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How to keep from being discouraged : Swingers Discussion 2195541011
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FORUMSGeneral DiscussionsGetting StartedHow to keep from being discouraged
TOPIC: How to keep from being discouraged
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Good post, livewire. A little introspection never hurts when assessing how you're doing in the lifestyle.

Tempe AZ
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I guess the majority of the people here fall into the "not courteous" category! LOL

Ugh....

Lahaina HI
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Well, see...here's the thing. People tend to expect swingers to be more kind than normal society. Think about being at a normal club....are they polite and kind? No...they tend to be rude, push you over when they walk by, catty, etc. Unfortunately, when people become swingers they do not become enlightened or give up their asshole card at the door hahaha. I wish I could say that people are always sweet and courteous, but sometimes they aren't. There are lots and lots and lots of swingers who are good, nice people. But then there are some who just are not so nice, some that are competitive, jealous, and all sorts of shit. You just cannot take it personally. At one time I did take things personally and would go to clubs and have my feelings hurt. I just don't know what to tell you other than go to have fun and just not expect anything from people.

San Marcos TX
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Yes... everyone talks about NOT having "expectations" in this lifestyle. As far as having sex goes, we have zero expectations about that.

But I do have expectations of people being at least courteous when we meet up in person. That's not too much to expect, is it???

Maybe it is.....

Lahaina HI
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After a lot of years of meeting couples we both are attracted to has been very rare. So many are here for his pleasure and the lady is not really a player. So we have decided that since we have found only one couple we have a real ongoing relationship, playing separately serves us best. I will have to admit that she finds many more couples available than I but that seems to be normal.

Cherrylog GA
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Wanna, I understand your frustration. When we started in the ls we had the same issues. The one thing you can never have are expectations. When you go to a club or party or ls event expecting something, or with a "goal" in mind...if you do not meet that "goal" you walk away feeling a sense of failure. I would strongly suggest you drop all of your expectations and go to have fun. Go to the ls club with the same reason that you go to any club...to party, have a great time, dance and laugh with friends. Just go to have fun. If you fuck strange, have a great time and fuck strange...but if you do not fuck strange that night, know that you showed up with your best friend, had a great time...and having a great time is what life is all about.

San Marcos TX
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@aquarium - I hear ya! We have been in the LS for a little over a year and are almost ready to give it all up. We've had some experiences, some fun...some not as much. But it is sooooo dang hard to meet people here where we live, it' not even funny. It's a VERY small pool.

There are no clubs here. Every once in a great while, someone will have a M&G, but they are so poorly attended. There are no house or hotel parties. (Wait...there actually ARE, but we are never invited to them.) We are left with just trying to meet people online.

We're getting tired of meeting up with people who greatly misrepresent themselves and their intentions online. We know it's all part of the "game", but it's getting really old.

Lahaina HI
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We approach it as kinddragon does. We don't have any expectations, unless there have been some REALLY good vibes on the phone or email. But we're good Boy Scouts and are always prepared;) If you approach a first meeting realistically, you'll be fine. Since there are four people involved instead of two, the "odds" of everyone being on the same page obviously increase....

Tempe AZ
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Be careful of meeting with the expectations of playing on the first time, I know a previous poster said to go expecting.. but read many profiles and you will see most say do not expect to play on the first meeting.

Events and clubs have been the way I have met the group of friends I have and they introduce others to the group and so you always meet new people.

Spring TX
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We are experiencing the same thing. We have only had one experience so far, and luckily it was a fantastic one. However, we receive numerous messages a day, my husband chats with one or both of the couple, but we end up getting the run around, or blown off. It's really frustrating. Why be here if you just want to string people along. Is that fun? I think it's sick.

Pittsburgh PA
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TOPIC: How to keep from being discouraged