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Fears of a new person : Swingers Discussion 206133
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TOPIC: Fears of a new person
Created by: hollymmm69
Original Starting post for this thread:
I haven't had my IM open in months but turned it on last night and ended up in a long chat with a SM who's been on the site for about 6 weeks. Despite already having two excellent certs it was clear that he had a lot of questions and concerns. The one that truly stunned me was his fear of a woman claiming rape. I must admit that I was so surprised by his "not wiling to bet my freedom on it" attitude that I was pretty dismissive.

What do y'all think? Anyone ever have similar concerns?

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stick w/ your first thoughts on that, Holly.

San Antonio TX
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Hell NO, Holly... stick with that gut instinct you had before he even said that! This lifestyle isn't the place for giving chances and "everyone has a good side". I'm the same kind of person, but have learned to listen to that inner voice.

Visalia CA
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My impression from our chat wasn't that he was typically too aggressive during sex. In fact, he preferred the woman be assertive because he wanted to be sure she "wanted it." Perhaps I should suggest Nic's idea and get it in writing...lol

From a variety of comments he made, I was left with the feeling that he was insecure and that led to a bit of paranoia. I had my "danger Will Robinson" vibe going before he made the comment about "betting his freedom on it" but I was still pretty incredulous when he did. I responded something along the lines "Oh lordy, are you seriously suggesting a woman in the LS is going to cry rape?" And he said "Damn right." I then said "Honestly, if you're someone who worries about everything or lacks confidence, we might not be compatible. I'm a caretaker personality and got in to the LS as a way for my needs to be met instead of taking care of everyone else. I don't want to be in a position where i'm always having to reassure you." He immediately closed the chat window. I laughed.

But then my caretaker kicked in and I felt like perhaps I wasn't sympathetic to his concerns and maybe they were valid?

Pittsburgh PA
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I can see how this could be a concern for a guy... especially if he has had it happen before or knows of someones that's its happened to.

oh...and "Brad"... I would love for you to ravish me!!! ;-)

Visalia CA
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I agree with both of you, he may be an aggressive type but I have also had to backpedal from meeting a couple of women because their fantasies were a little too dangerous, even for me. lol

I chatted with one woman for over a week as we planned a "kidnap/rape" fantasy. We had agreed to a contract in which she would spell out that this was consensual and were wokring on logistics when she mentioined that what she REALLY wanted was to be beaten and raped and left in a warehouse then have me text her husband the address.

Ummmm, I'm OUT!

Poland OH
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First mistake, turning on the IM LOL! We have never heard anyone voice that concern. kind of makes me wonder if he's overly aggressive and has had problems in the past. Probably best to move on. Why bother with potential issues?

Virginia Beach VA
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He sounds pretty far-fetched Holly. The only time those thoughts even crossed my mind were in connection with me fulfilling girls' ravishment fantasies.

Belle Chasse LA
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I haven't had my IM open in months but turned it on last night and ended up in a long chat with a SM who's been on the site for about 6 weeks. Despite already having two excellent certs it was clear that he had a lot of questions and concerns. The one that truly stunned me was his fear of a woman claiming rape. I must admit that I was so surprised by his "not wiling to bet my freedom on it" attitude that I was pretty dismissive.

What do y'all think? Anyone ever have similar concerns?

Pittsburgh PA
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(4449 posts)
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TOPIC: Fears of a new person