First meet, and tips or suggestions: Swingers Discussion 39054

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TOPIC: First meet, and tips or suggestions

Created by: ff38dd Original Starting post for this thread:
We have been checking out this site for about 2 weeks. We save our chats so that the other can see what was said. That way we can get to know the other couple without being in the chat. I never put any pressure on my wife but she is always looking at the site or who I chatted with. Well just last night she asked me "If I would like to meet another couple". Without getting too excited I said that it was entirely up to her. So, we may be meeting someone for dinner soon. I do not know just when it will happen but it may be within a week or two. I am sure it will only be dinner, but you never know. What are the chances of finding a couple on the first meet where everyone there is in tune with each other and it goes farther then just dinner? Does anyone have any ideas, tips and suggestions for our first meeting? Charlie

Created by: ff38dd
Original Starting post for this thread:

We have been checking out this site for about 2 weeks. We save our chats so that the other can see what was said. That way we can get to know the other couple without being in the chat. I never put any pressure on my wife but she is always looking at the site or who I chatted with.

Well just last night she asked me "If I would like to meet another couple". Without getting too excited I said that it was entirely up to her. So, we may be meeting someone for dinner soon. I do not know just when it will happen but it may be within  a week or two.

 I am sure it will only be dinner, but you never know. What are the chances of finding a couple on the first meet where everyone there is in tune with each other and it goes farther then just dinner?
Does anyone have any ideas, tips and suggestions for our first meeting?

