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How about a giving up thread : Swingers Discussion 2069161011
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My bride requested that I weigh in.

While I am a firm believer of, each to their own. Rubbing my cock against a woman's ass without going further, is something that I didn't do in high school. I'm turning 45, no way would I find it exciting today.

If soft swing is your thing, enjoy. No one, not a single person should be telling you that you are doing things wrong. As for us? We'd break bread with you, buy you a drink, two, ten, but we wont be rubbing genitals with you. Teasing without completion is not what we're interested in.

B

Rumson NJ
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I am not bothered by the fact you're soft swing, never was . What bothered me is your implication there is something "wrong" with us because we have no desire to play with soft swingers. You feel defensive because you're feeling judge by your preference. You don't see that you, yourself judged Full Swingers for not being willing to or having no desire to play down to what pleases you. If it is wrong of me to ask anyone to play "UP" to my preference how can it also not be wrong to ask someone to play "DOWN" to yours. It would absolutely never occur to me to ask, expect or even hope that we are a special enough couple to justify hoping/expecting/asking a couple to make an exception in play their preference to accommodate our desires.......... and I think we're pretty special .

No hard feelings, you feel as you do and as you said we disagree. It was never my intent to "pick" on you but merely to voice our experience, preferences and desires. If that made you feel attacked I apologize.

Enjoy your night,

Mrs sav

Anniston AL
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Amen Inlove! We have no issue meeting those who share our desires and have zero reason to play with those that do not. Getting upset, miffed , baffled and / or condescending to those who chose to not play with you for WHATEVER reason is absurd and shows a complete lack of respect for the preferences of others .

Swinging is defined only by those doing the actual swinging. We make absolutely no judgements about what others chose to do or not do with their own bodies within the confines of their relationships.

If I'm not having fun what's the point?

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
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And then there is This to consider. . . . We have been a full swap couple since joining the lifestyle and I find it exciting to be in someone new and also to see my wife so engaged. However, we have had several play dates where one or the other of the men can't get it up for part or all of the date, or has trouble keeping it up long enough to really fuck. Sometimes that guy is me. We have found on those occasions that there is stress over that issue, and a sense of failure about the date, when, if it had not been on the table the stress would have been gone and the rest of the sexy activities would have seemed like a great time. I don't understand why this seems like a debate, however. Some people like to play one way and others another. If our play goals are different, we should find other playmates.

Danville VT
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whats funny is how as a bystander I can see both points and validations of both sides I think its about time to stop argueing and say "I agree that we disagree on the topic". We are a couple that is primarly soft swap and we have been told we are not swingers, but that does not discourage us for there are many others on here like us and funny thing is when we do meet full swappers that declined to meet us and we have ran into each other at clubs we get along and all have a great time. Many of the full swappers have become friends of ours and invite us to parties and what not. Its funny to watch someone when they meet you in person then you tell them its nice to meet you but you have already declined us on SLS because you werent interested but now that you met us you are interested.

New Braunfels TX
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Thank you RDY. The is exactly my point / "If I was only allowed to rub my johnson on a strange woman's ass cheek until I got so hot and bothered I needed to fuck something and my wife was there to recieve me into her twat for the release... I'd be ecstatic."

The above comment also makes the point very well.....I am not just a twat to be used for released. I know when Mr Sav makes love to me it is me he wants and I am comfortable enough to understand that sometimes it is not I he desires at the moment. I just feel no need nor get any pleasure from the thought of being a stunt double for your wife. I don't need "strange" anything to make intercourse with Mr Sav more exciting.

I struggle to understand what your issue is with full Swappers, it is not I who is judging you but you who seems to have some bitterness against a some full swap women you didn't get to rub your Johnson on. I truly find it odd you struggle to comprehend that nobody is missing out on anything....if it isn't to your liking than how can you miss not owning it? I am not criticizing your preference for soft Swap in the least, everyone should play to their level of comfort but I am not going to sacrifice my pleasures to accommodate your restrictions. Interestingly not all our play sessions involve Full Swap , it isn't that we goal oriented aiming for intercourse at all. The difference is we insist on the option to follow whatever course seems comfortable and right without sexual limits placed before we even get started. It seems like common sense to me to know what you want and find couples who share the same preference. I am simply not so desperate for strange that I am willing to inhibit my style of play in order to play with ANYONE. I don't care how hot they are, how much fun they are nor how much they might want to play with us. If you expect others to make concessions for you why is it not alright for us to expect concessions from you. Do you really want to have conversations with people who are trying to convince you how wonderful it would be, just this one time it's ok to fuck strange, you're really missing out ...etc etc? Isn't it better that we each just simply respect the choice of others and seek to play with those who best suit our desires?

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
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WNC, not sure about any anology, but I just started eating meat and fish after 40 years of vegetarianism. What a pleasure it is to go to any restaurant and have the whole menu!

Danville VT
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"The idea that people can't enjoy what we have to offer because it is less than what they prefer is odd."

I find it ODD you'd feel this way. It doesn't make me a bad person because I won't even consider you as a potential playmate based on your preferences.

Why should anyone settle for less than they're here for? You might be a wonderful couples, loads of laughs and fun with what you do but if what you don't do is on my list of want to do why should I lower my desire based on yours? As full swapper I KNOW that when Mr Sav is playing with another women he wants that women. The idea of him tapping me on the shoulder saying "ummm honey I really want to fuck now " is completely distasteful to me when I KNOW what he wants to do is fuck YOU. Ok so it might not happen exactly like that but that is exactly the gist of it. I am not aroused by the idea that Mr Sav has been busily playing with you , wants to fuck you , can't so he fucks me. He feels the same way, if I am all into a guy , needing and wanting penetration from him but he has a soft swap rule I've wasted my time, it isn't going to make my time with Mr Sav any hotter than it already is without playmates . I can stay home and be just as aroused or more so with Mr Sav knowing full well if I want to be fucked silly he will fuck me silly. It is ridiculous to be bother by the fact that some people won't play with you for whatever reason but most especially if the reason is you as couples are not on the same page. It isn't any different than us trying to convince you to exceed your boundaries, if you're not into it ,you're NOT INTO IT and we can and do respect that. You should be glad people decline playing with you based on honesty while respecting your play preference and being mature enough to say we simply aren't a match. You claim it is their lose , rest assured they probably feel it is you who lost. We're delightful people to have sex with ;)

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
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Scandle, we agree yet again. If this were a site where strangers connect to go out for dinner, then the meat-and-potatoes people would have an easy time meeting compatible folks. Vegetarians, being in the minority, would have a harder time.

(We are vegetarians at home, and go out for fish or seafood; not sure how the analogy holds up :)

Flat Rock NC
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I think a big part of this is in the eye of the beholder so to speak. And what you consider to be successful. Frankly if we meet one new couple a year we want to do anything with yay us. I'm more into quality. Which is why we don't swap much. If our schedules weren't so busy I would love to go to the club more. Not really to find more people to swap with but just because I find the atmosphere to be fun.

PG

Louisville KY
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TOPIC: How about a giving up thread