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How about a giving up thread : Swingers Discussion 2069161021
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FORUMSGeneral DiscussionsGetting StartedHow about a giving up thread
TOPIC: How about a giving up thread
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"But if you've gone to the trouble to meet another couple, and they've picked the restaurant, you might be disappointed if it's a vegan menu."

True, outdoors, but that's why early open and clear communication is essential. We would never intentionally mislead a full swap couple by not disclosing our preferences since they absolutely have a right to pursue the kinds of partners and activities they want. There's no sense in wasting anyone's time if we end up at odds with each other over this, ruining a potentially good evening for everyone.

Sheboygan Falls WI
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Losamantes' analogy is a good one, about expecting meatless fare at a McD's . They have 10 or 12 breakfast entrees, and every one of them features pork.

This is analagous to a swing party where everyone is expected to have intercourse with a stranger. In my opinion, that would be a dumb swing party, just as McD is a dumb restaurant: they could offer at least one meatless breakfast, but they don't.

I presume almost every sexual encounter starts 'soft', and if it's pleasant, proceeds to harder stuff. At a party, anyone should enjoy the softer play, and have what fun you can get.

But if you've gone to the trouble to meet another couple, and they've picked the restaurant, you might be disappointed if it's a vegan menu.

Flat Rock NC
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Well said, Doc_n_Janine! We, too, are soft swappers and very comfortable with the boundaries we have established for ourselves. Certainly if we were full swap we would get a lot more action, but we are satisfied with the playmates we've found - and continue to find. We have also discovered that just because others are full swap, it doesn't mean they always insist on fulfilling their own fantasies. We are very clear about being soft swap in all of our correspondence and in face-to-face meetings if the conversation seems to be heading toward the topic of sex. Some people have been disappointed and walked away, while others were interested enough to set aside their desire to have intercourse with new people and play within our limitations. At all the parties we've attended we always knew we would be having a good time, even if it was "only" with each other.

Sheboygan Falls WI
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Hope we didn't come across as criticizing your play preferences; we respect yours as we would expect others to respect ours. Just trying to make the point that if you're a vegetarian, McDonalds is probably not the best place grab dinner. Even if you like eating the pickle and licking the ketchup off the beef patty, it still might not sound like a good time to many potential dinner companions.

Virginia Beach VA
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Perhaps a sabattical to gain perspective is exactly what you need. Liz and I have taken our fair share. In 14yrs together we've been open for roughly 8 of them.

Toledo OH
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Have to agree with the other posters. SLS is really a swapping site, if you're tame or moderate your options would seem to be somewhat limited here. We were tame our first year in the lifestyle and got little action here. We did a lot better at parties and M&G's (they didn't know we were tame until it was too late, lol!). As to your original question, since becoming full swap we have not had any problems meeting qualtity couples here on SLS. Some soul searching might be in order; look at other profiles and see if you're on the same page play wise, if not, maybe another site would be more effective for you.

Virginia Beach VA
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Doc_n_Janine- I think we all go through periods where we step back from the LS. It might be because our professional or personal lives are in need of more attention or because we aren't finding what we're looking for here or a myriad of other reasons. I recall y'all posting about your frustrations finding couples open to soft swap. I honestly think we all get annoyed by the search for what we want. It happens whether you're a couple, SM, or SF, regardless of age, location, and looks. I hope that you continue to communicate with the people who you've enjoyed and perhaps attend a house party or M&G. Please continue to participate in the Forums.

Pittsburgh PA
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true that. I do put out a hard exterior. In swinging as in my professional life I do tend to present an exterior that exudes all confidence and no fear at all times. But I do have feelings. I have feelings and I am a sensitive person and I care about what others think of me. I will give it to her though. I emailed her discreetly and she answered me back like a grown ass woman. She did not become upset or hypersensitive, she explained her side. I appreciate and respect her for that very much. I am always honored and pleasantly surprised when a person comes to me like a grown woman and not an 8 year old on the playground.


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Yes Shell some people do seem to enjoy whining. And yes I will agree with you some women can't stand other women paying attention to their man. In my experience it generally seems to be the women that are mostly their for the Bi experience and don't want their man touching anyone else. I'd say about half of the club we go to is that way.

Pretty much I don't really care what the others think I go there to have fun, if they want to be drama filled that is their problem.

PG

Louisville KY
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yes, frustration can happen. I am stupid enough to think it would change. I dont know if it is a Texas thing of swingers in general thing...I'm leaning more towards Texans because the swingers in Pa. were nothing but friendly, warm, inviting and wonderful. Maybe its the fucking heat. I won't go into details because they aren't here to give their side of the story. But until I got into swinging, a section of society that is supposed to promote sexuality and sexual freedom...I never thought that it was a bad thing to be good looking and confident. It just never occured to me that these traits can be threatening to other women. Some women in swinging are fucking nasty, jealous, hypersensitive ass 5th grade children. It is sad to see a woman behave in such a manner and then blame alcohol. And I am not referring to any person in here at all. If you dont like other women being around your husband, why go to parties where there are other women? Why not stick to MFMs? You put yourself into an environment that you HATE, then you whine and complain about it. Do some people enjoy fucking whining?


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TOPIC: How about a giving up thread