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How Can You Be New to the Lifestyle But Have Been a Member of SLS For YEARS : Swingers Discussion 194592
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FORUMSGeneral DiscussionsGetting StartedHow Can You Be New to the Lifestyle But Have Been a Member of SLS For YEARS
TOPIC: How Can You Be New to the Lifestyle But Have Been a Member of SLS For YEARS
Created by: mcandher The original post for this thread was deleted.
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I think many use comments like that well past their "newness" as they don't want to be seen as bed notchers. What is amusing is I've never met anyone who proclaimed themselves a bed notched nor admitted to not being highly selective. If we see a profile several years old and it states they're "Newbies" we will pass them by as either they are deep in denial, like the atmosphere but have no genuine dream of sexual fulfillment with others or one of them has been here for years and their parent finally decided to join them (red flag for us , if they both weren't into it creating a profile as a couple is deceiving unless it says ( "Just Looking Around ") I am sure there are a hundred other reasons/excuses as well. In any event it makes us leery and we tip toe away.

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
 
 
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As long as everyone is enjoying themselves who cares right ? :)

Augusta NJ
 
 
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As in most cases, I try to look for human weakness rather than malice. In this instance, it's certainly possible (perhaps even likely) that one half a couple was interested in swinging before the other one was and came and posted an exploratory profile. This state of limbo could go on for years whilst the other party is being (cajoled? lobbied? gently convinced?) into the whole project. I was recently shocked to see that I had an adult friend finder ad from 2008 when the GF and I first started talking about sexual adventuring, but it took us till last year to actually pull the trigger, as it were. So I'd suspect that most people are just taking a long time to get up to speed.

Another possibility is that, even though they've got some experience, they still *feel* like newbies. I can't imagine the butterflies we both had with our one experience going away anytime soon, so that's something I related too, as well. Folks might just be managing expectations. You might expect a couple with lots of experience to take the lead, but this might just be their way of saying "we're still pretty uncertain about how this is done so we'd prefer not to take the lead" or something like that. Again, if you assume people are fallible/imperfect, not intentionally manipulative, the world is a better place to live in.

Long Beach CA
 
 
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I've always liked the line: I wasn't born in Texas, but I got here as fast as I could!

San Antonio TX
 
 
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Should I change our profile to say we're new since we've only been doing it for 10 months?

-M

Colleyville TX
 
 
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I, for one, appreciate blunt sometimes. It's just so much easier to figure out.

I think sometimes people don't read their own profiles. We are "new" to Texas, as it states in our profile, but NOT new to swinging. We've been here two years now, so is that not new anymore?

G.

San Antonio TX
 
 
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I've read so many profiles who expect others to be fit and take good care of themselves,"

Heehee, I have seen this as well. I had a friend, she was a bbw. I have no issues with the fact that she was bbw. What I found amusing however...was the fact that she demanded that her boyfriend be completely thin and fit. As in, if he gained weight, he was outtie...and this woman would mercilessly call her daughter awful names like fat, tell her she looked chubby in a certain outfit, etc. I asked her once....if she found it at all hypocritical, the fact that she had a belly yet criticized those around her for not meeting her fitness requirement.

This is why Jay tells me "Shells. Not everyone appreciates blunt." she got mad hahaha

San Marcos TX
 
 
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Here is a question.

What is accomplished by saying you are selective or picky in your profile?

Mount Juliet TN
 
 
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SEVERAL profiles of couples who claim to be "new to the lifestyle," but they've been members here for years.

Like I stated you can be new to the lifestyle meaning never really have been with others sexually. We hang out with people we know in the LS/ That does not mean we are seasoned swingers/

we are selective meaning we dont fuck anyone who asks at the club or emails us. Many couples and singles do. There is nothing wrong with being and saying we are selective. There is nothing wrong with being new to the lifestyle meaning sexual experiences, even though we have been here and other sites for years.

Rockaway NJ
 
 
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Arrogance and an extremely demanding profile are turnoffs.

Mount Juliet TN
 
 
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TOPIC: How Can You Be New to the Lifestyle But Have Been a Member of SLS For YEARS