Are we on the right path: Swingers Discussion 163735

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TOPIC: Are we on the right path

Created by: shawnmike Original Starting post for this thread:
So, the thread about what would be the best outcome got me a little nervous, because I did not see anything like what would be a best outcome for us. Here's my ideal: we meet a couple who we can hang out with for hours, go out with, or play with. We have great conversations because they are like us, but not so much that we agree about everything. The playtime is varied enough that we all learn some things about ourselves, our partners and the friends. Talking to either her or him is comfortable enough to just do on the phone without awkwardness. Perhaps there would even the ability to extend 1 on 1 sessions with each combo (but that's iffy). Lifetime friends with benefits. Again, this was the ideal, and I really don't expect that to happen, especially without some investigation, time and learning. . . BUT that is really not what I saw in the posts. Be honest. Tell me. Are we in the right place? Am I being stupid spending time here?

Created by: shawnmike
Original Starting post for this thread:

So, the thread about what would be the best outcome got me a little nervous, because I did not see anything like what would be a best outcome for us.

Here's my ideal: we meet a couple who we can hang out with for hours, go out with, or play with.  We have great conversations because they are like us, but not so much that we agree about everything.  The playtime is varied enough that we all learn some things about ourselves, our partners and the friends.  Talking to either her or him is comfortable enough to just do on the phone without awkwardness.  Perhaps there would even the ability to extend 1 on 1 sessions with each combo (but that's iffy).  Lifetime friends with benefits.  

Again, this was the ideal, and I really don't expect that to happen, especially without some investigation, time and learning. . . 

BUT that is really not what I saw in the posts.

Be honest. Tell me.  Are we in the right place?  Am I being stupid spending time here?

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User Details are only visible to members.	We have met so many great people here on SLS. The MAJORITY of our playmates have come from here. We do occasionally meet new people at clubs/events though. We have several couples who are what you describe looking for. It is possible to find that! However, if that's ALL you are looking for, then you may get discouraged as it takes time to find couples that you want to have lasting friendships with. Try not to look at each couple as potential best buds. You'll set your expectations too high and may miss out on some serious fun and who knows where that can lead! You may find that perfect couple when you least expect it. :-) Pittcouple: If you are shy, I would recommend going to a club with another couple or even couples that you've been wanting to meet. You won't feel alone and if you're having fun, you will appear more approachable. Also, my experience has been (at least at DJ's) that no one will badger you or be aggressive. When we went for the first time, we were nervous too. We just sat back and took it all in and had fun with each other. We were very quiet and reserved. Boy, have things changed since then! ;-) Once you get to know people, you're sure to have a blast! Feel free to email us with any questions.
Franklin PA			Username hidden (32 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Pitt, Lost is right on the mark! It took us a good while to get that idea, but if you approach the LS with the idea of just having fun together regardless of whatever you end up doing or whomever you may or may not be doing it with, you'll do just Fine. :) JnD
Fairview Heights IL			Username hidden (634 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Lost's advice is spot on. Go with the intention of having fun with your partner and see what happens. One of the swinger books we read early on had this advice for meeting a couple for the first time. Always choose a place that you like so if the other couple doesn't show you two can still have a good time. We like that principle - this is about fun for the two of you. Pittcouple - events are not for everyone, but they are much less threatening than we all imagined at first. We have been to numerous ones over the years and have always felt welcomed. Didn't always play, but always had a good time. I think you'll find people will sense your comfort level and respect it, they will engage you but not push you. At least that has been our experience. One of the memories I treasure was after one dance (where we had a nice time but did not connect with anyone) my wife turned to me and said "I feel more accepted at these dances than I ever did at our Church"
Ann Arbor MI			Username hidden (24 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	e kind of worried we'd be overwhelmed at a club without first knowing a couple or two that would be there." I have a suggestion...do not go with the "intent" of fucking strange......go with the intent of having fun. I was like that for a long time. I am extremely analytical and goal oriented....so initially to me, I was a swinger...and swingers swing. And when we would go to the clubs and would NOT fuck others I would be frustrated. Do not let this happen to you. Go only with the preconception that you are going to have a great time with your spouse...and if you only end up fucking your spouse you win anyway! You go, you get your dance on, you jump around and let the kid within have some fun. If you fuck others you do. If you don't you don't :0).
San Marcos TX			Username hidden (23651 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	As newcomers to the lifestyle, we've been wondering the same thing...we have heard from others on here that some of the clubs are better than using SLS, but we're kind of worried we'd be overwhelmed at a club without first knowing a couple or two that would be there. I'm guessing one of two things would happen...we'd either be so out of our element that we'd wind up not meeting anyone we were compatible with the entire evening (thus turning us off of the club experirence)...or someone would badger us so agressively we'd also see it as a turn off. While we're social drinkers on occassion, neither of us is into the "club" thing outside of the lifestyle (you know, just normal going out for drinks with friends kind of thing), so we're kind of worried the people we did meet wouldn't be socially compatible. Any advice/suggestions...maybe someone who was in the same boat as us?!
Pittsburgh PA			Username hidden (103 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Now mind you, we've met lots of awesome ass people through sls......just not many playmates. There are lots of nice people here.
San Marcos TX			Username hidden (23651 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	You might not meet that ideal couple online on here, but you can definitely meet them elsewhere, or even initially through here. We had enjoyed that ideal with a couple of couples in VA and hope for that potential here in TX. Gina
San Antonio TX			Username hidden (6048 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	I hate to say it, but this isn't the best place to find playmates, but that's not to say it can't be done. Take your time and check out the clubs as well.. At least you'll know first hand what you're getting into once you see them face to face and after they've had a few drinks. Anyone can fool ya online, it's just more likely you'll see what's coming when you're out and about mingling. We have met some wonderful folks online, but have met some less that desirable, dishonest types here as well.. It'll happen...;)
San Antonio TX			Username hidden (6267 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Be honest. Tell me. Are we in the right place? Am I being stupid spending time here?" Finding a compatible couple is hard. It is done...but it is definately the minority vs. the majority. There are great couples, do not get me wrong...but finding another couple where you connect both sexually and intellectually is a challenge. But people do it so stay positive :0)
San Marcos TX			Username hidden (23651 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Absolutely possible! We have several very good friends that fit your description. But then, we've been in the LS for about seventeen years and are long past the point of stressing over things. With time, we've accumulated some wonderful lifestyle friends. People that we dine out with, go flea-marketing with, play with, and generally share good times together. It all comes with time and being open to new things and new ideas and being willing to make new friends even if we Don't play right away. :-) JnD
Fairview Heights IL			Username hidden (634 post)

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TOPIC: Are we on the right path

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