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Anyone else get annoyed by this : Swingers Discussion 1767101021
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TOPIC: Anyone else get annoyed by this
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NIC, FWIW i agree as well. this sneaking in to check the email is bullshit. they should definately do away with that feature and force people to grow the fuck up.

and besides, what would you say, maybe 5% of the people on sls haven't figured it out themselves or at least been told by someone else how to do it? who do they really think they're fooling?

as far as i'm concerned, it's insulting. much worse than reading and not responding. it's like saying, "not only are we not interested, but we want to make sure you understand just how uninterested we are."

of course you read it, you're just a jackass. LOL (insert smiley face here!)

Orlando FL
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You are 100% correct Mrs. Sav, be who you are or you will find yourself chasing after someone else's ideal "you".

And let's not forget, the reason they give may just be a convenient excuse. Telling you they preferred less pubic hair may have been easier than coming out and saying they weren't attracted to you. For you to then offer to shave or trim sounds, well a bit desperate.

The best advice I can give is what others have already stated, don't take the lack of response personally and if they do reply with a no, leave it alone. No need to ask why, just move on the the next person or couple who just may say yes.

Youngstown OH
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"Most recently someone told us we had too much pubic hair for their tastes. We can trim up and shave for a playdate if need be, we just like it natural for each other."

If you like it "nature for each other" why oh why would you change that to fit someone else s agenda? We are a what you see what you get couple, I'm not going to change or adapt myself to accommodate someone elses preference.The world is a big place , accept people as they are or move along and in turn be true to yourself. Successful Swinging isn't about making yourself fit someones ideal it is about finding the right blend to create the ideal. Celebrate who you are , stand firm in your beliefs and preferences and enjoy what the lifestyle offers. If you keep trying to fit into what everyone else wants eventually you'll lose sight of what YOU want. YOU are 100% perfect to some people and more importantly perfect for each other......don't sell yourself short by trying to be something you're not. There is nothing more sexy than confidence and the conviction to stand behind your own preferences. Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
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"Hhhmmmm...... I was excited to see 30 replies since the one I put up last night. I thought to myself "that must be a ton of input on the theme". Funny how you can be so wrong sometimes. "

Actually Doc, at any given time there are 3-4 threads scattered around the forums that discuss this theme. Some feel it has been beaten to death. If some of us got off on tangents, I apologize. It's nothing personal.

Belle Chasse LA
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Well, that's a different issue altogether and I probably shouldn't have tacked that onto my last reply. Might as well adress it though... I can understand people not wanting to come right out and tell us they thought we were disgusting looking or something like that, but those are people that actually took the time to give us a simple "no" in the first place. At least they let us know we reached them and they weren't interested. If they don't write back to elaborate as to why they said "no", it's no big deal. When they do though, it's pretty helpful for us.

Most recently someone told us we had too much pubic hair for their tastes. We can trim up and shave for a playdate if need be, we just like it natural for each other. We let them know and they were more receptive, and we added that we're willing to trim or shave for playdates to our profile. Quick and simple communication... effective and polite.

Bartlett TN
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Doc , with all due respect that is exactly why many people do not send a reply at all . No one wants to tell you they find you or your spouse unattractive if that is the case, none wants to explain their reasons. The simple fact is they said No and that could be for 100 reasons you will never understand and maybe they don't understand themselves. I hate those emails asking me to explain WHY? Why do I prefer Pistachio Ice cream over Strawberry ? For whatever reason , it is their reason and really has nothing to do with you or what you should work on or change. My personal opinion is it is bad policy to ask why? someone said no and only helps to perpetuate the lack of responses when there is no interest.

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
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The "brutal" truth is this is almost always about physical attraction so those who don't respond simply don't feel the attraction necessary to want to have sex. I am not directing this at you Doc, just making the point that while we all wax poetic about how we enjoy a sense of humor and intelligence and wit, the bottom line is we aren't looking to marry each other or even date each other, we (the collective "we") just want to have hot, steamy, over the top SEX and physical attraction is at the core of that.

As to your point about the site having a preview pane that allows someone to read the email without it being marked as "read" should probably be addressed in the website forum and FWIW, I agree with you!

Youngstown OH
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Hhhmmmm...... I was excited to see 30 replies since the one I put up last night. I thought to myself "that must be a ton of input on the theme". Funny how you can be so wrong sometimes.

As far as replying to emails, the original issue was that you can only see if they've been read or not. If you see that a person has indeed read it and chose not to reply to you... big deal. Move on. You know they got it and weren't interested.

It's the emails that show "unread" that are annoying. You don't know if they got there or not, if a person read them in the preview pane, if one person of a couple has read it but hasn't shared it with their spouse, if they're interested and were just too busy to be able to write a decent reply when they opened it up, if you should write them back to remind them you sent the email, if you'll be bothering them if you do....

The simple and polite thing to do is to just write back "not interested". For most people, that will be enough. We appreciate hearing an actual "no" if that is the case. It's two strokes on a keyboard, maybe three or four clicks with a mouse.

I understand there are idiots that will even miss that hint and still hound you afterwards. I can't speak for those sorts, although we will usually send someone another email after they tell us "no" to thank them for doing so. If they really seem like they should have clicked and their profile showcases them to be the cerebral type, we might ask them to elaborate as to why they said no, not because we feel we're owed an explanation, but because we're genuinely interested in knowing just what it is that sent up a red flag and would like to address it. We're seriously asking for constructive criticism and appreciate brutal honesty.

Most never write back to that.

Bartlett TN
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"Fun, how do you know I didn't already invite the Savs in private? "

Nice save Nic lol.

Sadly we won't be going . JK can relax and have a good time without having to worry about always trying to have the last word with me lol ;)

Besides I'd hate to have Fun and Nic in the same room and have to chose between them, never mind compete for their attentions ...looks like a lots of fun hot people attending surely it would have been a blast.

Mrs Sav

Anniston AL
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No worries.

Orlando FL
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TOPIC: Anyone else get annoyed by this