A not so random question : Swingers Discussion 210191

SwingLifeStyle Swingers Personal Ads. | SwingLifeStyle Swingers Clubs

Busy Swingers Forum

Everything you always wanted to know about swingers.

TOPIC: A not so random question

Created by: Drvingfords Original Starting post for this thread:
So my wife and I are very new to this and have meet some really great people in the last month. We are really enjoying the conversations it has sparked between us and the time we are now spending together. Please allow me to explin the experiances we have had up to this point, then get to my question. Our first experiance was month or so ago and we met a really nice couple that hae been in the lifestyle for a number of years. They invited us over to kind of give us a "walk through" of what to expect and what to look out for. After arriving at thier place and introducing ourselves, they gave us the 2 cent tour of thier house. With in 5 minutes of us being there the man stated that he was getting on the hot tub and we all followed suit. We chatted and had a few laughs and we where commfortable with the situation. he was very intrested in my wife and she was enjoying the attention. After a little pay between him and my wife he suggested that we go to the bed room and continue. Up to this point, his wife didnt much look at me or my wifey. her husband told me to just start rubbing on her and lightly kissing her and that she would come around, that never happend. She literly laid there the hole time and didnt move hardly at all. Mean while he was having all the fun he could with my wife until they had both finished. At that point I just gave up and we went home. The odd thing is before and after the fun, she was very talkative and seemed to be having a good time. Durring the fun, she was a corpse. Our second encounter was last Friday night. We had meet this couple previously for a meet and greet over dinner and we all had a great time. They where both very talkative and we seemd to be more than comfortable with eachother. We invited them over for dinner and explained that ther ewouldnt be much in the way of sex as my wife was, shall we say being visited by mother nature. They didnt have an issue with that and thought some light play would be fine if anything. So, after dinner and a few drinks we sat in the front room to talk and whetever. In just a few minutes he had my wife rubbing him through his jeans and I was giving her a back rub and everything seems to be going fine. She had me in her mouth very breifly and wifey was talking good care of him. Well, after he popped, I continued to rub her back, legs, ass and her and wifey kissed and everything was good. After a few more minutes ot that, she sat straight up, said "I'm done". She went to the bathroom to get dressed. I asked her husband what was going on, all he said was "your just too nice". When she came out of the bathroom, they left. Keep in mind that she was pretty drunk. Please keep in mind that we are not a pushy couple. I feel that if she isnt enjoying it, is not comfortable or what have you there really is no point in it. So my questions are this, Is it normal for the women to just kind of play like they are having a good time so thier husbands can get off? Is it possible that the last couple just dont talk to eachother too much? Or did I just flat do something wrong? should I be less of a "nice guy" (not going to happen but...)? We are just looking for advice, what to look for to avoid these kind of people etc. Sorry it was so long and thnks for reading.

Created by: Drvingfords
Original Starting post for this thread:

So my wife and I are very new to this and have meet some really great people in the last month. We are really enjoying the conversations it has sparked between us and the time we are now spending together. 

Please allow me to explin the experiances we have had up to this point, then get to my question. 

Our first experiance was month or so ago and we met a really nice couple that hae been in the lifestyle for a number of years. They invited us over to kind of give us a "walk through" of what to expect and what to look out for. After arriving at thier place and introducing ourselves, they gave us the 2 cent tour of thier house. With in 5 minutes of us being there the man stated that he was getting on the hot tub and we all followed suit. We chatted and had a few laughs and we where commfortable with the situation. he was very intrested in my wife and she was enjoying the attention. After a little pay between him and my wife he suggested that we go to the bed room and continue. Up to this point, his wife didnt much look at me or my wifey. her husband told me to just start rubbing on her and lightly kissing her and that she would come around, that never happend. She literly laid there the hole time and didnt move hardly at all. Mean while he was having all the fun he could with my wife until they had both finished. At that point I just gave up and we went home. The odd thing is before and after the fun, she was very talkative and seemed to be having a good time. Durring the fun, she was a corpse. 

