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FORUMS General Discussions Getting Started Contacting new people
TOPIC: Contacting new people
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Personalityplus wrote: <<Meeting someone online and then arranging a date in a relatively short time can be dangerous.

Wow, what kind of people have you been meeting? We have met a couple of oddballs, but nothing even remotely dangerous! We (or rather I, since the Mrs. leaves it up to me to find couple "candidates") carefully read profiles to find only those who most closely match what we are looking for, and who live within an hour's drive of us. Even then I rarely contact people, because we have enough couples who contact US, and therefore have already expressed an interest in meeting us. If their profile suggest they might be a good match, then we exchange information via a few emails, exchange pictures if they don't have any posted on their profiles, and arrange to meet for dinner, always at a restaurant, and almost always on a weekday evening after work. That way there is no chance or expectation that any "playing" will occur at the first meeting.

Although only one out of every four or five couples we meet for dinner turns out to be a couple we want to play with, there has never been the slightest hint of danger, and a restaurant is a very public place anyway. We've met couples who don't look anywhere near as nice as their pictures, which obviously weren't recent. And we've met couples who demonstrated through dinner conversation that they have some issues between them, or within their families, that we didn't want to get mixed up in. And we've met a few couples where one of them (almost always the man) was arrogant, egotistical, and a nonstop braggart, but nothing ever so bad that we ever felt we needed to get up and leave the restaurant.

So, even with the large number of couples we have met (well, dozens anyway), we've never found ourselves having dinner with any psychopaths or axe-murderers or stalkers.

Maybe that's because I work hard to evaluate profiles and ask for some information about the people via emails when contacted before agreeing to meet, if we do meet. It's better to do your screening before meeting. Even so, as I said, only about one out of every four or five couples we meet "works" for us. Usually one of us would like to play with them but the other of us wasn't interested. It's hard to find couples that we BOTH want to play with, but NONE of the people we've met have been even remotely close to what could be called "dangerous."

Maybe you're looking for love in all the wrong places! :-)

South Riding VA
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· Meeting someone online and then arranging a date in a relatively short time can be dangerous. Take time to find out who this person really is. If someone is pressuring you to get together before you are ready, this is another warning sign. If anything feels strange as you get to know this person, then it is time to back away and look for another match.

· ALWAYS meet in a well lit, populated area that you are familiar with.

· ALWAYS leave the full name and any telephone numbers of your date with someone.

· ALWAYS drive your own vehicle and do not invite them back to your house after the first date.

· NEVER allow yourself to be picked up from your house. Giving your address out to a stranger is not safe. Arrange your own transportation so that you can leave if there is any sign of trouble.

· PAY ATTENTION to everything that this person has told you about him or herself. If you find out that your date has lied about anything, this is another red flag.

· SET THE CONDITIONS for your date and do not let the other person change them. Remember, you really do not know someone until you spend time with them in person.

· Be smart and be safe. Take control of your future. Know what you are getting into before you invest your Body , Heart, money , your life . Information is the key.

Ocean Shores WA
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We are new to the life style and we are not sure what to say to someone that we find interesting. We don't want to come off as to pushy, sleazy, or just plain weird. When someone contacts you with first e-mail what peeks your interest and what totally turns you off. We have sent out e-mails and not sure if we are offending people with what we say or maybe we are just boring. Any suggestions?

Norwalk CA
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TOPIC: Contacting new people