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How Can You Be New to the Lifestyle But Have Been a Member of SLS For YEARS : Swingers Discussion 194592
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FORUMSGeneral DiscussionsGetting StartedHow Can You Be New to the Lifestyle But Have Been a Member of SLS For YEARS
TOPIC: How Can You Be New to the Lifestyle But Have Been a Member of SLS For YEARS
Created by: mcandher
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I think many use comments like that well past their "newness" as they don't want to be seen as bed notchers. What is amusing is I've never met anyone who proclaimed themselves a bed notched nor admitted to not being highly selective. If we see a profile several years old and it states they're "Newbies" we will pass them by as either they are deep in denial, like the atmosphere but have no genuine dream of sexual fulfillment with others or one of them has been here for years and their parent finally decided to join them (red flag for us , if they both weren't into it creating a profile as a couple is deceiving unless it says ( "Just Looking Around ") I am sure there are a hundred other reasons/excuses as well. In any event it makes us leery and we tip toe away.

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
 
 
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MC ~~ Ha! and Thank You :)

To the OP: Totally agree. When I see profiles that proclaim that "we're new, be gentle," and they've been on SLS for several years, we kind of roll our eyes. Update your profile! However, I have seen a few threads in the Swingers Advice column where couples who had been on here for years were actually asking for advice on how to get "started." Some of us questioned their logic. They responded that they had been doing "kind-of" soft swap for years and were now ready to take the next step. In their minds, they were therefore "new to the LS." I don't agree. New to full swap, perhaps, but not new to the LS.

Kat

Morgantown PA
 
 
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Thanks Kat. lol...uhm...you didn't mean the one of Mr MC sitting on the toilet, did you? May we add a very impressed "wow" after having looked your pics over? :)

Richmond VA
 
 
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Wow...just perved Mr. and Mrs. MC's pics :) Very nice!

Sexy scuba pic!

Kat

Morgantown PA
 
 
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As long as everyone is enjoying themselves who cares right ? :)

Augusta NJ
 
 
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As in most cases, I try to look for human weakness rather than malice. In this instance, it's certainly possible (perhaps even likely) that one half a couple was interested in swinging before the other one was and came and posted an exploratory profile. This state of limbo could go on for years whilst the other party is being (cajoled? lobbied? gently convinced?) into the whole project. I was recently shocked to see that I had an adult friend finder ad from 2008 when the GF and I first started talking about sexual adventuring, but it took us till last year to actually pull the trigger, as it were. So I'd suspect that most people are just taking a long time to get up to speed.

Another possibility is that, even though they've got some experience, they still *feel* like newbies. I can't imagine the butterflies we both had with our one experience going away anytime soon, so that's something I related too, as well. Folks might just be managing expectations. You might expect a couple with lots of experience to take the lead, but this might just be their way of saying "we're still pretty uncertain about how this is done so we'd prefer not to take the lead" or something like that. Again, if you assume people are fallible/imperfect, not intentionally manipulative, the world is a better place to live in.

Long Beach CA
 
 
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I've always liked the line: I wasn't born in Texas, but I got here as fast as I could!

San Antonio TX
 
 
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Naahhh...You aren't being disingenuous by not telling people you're new...it's people that have had a profile on this site since, (another example...) 2004 and still say "be gentle, we're newbs." that make me raise MY eyebrows...

Richmond VA
 
 
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Should I change our profile to say we're new since we've only been doing it for 10 months?

-M

Fort Worth TX
 
 
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@sexus...(Mrs MC loves the name, btw) I figure after two years you're less than new...maybe you could say..."relatively new" lol...

We say that we're relatively new to the lifestyle, but we aren't new to sex. We're both pretty familiar with erogenous zones...and after all isn't that what's really important?

Richmond VA
 
 
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TOPIC: How Can You Be New to the Lifestyle But Have Been a Member of SLS For YEARS