First date rules of engagement: Swingers Discussion 203299101

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First date rules of engagement: Swingers Discussion 203299101

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TOPIC: First date rules of engagement

Created by: sa_interracialcpl Original Starting post for this thread:
Have you ever set out in a first swing date, got so turned on by the other couple and or single, lost your damn mind and got fucked senseless? Care to share how you dropped the ball and ended up breaking your own rules? Did ya like it or did you hate yourself the next morning?

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User Details are only visible to members.	We've never had a no sex on the first date rule. Our schedule is so hectic, that we'd never get around to playing.
Toledo OH			Username hidden (1055 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I think KindDragon said it well by calling it a Guideline. There were two times we should've listened to that intuition and not taken things further on a first meet up. It think, for us anyway, the "no play" thing is a way for us to come back home and see how each of us feels (as if we don't know each other by now...hahaha). IN some cases, it's fun to wait, it's that agonizing anticipation and flirting thing until the next meet up. I do indeed understand the chemistry thing, and that makes sense. If we all 4 had certain chemistry, then we'd probably go ahead with sex on the first meet. Maybe that was our problem: our first meet then sex experience was early on in our swing life, and prob it's a "guideline" that we should readdress now. Gina
San Antonio TX			Username hidden (6056 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I hear you sister! I can't knock sls though. Sexual wise we havent really had much luck, we have played at house parties more than anywhere else. Good people wise though, we have had very good luck on sls.
San Marcos TX			Username hidden (23661 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	so far it hasn't caused an issue for us, but honestly we do most of our meeting at the club not through this site and have done very little couple swapping in the last couple of years. So hard to find couples where everyone has an attraction! PG
Louisville KY			Username hidden (14006 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	PG, we officially have a no play on first meet rule. That is what we tell others. Our rule among Jay and I is, if there is chemistry on the first meet and we all agree there is nothing to stop us. However....we found that if we told people that we were willing to fuck on first meet...they EXPECTED to fuck on first meet. Given, we haven't played with others since Monicagate...well, thats an exaggeration lol......but its been awhile. But that is our official stance on the matter.
San Marcos TX			Username hidden (23661 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	We had the no play on first meet rule for a while. Dropped it for several reasons but the biggest one is we felt like knew right away if we were interested or not and why wait possibly weeks for a second meet? PG
Louisville KY			Username hidden (14006 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	We felt absolutely great the next day. We even discussed it with that couple over breakfast! We sorta sidestepped the whole playing by a set of rules route. We immediately felt as if a huge weight had been lifted and we were free to go with the flow. Knowing that a no play on the first date rule was in place, actually complicated what was a scheduling nightmare from the beginning. Now we only go with the flow and we don't limit ourselves so much. Our time is valuable and we make the most of it, when we feel like it!
San Antonio TX			Username hidden (6284 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Not directed at you Kind, meant the "collective you", my bad (but thanks for the response). You make a very good point; there should never be any expectation of play. If any member of the group feels pressure to play it means the member is not feeling chemistry. Most of the problems we've seen involve one spouse (yeah, usually the dude) pressuring the other to play. I may be wrong, but it seems like the "no play on first date" crowd may be feeling pressure to play when the chemistry is not there. In SA's case, it sounds like they finally met a couple they had chemistry with. How to know? SA, did you guys feel great the next day?
Virginia Beach VA			Username hidden (270 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Oh i understand your point completely. But some people just feel differently. I just think whatever works for each couple is best to do. ------ "We would be interested in hearing why you would not play on a first date if everyone had chemistry, and if you ever get the chance at a second date" ------ Not sure if you directed that to me, but I'll answer it anyway. lol. I 'would' play on the first date if everyone had chemistry, but it is clear that it is not expected. We did play once on the first date (with everyone in agreement) .... but someone ...realllllly wasnt in agreement. (not us) Had we waited for the 2nd date, we would have found that out by then and avoided a crappy encounter. It's just not a bad idea and I understand those who have chosen to have that rule. Now if I or my husband would ever follow a damn rule.... we would have that one. lol. But it is just a guideline for us and we do prefer to just meet and think about it/them. Personally, I like to try to avoid disasters since that experience. But like you said, you never know when you'll be missing out on something great and yea.... scheduling dates is difficult!! It's a judgment call for us at the time. If we think or feel something is off, we do not play.
Kunkletown PA			Username hidden (2981 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	We were soft swap for our first full year in the lifestyle (and we never broke our rule, lol). We had a very smooth and natural transition to full swap that included a lot of discussion. We came to the conclusion that we were in the lifestyle for the sex, not to make friends. If we make friends it's just icing on the cake. Soooo, if we have good chemistry on the first date, why wait? Scheduling a first date is complicated enough, we have couples that have been trying to get together with us (and us them) for over a year. We have had some fantastic experiences on first dates that we would have never experienced if we had waited. An opportunity not taken is an opportunity lost. We would be interested in hearing why you would not play on a first date if everyone had chemistry, and if you ever get the chance at a second date.
Virginia Beach VA			Username hidden (270 post)

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TOPIC: First date rules of engagement