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How to handle an odd situation : Swingers Discussion 204640
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TOPIC: How to handle an odd situation
Created by: WannaTry808
Original Starting post for this thread:
We recently met up with a very nice couple for drinks. We had a lovely time, but both hubby and I felt the other couple wasn't into us. They wouldn't flirt, they kept looking at each other (for reassurance??), etc. We had great conversation, but we all ended up leaving the restaurant with just a hug goodbye. Consequently, we figured they weren't interested. The next morning, we sent a very courteous "thank you for meeting us, we had a nice time" email.

2 days later, we get an email from them saying they are ready to go! They felt all this sexual attraction and want in our pants. ?!????!?????

We're newbies to all of this, but is this sort of turn-about usual? I know it's different for everyone, but we figured if there was "chemistry" between all of us, we'd feel it.

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To the OP

Ok, so they were just checking you out... At least you know they like ya!

Some folks see ya online and decide, they want ya immediately..

Some want to make eye contact with ya and check ya out up close.. We see it like a job interview... Let's sleep on it and decide later when under no pressure!

These two are obviously not impulse fuckers, but wanted to discuss it privately..

Nothing odd at all as far as we would be concerned, if it happened to us!

San Antonio TX
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Is that what it is... the water here?

We always hope not to be judged too harshly. We've exchanged emails with couples that transition into phone calls and when we attempt to set up a meet, scheduling puts us out for weeks on end. Between my work schedule and Liz's kids/school/household/etc. it's tough to get a weekend together, let alone one that permits a get together (babysitter and free house). We've had a number of couples tell us that they felt put off when it was no intention of our own that caused it. Luckily, I'm a great flirt and Liz is just a knockout. That way when we actually get together, it's game on. That's one of the reasons we never rule out play on the first date.

Toledo OH
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"Maybe I *should* go to Ohio and have some of that water! LOL "

Oh yes, you should!

Poland OH
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@de_cpl - Exactly! They weren't being very "secretive" with their "secret phrases". LOL It was pretty funny. As hubby and I were driving away, we were like..."WTH was that??!?" LOL

@Nic - You are one smooth guy. :) I *rarely* have had men flirt with me. I'd probably turn beet-red if you flirted with me! :) I work in a very male-dominated industry and have to be like "one of the guys" most of time, so while I talk with men all day....there's no flirting. And (sadly) I am that woman that can be at a bar/club for hours and NOT get hit on the entire night. Maybe I *should* go to Ohio and have some of that water! LOL

Lahaina HI
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Believe me... not every man has it, or knows how to do it. I love a good flirt!!

Visalia CA
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Thanks Gwen, I appreciate the compliment. To me, flirting is just friendly conversation with a little extra....an extra second of eye contact, a little pause before releasing a handshake or a hug. The compliments become a little more personal. On a regular date you might say, "Your hair is really pretty" so instead you say, "I would love to run my fingers thru your hair" or "I can imagine how nice your hair would feel on my skin". Without going overboard, turn off that little filter in your brain that stops you from saying something like, "That's a really pretty bra I see peaking out there".

But really, it isn't what you say. It's the look in your eye, the smile on your face and the tone of your voice that will convey the message.

Poland OH
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Nic, you need to teach a class... Flirting 101. I know there are a few others on here who could also teach. ;-)

Visalia CA
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When I have a new couple coming to a party I tell them to imagine it is just like any other cocktail party except you can dress sexier and say all those things you had to keep to yourselves in the "vanilla" world. It's the same when meeting a new couple for the first time. You can talk about the silly emails you get on the site, the hot pics you saw on a profile that turned out to be from a porn site, maybe a funny meet that didn't go well. If the attraction is there, the conversation will naturally progress to more suggestive subjects. One good ice breaker is to ask how each of you got started. That usually brings up stories of pillow talk that turned into talking about fantasies (share one as you tell the story) and how you transitioned into actually joining the site and meeting your first couple.

In other words, normal conversation with a sexy slant that progresses to flirtation. Or you can come to Ohio, there is something in the water here that makes all of this quite natural.

;^D

Poland OH
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I'm extremely shy and meeting people in this sort of situation is super hard for me. (What's funny is that I'm in theatre and I am waaayyy more comfortable in front of a big room of people.)

I just have no clue what to say. Do we small talk about the weather or local politics for a while first or jump right into "do you do anal?' as soon as we all sit down?

I guess we'll eventually figure out "our style".

But the whole "secret phrase" or "secret gesture" thing just seems so...so...IDK. The couple I was talking about in the original post kept doing stuff like that. I found it almost irritating. Like..."Ok, so..we're not in your secret club. Yeah, I get it."

Lahaina HI
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What happens if I win or lose? ;-)

Visalia CA
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TOPIC: How to handle an odd situation