and just watch, or participate

Philadelphia PA
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If you agree on the wife playing alone (and that's a big IF), there are two ways to look at it: Play only with a man you don't expect to see again, to avoid risk of attachment etc. Or play only with a man who you already know, so you avoid worrying about safety, staying within boundaries, etc.

My preference is always for the husband to be there anyway.

Belle Chasse LA
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Why is she so hell bent on playing alone ?

Parsippany NJ
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Thanks everyone. I have talked with T before I joined the forum, and again last night after reading her the responses. She was worried that I was going to tell her to stop, when that is not what I want at all, just to go slower so we both feel comfortable at the same level. I was worried that the way I was feeling meant I was not cut out for the lifestyle, but apparently I am pretty normal, at least in that sense.

Responses are much appreciated!

Schaumburg IL
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Kollos71, welcome to the Forums from another midwesterner! The advice already posted is great. Talk about your feelings with your wife, never assume the conversation can't be resumed, and slow down until you both are ready to continue. If you have the time, read other threads here that seem to address a similar problem, starting at the oldest page. People tend to venture off onto other subjects in threads, abandoning the OP altogether. And be aware that the forums are not all that well organized, so you may have to dig into other headings to find what you want. Good luck, and have fun.

Sheboygan Falls WI
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TOPIC: Hubby looking for advice