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Getting friendly couple to play : Swingers Discussion 57421
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TOPIC: Getting friendly couple to play
Created by: mainlanders The original post for this thread was deleted.
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If you look in the SLS Stories regarding ...."Andy and Juliie show us the way," ....you will read of an example where a foursome set of newbies ultimately had a great time. However, we agree that we were lucky, in that the environment where we found our new friends was already within a fairly liberated setting of a nudist camp. We were approached and it took a long, long time.

We have met folks that thought, "oh, my neighbors will certainly like this idea"....watch out, you can get burned. Not everyone is going to like this lifestyle.

We see lots of "regular" friends and fantasize f they would be involved, but the odds are very dismal. Other posts are correct, check out sites like this. And, don't be surprised when you find that some of your "regular" acquaitenances, or associates, show up under other names at these sites. We found folks that had similar ages and interests. We moved forward in our getting to meet these folks and was stunned to find fellow committee members of a civic group.

Good luck.

Nampa ID
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It's a very rare occasion when anybody expects to play at the first meeting. If that ever happens, it would be at a party or an on-premises club. When we meet an experienced swinger couple, we make it very plain in advance that the first meeting is a get-acquainted meeting only, and that we will go home afterwards and talk it over for a couple days before deciding whether we are interested in taking things to the next step.

You have nothing to worry about. Just make it clear that the first meeting is only for the purpose of getting to know each other a little bit and to see if their is any chemistry among you. Let them know that your policy is never to play at the first meeting. They won't be offended. That's what most people do. If they ARE offended, then you're better off without that couple anyway.

Jim

South Riding VA
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Just a thought mainlander but we are all strangers once. The first meeting is always difficult as well as the first letter. Some people are quick with the we are not compatible. You do have to be prepared for some rejections in this life style and do not take it personally. Good luck in your search.

Chuck

Oakdale PA
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I would have to agree with Jim you should not try to convert non-swinger friends into the life style.

You may try to go to a meet and greet were you can get to know some one. They do have some swinger clubs in Germany may be a good place to start

From I read you post correctly you both are brand new. As you enter the lifestyle take it a pace that is comfortable to you both. It is not a good idea for one to just go along to appease the other you both must decide what are you limits.

It is hard to make that first step we have been in the lifestyle a year now and have met some real great people.

Are up front with the couple you wish to meet let them know that at this meeting only.

Our first date consisted of eating and then going to the other couple house. They were quite patient with us as they knew we were new.... and the waited for us the other half even showed us some toys but we did not take the hint we told them have to be blunt lol... the second meeting we did play and it was great. IN short what I am saying they took us at our speed and pace. Good luck and hope this has helped in some way Chuck

Oakdale PA
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Any ideas? Well, I think you'll find an overwhelming consensus among swingers that what you have in mind is exactly the WRONG way to go about things. Search right here on SLS for a couple whose profile sounds like they are the kind of people you would enjoy having as friends and who are physically appealing to you. Then arrange with them to meet over drinks or dinner at a restaurant with the understanding that it is to get acquainted only that evening.

Trying to "convert" existing non-swinging friends into swingers is going to backfire on you way more often than it will succeed, and then you not only lost good friends, but your reputation in your community could suffer.

I think this is especially unlikely to succeed when it's "newbies" trying to convert non-swingers.

Stick to couples who already are swingers for a year or two before you even consider trying to convert anyone.

Jim

South Riding VA
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TOPIC: Getting friendly couple to play