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TOPIC: Bad experiences
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I don't want to label something as "wrong," but if you really do love your wife and want to share the rest of your life with her, it probably wouldn't be a good idea to play separately without her knowledge and support. If you value your marriage, don't do anything that would jeopardize it. If you don't value your marriage, maybe you should do something about THAT.

South Riding VA
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Yeah...thats what I am talking about valovers...My wife started to fall for one of her partners...and i didnt help much at the time..didnt give her the attention she needed...I made her break it off with the guy and she resented me for that for a long time...After we got our relationship back on track...she doesnt trust herself anymore and put the swinging on hold...I have been very patient...but I have a firm belief that monogomy is unnatueral...It took me many years to get my wife to start and put aside her Catholic upbringing...I would hate to have to wait another 10 years...she is the one I love and want to share this with....would it be wrong to join another couple for some threeways while I wait for her...any advice would be appreciated

St Andrews Canada
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It is very common for couples to take periodic breaks from swinging that range from a few months to a year or more and then begin again. It's not always because of a bad experience, but sometimes it is. We have taken a break a couple of times because we were swinging so many weekends that we realized we were having more sex with others than with each other and thought we should nurture our own relationship for a while.

We had a 4-couple group that partied together at least twice a month, sometimes 10 weekends in a row. That lasted for 3 years until one guy's wife and another wife's husband fell in love and started sneaking around and getting together behind their spouses' backs. When the shit hit the fan, we jumped out of swinging completely for nearly a year, as did the other couple that was not part of that disaster.

Otherwise, the only "bad experiences" we've had were when one of us tried to "take one for the team," something we never do now.

South Riding VA
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Getting back on your feet would be the best thing. There is always going to be something about everyone that you meet that is going to make you mad, or hurt. The only thing is that you don't have to keep going back. I know when I lived in Ca and met a couple that is on here it turned out really back because she was a Physco Bitch that was on meds the messed with her head. everything was good and then they turned out to "love" us. And that turned really sour. We are fine now because we made the effort to go out and meet nicer people. It all depends on who you meet really. If we were there would love to help ease the pain, but could be a little of a drive.

Clarksville TN
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i am sure that we are not the only ones in this lifestyle to have a bad experience.What I would like to know is how do you get back on track after a bad experience.Or do we just forget about this lifestyle and go back to pretending that monogamy is natural? Any body have a bad time but after a few years were able to get back on the horse again...

St Andrews Canada
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TOPIC: Bad experiences