Compromise : Swingers Discussion 207806

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TOPIC: Compromise

Created by: sardukar Original Starting post for this thread:
So we walk with my wife and play a little game to see how we feel about the life style..we look at couples that pass by and try figure how we feel about being in bed with them. Each time my wife likes the guy, Im not crazy about the female..and the other way around. Now if we add the fact that the attraction has to mutual on both sides it seems like a though game...should we do a small compromises...will that effect the whole thing ?

Created by: sardukar
Original Starting post for this thread:

So we walk with my wife and play a little game to see how we feel about the life style..we look at couples that pass by and try figure how we feel about being in bed with them. Each time my wife likes the guy, Im not crazy about the female..and the other way around. Now if we add the fact that the attraction has to mutual on both sides it seems like a though game...should we do a small compromises...will that effect the whole thing ?

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User Details are only visible to members.	Each time my wife likes the guy, Im not crazy about the female..and the other way around. Now if we add the fact that the attraction has to mutual on both sides it seems like a though game...should we do a small compromises...will that effect the whole thing ?" This is the most challenging part of couple/couple...esp. if you are like my picky ass and only about 5% of the genetic population are attractive to you. I am not often sexually attracted and Jay is more the guy. He does not just fuck anything with a chuckie, but he will def fuck a girl for a good personality where if he does not look good to my 2 eyeballs it is not happening most likely. This was never something we were ever really able to work out. Compromise in a sense of yeah, she/he is hot, not completely my thing but yeah its fun...thats okay. Fucking someone purely because you don't want to be the rusty wheel and ruin the fun means you look in the mirror and think i need to re-evaluate my shit. I have done it. Don't do it. It def does happen though, lots of couples have a great time with other couples, you just have to be patient and not overly picky I think.
San Marcos TX			Username hidden (23661 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Oh when I wrote the Mrs has the final vote, I meant the same thing- usually they write, I (the husband) screens, she reads the mails and reads the profile and says yes/no. We know each other so well that 99 perecent of the nos are screened out before she ever sees them. It's surprising how many single guy profiles have little or no text in them, no pictures, pictures throwing red flags, or no certs. Just as there are couples who don't want to be another couples first swinging experience, we prefer guys who have a couple good certs and have been on the site for a while.
Bensalem PA			Username hidden (788 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	We sometimes have the same problem, where we both don't click with another couple, if that is the case, trust your gut, and just remain friends. We recently broke one of our own rules, and was put in a situation where we all did not click, needless to say, was not enjoyable, will not be repeated and lost a set of friends in the process. So follow your own instinct and you should be able to tell right off, who will make a good friend or a FWB.
Shamokin PA			Username hidden (1033 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	we have been lucky in finding a few couples we hit it off with. We dont play often but when we do its a mutual agreement that we are both attracted to the other couple. As far as single males go i noticed some say the wife has the final say but with us its different. Mrs. Naughty picks the guys she likes and i screen them. I have better instincts for people than she does(Love her to death but she is a little naive at times) and i shoot down roughly 90% of them. This saves us from issues down the road. The few she plays with occasionally are respectful and considerate SM that know how the game is played. They know the rules up front and getting into the husbands good graces goes a long way. I would even consider letting her go out with a couple of them alone as they have gained my trust by thier actions. So heads up SM's learn the rules and you will probably get more action.
Delta PA			Username hidden (124 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I have never regretted taking my time to do something, I have often regretted my decision to jump into things.
Spring TX			Username hidden (1847 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	In our case I could never ask her to compromise. Finding two couples where all four are attracted, click on a personal level, and the sex is also great would be like hitting the lottery. That's why we've chosen for the most part to go with MFM threesomes; where the other guy and I make it special for her. She gets the final vote. And I know I'm always going to have a great time because I also get to be with.. the woman I married. Sometimes we'll swithch it up at a house party and I'll connect with another woman, but it's not a requirement; just a bonus. It's gotten to be really fun to see her being short circuited at both ends and the look in her eyes. ;-) Keeping your relationship strong is the most important thing. Most women I've known want to be treated specially. Asking her to compromise risks that (just my thoughts).
Bensalem PA			Username hidden (788 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	"There's loads of fish in the sea. Worst case scenario, you go home and have amazing sex with your own partner." this is how we always feel. We don't get bent out of shape about not finding couples we always have a great time just the two of us.
Louisville KY			Username hidden (13988 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	That situation happened to us at Hedo. We started chatting up a couple she liked because of their attitude and personality. I wasn't overly interested in the woman in the couple, but my wife was, and she thought the husband was fun as well (which means two strikes for me right off the bat...). Granted, I do enjoy letting her have her way with whomever she wants, so I let things progress as far as my own comfort level would allow. I never really felt like there was anything for me in that playtime and it did cause a bit of a ripple in an otherwise enjoyable evening. I felt slighted and she felt bad because I didn't speak up. we had a brief chat about it and moved on right away. No one was really to blame, but if you aren't as open as we are, it could easily lead to resentment and jealousy issues. Those are two things you don't ever want to have in the LS... If you aren't at least a little attracted to someone, say something to your partner. There's loads of fish in the sea. Worst case scenario, you go home and have amazing sex with your own partner.
Long Beach CA			Username hidden (1608 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	single hardest thing for us is to find couples where we both like both of them. And then you have to add in that both of them have to like both of us. I really don't have much advice on this but we don't compromise. We either really want to play with them or we pass. I love playing with single men and my husband loves watching me play with single men so that avenue works well for us but isn't for everyone. PG
Louisville KY			Username hidden (13988 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	One more piece of advice, some couples find it is easier to start with a single male since there just needs to be an attraction between the wife and him. Just sayin' ;^D
Youngstown OH			Username hidden (11414 post)

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TOPIC: Compromise

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