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TOPIC: Are kids effecting your sex life, or have they in the past
Created by: Doc_n_Janine
Original Starting post for this thread:
We get up early and work long hours. By the time everything is done for the day and we get the kids down to sleep, we're good for about an hour of mental alertness. Sometimes it's less than that. Even if the idea of sex sounds like a good one as we have our clothes on, by the time we get them off we realize how tired we are and just end up going to bed to get some sleep.

Before kids, even when work seemed to demand as much from us as it does now, we still had a few hours after we got home that belonged to us, and it was so much easier to have sex if we wanted to. What used to be every other day, or sometimes every day, has dwindled down to once a weekend, maybe twice if we get lucky with time.

Who else is having the same problem, or had the same problem, and how do you or did you survive?

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We have sex almost every day that I'm in town.

Toledo OH
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We're big fans of "date night". You will only find time to do the things you make important. If you plan on a date and make plans for the evening even if it's at home after the kids go to bed & you dress up and share a glass of wine you're making it special and you're more likely to carry thru on it. If you hope to find the energy or the time you won't - it's too easy to slip into the flannel jammies and promise you'll do it "tomorrow". Turn the TV off an hour earlier or don't turn it on at all...leave the dishes in the sink for tomorrow...leave the wash undone one more day...yeah, that means tomorrow you'll have to work a bit harder but you'll be doing it feeling good from having had some awesome sex the night before. If you don't make time magic won't just happen.

Westerly RI
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ah, no 30 day challenge needed here, we have sex almost everyday already unless one or the other of us is out of town.

PG

Louisville KY
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Apparently there was a study done and a large percentage of married couples have intimate relations less than once a month!! (I go nuts if it's less than twice a week!!!) A pastor in Florida recommended to his congregation that all married couples make time for, and act on, having sex every day for 30 days. It's shown to increase the intimacy between the couple.. Mr B and I usually go 2-4 times a week, because our schedules are so out of whack, but this 30 days in a row has gotten easier!

San Diego CA
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30 day sex challenge? We basically have sex almost every day he is not traveling. Sometimes morning and night, unless one of us is not feeling well.

Louisville KY
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Kids just suck the energy out of you!!!

We have FOUR kids (15, 11, 8, and 7) and when they were little we'd put "the Babysitter" on and let them watch a movie while we had some "alone time" upstairs. Now that they're older, it's harder to pull the wool over their eyes, and yet, we're not keen on "hiding" our sex life. Don't misunderstand, we're not getting BDSM gear on and flogging each other in the living room in the middle of the day, but we're not showing our kids we're ashamed of our sex life. It's important that kids see that their parents are affectionate with one another, we can only hope that once they're mature and in a stable relationship, they have the same great love life we do.

As for finding time when you're exhausted, we scheduled "Hump Night Date Night." We give the kids dinner early, then we would do bath time and read books and tuck the kids in, while the other partner "dolls up" for date night. We cook a meal together (or make antipasti trays), enjoy a bottle of wine, and enjoy some carnal pleasure, even if we're exhausted. YOu know you always have a good time, it's just getting the energy up to play!

We've also been doing the 30 day sex challenge! The first week was a blast, the second week got a little harder with our busy schedules, but we found we were looking forward to getting intimate with our partner throughout the day, so when the time came to climb into bed, we were energised enough to have a great romp!

Good luck! And remember: They do grow up, and eventually move out! LOL

San Diego CA
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Hey, our kids were a result of our sex life. Lol who would of thunk it.

Dumas TX
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YES!

Oh did I say that so loudly and firmly? I meant HELL YES! Oops, again so much emphasis there.

We certainly are not exploring swinging to fix anything in our relationship but it certainly is a time where I find myself devoting my thoughts and energy to being a woman and being sexual. I find I have to literally work to make that happen for me.

My husband finds it frustrating when we can't get private time but he doesn't disconnect the way I do when I am so focused on work and the domestic.

I wish everyone luck and sucess in finding even a few hours to attend to the needs of the mind, body and spirit and a few places we won't mention. Wait, those are attached to the body. OMG, I have mentioned them. ;)

Here's to being adults and remembering sex is good!

The Wife of the Us

Denham Springs LA
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Even at 49 and with an empty nest the kids manage to affect my sex life. My place in the woods by the sea is near-silent and whenever one or more of my boys comes to visit, no matter what the sleeping arrangements are in the house, everyone can hear everyone. In order to keep the usually-vocal Ms. M from getting too loud, we go very, very slow, communicate through facial reactions and soft but long moans. It is all very sexy and it could be argued that the kids have a positive effect on our sex life. But when they are gone and we can walk around naked and Ms. M really lets loose, that is when I am happy for the empty nest.

Amherst Canada
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YES..

we have 2 kids 8 year old and 1 year old..if the little one decides to sleep the big one will decide not to ..and the other way around. We don't really have anyone to help so its just us. Besides we both work and leave home at 7:30 to see each other at 7:00pm ahem..this lifestyle is tough..not sure how to handle the other lifestyle..but we are not there yet.

New York NY
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TOPIC: Are kids effecting your sex life, or have they in the past