How picky: Swingers Discussion 201891101

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TOPIC: How picky

Created by: Meta Original Starting post for this thread:
Hello all, been lurking in the forums, decided to make a post on something I have not seen yet. We are new to the lifestyle, have had NO experience in this before. We both know what we want, the issue we are running into is how picky should we be for our first encounter? Being newbies we got hit with non stop mails from "experienced" people during our time on the "new members near you" banner, but most of them seem to just want to have a quick "meet us at the hotel and we'll fuck", and we are not sure we are looking for that from the site just yet. That kind of thing we feel would be more fun if it happened at a party, rather than planning it out. Is it better to hold out for what we REALLY want for our first time, or just take whats available so we can get some experience under our belt?

Created by: Meta
Original Starting post for this thread:

Hello all, been lurking in the forums, decided to make a post on something I have not seen yet.

We are new to the lifestyle, have had NO experience in this before. We both know what we want, the issue we are running into is how picky should we be for our first encounter? Being newbies we got hit with non stop mails from "experienced" people during our time on the "new members near you" banner, but most of them seem to just want to have a quick "meet us at the hotel and we'll fuck", and we are not sure we are looking for that from the site just yet. That kind of thing we feel would be more fun if it happened at a party, rather than planning it out.

Is it better to hold out for what we REALLY want for our first time, or just take whats available so we can get some experience under our belt?

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User Details are only visible to members.	Spanky, you've expressed your "competition" theory all over the forums. As for the other stuff I mentioned, you should know what I was talking about, because you have said each and every one of those things. Certainly you haven't forgotten; I'm the old fart whose memory is supposed to be slipping.
San Quentin CA			Username hidden (8604 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Spanky, my post was clear.
Avondale LA			Username hidden (4496 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Ahoy-if I seriously viewed getting laid as a competition I would have conceded loss to you a long time ago my friend. As far as the others go I have, absolutely no idea what you're talking about.
Saint Clair Shores MI			Username hidden (228 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	My manners are just fine! thanks for asking :)
Colts Neck NJ			Username hidden (12285 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	hey now, what happened to everyone's manners? lol. ------ Welcome to the forums Willing4fun! :) "We are new. We have both said we will not "take one for the team" but how do you tell someone " no thank you"? We have been notified by some but have not met anyone face to face. We put accurate pics of both of us on but find not everyone puts up the man. Help! " Willing, there are alot of threads about this subject so do look around, but the short answer is very simple. You say it exactly how you asked that question. Get very comfortable saying "No thank you" if you like to be polite. There are many other ways to say 'No' politely too. When men I have no attraction to approach me at a club, I have often said,"Oh thank you, but... we have other plans, or ...Oh thank you, but no, not tonight," etc... and i excuse myself. No one has to know why I don't want to play with them. It's really not their business unless you 'want' them to know. Sometimes I have no intention on playing at all, but hubby is free to, so I just say 'No thank you, I'm not playing tonite.' I think one of the hardest thing to learn in the LS for me was/is to not hurt someone's feelings, but not only does it seem to get easier with time, everyone hears no from someone and says no to someone. I think it's pretty much expected and I just try to do it as soon as possible. Always remember ....that you should ALWAYS say NO whenever you want, whether in an email, club or even mid playdate. and No means No. Best of luck to you ! ;)
Kunkletown PA			Username hidden (2981 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I imagine there are a slew of critters in the animal kingdom who think and behave like Spanky. Turn on National Geographic channel some evening and watch how indiscriminate the male baboons are when it come to copulating. Heck, many of them will even attempt to fuck other male baboons. One can only imagine it's done in a hedonistic, no standards manner designed to enjoy his baboon freedom from oppressors like Fundies and chimpanzees.
Avondale LA			Username hidden (4496 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Spanky, I haven't paid much attention to your posts until recently, but from those, anyone can easily glean several things: You make demeaning and insulting comments about women. You project a vibe of desperation to get laid, and view it as a "competition." You have whined about the plight of single males, and feel the need to "advocate" for them (us?). Add to those facts a few weird comments you have made (e.g., your support of incest, bestiality, and drug dealers), and it shouldn't come as a surprise that people are going to have a little fun at your expense. But I agree with Deb that you seem to be good at shrugging it off, so that's cool.
San Quentin CA			Username hidden (8604 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Rdy2—thank you for opting to take my plaintive statements on their face value (the way they were intended to be taken) and in their proper context instead of contorting, deliberately misconstruing, taking out of context, etc like some here because it satisfies some sort of narcissistic tendency to tell themselves what a scumbag I am and how much better they are than me. It’s so stupid really, I’m a little crude admittedly but aside from that, I think the substance of my sentiments are widely shared. Seduction—as far as I’m concerned, there is probably a fundamental difference between how we view sex. I would say mine is more deeply rooted in hedonism (since I don’t need to be especially attracted to someone to seal the deal) but to the vanilla outsider, you’re a sexual deviant for your own participation in this lifestyle. Furthermore, I don’t think your opinion of me has any more merit than those of fundamentalist Christians and such who would attack both of us. You have absolutely no idea how I interact with my dates and I don’t know what on earth gives you the idea that I say anything to get laid. If anything, my statements here would indicate that I might actually be perceived as putting my foot in my mouth and, in the process, ruining an impending play date in favor of honesty and not censoring myself. But by all means you are free to continue standing on your self-righteous pedestal and judge me on some superficial criteria such as my usage of the word “substandard” or for my view that I think some physical flaws (I can hear the thought police Gestapo coming out now!) are worth overlooking in my search for dating and playing.
Saint Clair Shores MI			Username hidden (228 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	OMG, it finally hit me. For days after reading his posts, I was bothered what he reminded me of, but couldn't put a finger on. You know how boys are in high school and college? they'll tell you anything that they think you want to hear in order to get into your pants... that is exactly what he reminds me of. Anything to get laid.
Colts Neck NJ			Username hidden (12285 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I am by no means trying to change him or his mind. We'll never meet. What we seek from swinging is not what he can provide. I just pity the women that wind up with him. Just think about their self esteem, do they even have it to wind up with his kind?
Colts Neck NJ			Username hidden (12285 post)

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TOPIC: How picky