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Be honest - I would respect you more : Swingers Discussion 220148101
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TOPIC: Be honest - I would respect you more
Created by: Geekatheart
Original Starting post for this thread:
Just needed to vent. I chatted with a couple tonight (mr only) after reading their profile. I quickly learned it was more about him wanting me to tell him sex stories than actually meeting us as a couple. Would have liked honesty in the beginning. Since Im a newbie maybe I shouldnt expect someone to say "I know our profile says one thing but this is really what we want"? Advice is certainly welcome....and just because we are new does not mean we can't see through a line...geesh lol

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We prefer to actually talk on the cell to the cpl or SM prior to meeting with them. One SM after chatting to both of us, was crass enough to ask me (female half) to "talk dirty" to him so he could jerk off! Click. End of all contact! If you can't be a gentleman on the phone, then you certainly wouldn't in person. Speaking prior to meeting will eliminate people much quicker. I have a "thing" for voices - they either turn me on or not. If the voice or accents rubs me the wrong, it's a no go. You're allowed to be "rude" if someone is crass or has pulled the bait and switch thing.

Cocoa FL
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Chatting has its place, but not a huge fan here. We'd prefer to chat with people we already know. I (male half here) can't tell you how many times that irritating ring tone has gone off only to find that it's someone who has obviously not taken the time to read our profile and preferences. It's usually a single guy or a deuce-and-a-half weighing couple, neither of whom are in our "target demographic".

Once in a blue moon, a couple who looks like a possibility will pop in, and I have no trouble chatting them up, seeing what they're like, etc. But it's pretty rare.

Agree with the post about meeting. Much easier to ask someone to meet up at a M&G rather than meeting one on one. We do both, but have had our share of no-shows. The advantage of the M&G is that we were going anyway and have others we can socialize with, so if you don't show up, no harm. And there are plenty of couples who don't show and we never hear from them again. Such is life in the lifestyle.

Tempe AZ
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Sometimes we chat online just because it gives us something fun to do. Most of the time, it's with people *thinking* about coming to Maui for a vacation and want to know what the lifestyle is like here or things they should do or see when here.

Sometimes we'll chat to arrange a time and place to meet.

Chat is fun. We don't take it very seriously.

Lahaina HI
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"Just curious -- why would it be better to dress up and go out to meet someone, perhaps driving a major distance, when you can often disqualify that possibility online? "

Why wastes hours, days or even weeks getting know someone on line only to meet them and realize you have zero chemistry? Or They're nothing like they portrayed themselves to be. Sitting behind a keyboard one can be anything they type as many have learned. Even a few people here in the forums confess to be shyer , more outgoing, more or less sarcastic , more or less confrontational. etc. I figure meeting saves time. We don't need a pen pal, we don't engage in sex chat, don't want to swap "dirty" pictures and I'm not really interest in your fantasy until and if only I am sexually interested. If I like your profile/ photos , you like our profile/photos, we both think we might be compatible what more is there to say over the internet? I'll get to know the real you over drinks I don't need the fluff BS most IM'ers seem to want to indulge in. It's all good, whatever works for you but we're a cut to the chase couple. If we're interested we set up a meet if they make excessive excuses, delay, postpone or cancel well we've saved a lot of time and simply call "NEXT"...no big deal. An exception to this rule is people I talk to in the forums, obviously we can't meet this week and most of them aren't of sexual interest to us nor we them so this is one venue I will communicate endlessly with people in the hopes of someday meeting most of them. Locals? Oh hell no !

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
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We go to a club and now a meet and greet event. Rather than meet a couple somewhere for a drink, we invite them to come over and say hi at the next attendance.

It's low pressure and we were going to be there anyway. Doesn't work out? That's ok , there are other couples around for all if us to chat with or move on to.

The Wife

Denham Springs LA
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Just curious -- why would it be better to dress up and go out to meet someone, perhaps driving a major distance, when you can often disqualify that possibility online?

The OP says he "quickly" figured out the other party wasn't worth meeting. Seems to me, they got off easy, without wasting much time or energy.

The SLS IM feature has been invaluable to us. We can see how people respond in real time, to real questions and suggestions. We have no desire to squander an evening, meeting someone who is not a bit interesting, or who may not even show up.

Flat Rock NC
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I agree with Losamantes. I prefer to chat after I have met. Experiences like yours are the dime a dozen ones.

The Wife

Denham Springs LA
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thanks for the responses...I am learning...sigh

Carmichael CA
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Tis a very common theme in adult dating/sex oriented sites.

I dont know how often ive been recruited to be part of a sexual scenario and had pics requested and the promise of a meeting only to realize this COUPLE is only a single male thats lookin for "get off" material to stiffen his noodle.

Im fine with fantasy or one tryin to view sexuality thru the eyes/cock of another. If fantasy is all you want then say "im wondering how youd fuck my gf/wife if i had one.........".

Glendale AZ
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Welcome to the wonderful world of chat! You've just learned why we usually only chat with people we've met in person, lol.

Virginia Beach VA
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TOPIC: Be honest - I would respect you more