Charlie

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User Details are only visible to members.	First off, meet in a neutral place if either one of you has any doubts. (Restaurant,bar,etc.) Secondly,talk about what you could really deal with your spouse doing with someone else such as sex, oral, or more. Realize that you only live once, so take advantage and go for it. If you are the jealous type, please re think what you are doing. I have had several friends who have fucked up their relationships due to their jealousy. Jeff
New Smyrna Beach FL			Username hidden (13 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Again, you plan is good, so don't change a thing. The only reason we prefer not to play on first date is that the this way the whole meeting doesn't become one big exploration of whether we are going to "do it" or not. For many people, agreeing not to play on first dates helps remove some of the tension. Part of it is the fact that the conversation can take any direction, and there is no need to "get to that point". You apparently are able to navigate the social interactions with more ease (more power to you!), so again don't change a thing if it's working for you. The only time we have played on first dates has been in situations when the other couple took the initiative to ask (eg: "so what are we doing?"). Even then we tend to decline, but there's been a couple times when everything felt right and we said to each other "why not?", and it worked out fine. Not playing on the first date usually means that the first meeting will be a little more relaxed. Playing on first dates makes things more exciting. A good argument can be made for either. We started with a firm rule never to play on first dates. Then one day we broke our own rule and realized it wasn't such a big deal, and it could be a lot of fun. Still, we tend to postpone playing until a second (and sometimes third!) meeting, and for many of the couples we've met that's also the preferred approach.
Pittsburgh PA			Username hidden (1153 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Content, thanks for your thoughts. Since we are off this week, we are meeting another couple on Monday for lunch. We are not expecting anything more than meeting them and getting to know them better. We are, as well as the other couple, very excited to meet. If we are all comfortable with each other anything could happen. My wife and I are not opposed to sharing after meeting. We feel that everyone at the table pretty much knows how they feel about each other within the first few minutes of the meet. Now we will not shake hands, hug and kiss and run off somewhere to have wild wicked sex. But if we all feel comfortable and all agree, and if a place is available, we will either make or accept the offer to go farther. Why postpone the inevitable? If the timing is right we do not want to delay the opportunity to have more fun than we could have ever imagined.
Pottstown PA			Username hidden (242 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	ff38dd, the first date you had is pretty much the kind of date we enjoy the most, except for the part about having sex on first encounter (sometimes we do, usually we don't, but that's secondary...). We've been doing this off and on for about 5 years now, and we've tried some of the other things you mention (same room, clubs, meet&greet), and they are fun but for us when it comes right down to it we like the experience exactly the way you described yours. It seems to me that you followed your instincts and that was the right thing to do. And the good news, if I can add one more thing, is that the excitment of being with that first couple will repeat itself all over again every time you meet a new couple!
Pittsburgh PA			Username hidden (1153 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Thank for your words of encouragement. It really means a lot. We have chatted with or mailed so many teriffic people in SLS. If just half or our experiences are as great as our first we will never complain.
Pottstown PA			Username hidden (242 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	ff38, I'm so glad your first time was what you wanted it to be. Seems to me, you did exactly the right thing - you did what both of you wanted to do, no one was hurt, no one was upset. Just keep that attitude, you'll be fine!
Shadyside PA			Username hidden (319 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	How did it go? Part 2 There was one couple that contacted us first and said that if we needed any help they were willing to help in any way. I asked them several questions even before my wife asked me if I wanted to meet another couple. I contacted this couple to see if they were interested in meeting us. They were so we exchanged phone numbers. My wife and Jeff talked on the phone several times before we met. I think that really helped loosen her up. He was very nice and excited to meet her. Jeff's wife and I never chatted or talked. A few days before we were to meet I emailed her to express how excited I was to meet her. She was very happy to hear from me. We could not have found a better couple for our first encounter. They were experienced and we were not. We were both excited and very nervous about meeting them. Remember, up to that day I have never kissed, been naked with, had oral sex or made love to any other woman. My wife and I both agreed that since we came that far, if the other couple were interested in having sex that night, we would "go for it". Now not meaning to sound like sex sluts, but we felt that we were really ready to do this. We met at a pub at their choice. I bought a corsage for each of the ladies. I pulled them out and my wife said "aren't you going to pin it on me"? I said no and I think Jeff should pin it on her. Jeff's wife agreed with my plan. Jeff pinned the flower on my wife and I did the same to Jeff's wife. I was so nervous to even do that. We talked for about an hour. We felt very comfortable with them. Their house was not available so we asked them if they wanted to come back to our home. They agreed and Jeff suggested we swap partners for the half-hour drive to our home. That is exactly what I thought we should do. One reason is that it was night and at least one person in each car knew the way. Another reason was for us to get to know the other partner a little better. It was a great plan. I felt so comfortable being alone with Debbie. We talked about what may happen tonight. She was really nice to be with. We arrived at our house and my wife looked at me and said “now what do we do?” I said “I don’t know”. Earlier at the pub we said that we would prefer separate rooms for our first experience. Jeff took the lead and said that we could sit in the living room and chat and make out if it was okay. My wife said that she knew where she was going, to her bedroom. As they went away I told her “Honey, don’t hold back and don’t hurt him.” She is a “squirter “, and no it’s not pee, and earlier she told me that she was afraid that she would squirt and scare him away. That’s why I told her don’t hold back. Debbie and I went into the other bedroom. I was thrilled to undress her very slowly. At one point she started to remove her panties. I said please let me do that. Remember this was only the 2nd woman I ever did that to. I never tasted another woman’s pussy before and was thrilled to finally see what another tasted like. Every thing we did just seemed so good and right. We agreed to meet again after the busy holiday season. Even though we had our first experience, we are still new and learning. We think that we may be ready for same room swapping. We would like to attend a few Meet and Greets in the local area. We are actively seeking other couples to meet with and have a good time. For us, sex on the first date is Definitely An Option. It’s not guaranteed but we feel that in a short while you should know if you all are on the same page. If so and everyone is comfortable and in agreement then why delay the inevitable. Are we taking the right approach to the Lifestyle? Your comments and suggestions are more than welcome.
Pottstown PA			Username hidden (242 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	How did it go? Part 1 WOW, Amazing, simply Amazing!!!!!!!!! First a little background. We have been married for 32 years. We were high school sweethearts. Never strayed , cheated or did anything wild. We met a couple up in Lowell, Mass in September. Dave told me that he and his wife swing. Nothing became of it up there. After we got home we emailed back and forth. In one of his emails he had his user name from SLS. Being curious I signed up. I was chatting with and mailed back and forth with many couples. Whenever I chatted I always saved them in Word. My wife was always curious as to who I chatted with. I was just playing it cool and not pushing the issue about swinging. About 3 weeks later my wife asked me if I wanted to meet a couple. Naturally I said okay, but only if she was sure she wanted to. to be continued..................
Pottstown PA			Username hidden (242 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	After meeting many people, we prefer to say up front that we don't play on the first date. That makes things much more comfortable when meeting, and also gives everyone time to think about everything. This is important, especially if the people you are meeting are new. It's also easier if you get in the situation where you click as friends, but are not turned on by the other couple. Of course we say that and some times have clicked so well, we just headed back to our house....but we prefer to meet wen there is no pressure. We do have a code word that says we want to leave, but it is sometimes hard even then to politely leave. Also we prefer to meet for drinks rather than dinner. You can be stuck with some people for a while over dinner....easier to escape after one drink
Albany GA			Username hidden (315 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	"If I hear that, I can gently steer the conversation away from intimate suggestions. If I don't hear it, we let nature take it's course." Seems like a sensible approach to me. We always keep saying we should have some code word to communicate to each other how we are feeling, but somehow that has never been necessary (we've been swinging off and on for about 4 years now). It's very obvious to me if Ms. Content is having a good time or not, socially. If she is, it usually means that things are a go as far as she is concerned (and if she doesn't want to go too far she always finds a way to either tell me or say it out in the open). Also, we never push to have sex on first meetings. It's happened, but it's never our plan and usually our first meetings are just social. We enjoy the wait for a second meeting, and the extended build up of desire ...
Pittsburgh PA			Username hidden (1153 post)

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TOPIC: First meet, and tips or suggestions

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