Our second encounter was last Friday night. We had meet this couple previously for a meet and greet over dinner and we all had a great time. They where both very talkative and we seemd to be more than comfortable with eachother. We invited them over for dinner and explained that ther ewouldnt be much in the way of sex as my wife was, shall we say being visited by mother nature. They didnt have an issue with that and thought some light play would be fine if anything. So, after dinner and a few drinks we sat in the front room to talk and whetever. In just a few minutes he had my wife rubbing him through his jeans and I was giving her a back rub and everything seems to be going fine. She had me in her mouth very breifly and wifey was talking good care of him. Well,  after he popped, I continued to rub her back, legs, ass and her and wifey kissed and everything was good. After a few more minutes ot that, she sat straight up, said "I'm done". She went to the bathroom to get dressed. I asked her husband what was going on, all he said was "your just too nice". When she came out of the bathroom, they left. Keep in mind that she was pretty drunk.

Please keep in mind that we are not a pushy couple. I feel that if she isnt enjoying it, is not comfortable or what have you there really is no point in it. 

So my questions are this, 

Is it normal for the women to just kind of play like they are having a good time so thier husbands can get off?

Is it possible that the last couple just dont talk to eachother too much?

Or did I just flat do something wrong? should I be less of a "nice guy" (not going to happen but...)? 

We are just looking for advice, what to look for to avoid these kind of people etc. Sorry it was so long and thnks for reading.

GoTo Page: 1 2

1 to 10 of 11

End

User Details are only visible to members.	"Gut feelings" are priceless! Always right on target!!!
New Orleans LA			Username hidden (2721 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	You'll learn to trust that "gut feeling". I've always been the kind of person to give everyone a chance and sometimes even a second chance... not in this Lifestyle. I learned real fast to trust that intuition... even through email.
Visalia CA			Username hidden (4124 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Thanks for the help guys. We have met a couple more couples since and they have been great. ONe of the couples we have had fun with, other than dinners, movies and hanging out. The other is still a work in progress but it has been really fun to get to know these folks.
Arlington WA			Username hidden (5 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Drvingfords, Frank the GBE is an inside joke between some long-time posters, that's all.
Panama City Beach FL			Username hidden (1930 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Been in the lifestyle many years. Sex on the first meeting is often a let down for someone. We have found that if you start off slow, get to know the other couple and then decide if you want to go farther. Yes you invest a lot more time but you can make some great friends. Often they have friends too, that's when the time investment pays off and the sex gets a bit crazy.
Marshall TX			Username hidden (18 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Who' Frank the GBE? What is a GBE and how do I get in touch with him?
Arlington WA			Username hidden (5 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	The first gal we just talked to the husband and then her in person when we met. The second gal, I spoke with the husband to plan our meeting place for dinner. At dinner we all talked and she had as much input as her husband did. When we parted ways after dinner she gave me a kiss and told me that we where going to have a very good time. I took that as a good sign. Maybe I was wrong and she is just playing into her husbands hand?
Arlington WA			Username hidden (5 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	When you meet, do you communicate with these women in writing or do you actually speak with them?
Colts Neck NJ			Username hidden (12248 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	TotalBabe, thanks for taking the time to put your thoughts down and for the advice. I have been going over the situations in my head from start to finish. A few things you mentionsed did ring a few bells for me. We are very new to this and some of the BS guys out there I have been able to pin down and stay away from. Unfortanatly, I dont know all the tell tail signs yet, but I am learning. I have been scanning the forums for any info and advice I can find on being new. However, I dont have a ton of time to sit down and scan past all the jokes and what not to get to the meat (not that there is anything wrong with having a few laughs in the forums). I will continue to keep an eye out for the signs and new ones as well. Again, that you for taking the time. BTW, my wife asked me to tell you that you username is VERY fitting.
Arlington WA			Username hidden (5 post)

User Details are only visible to members.	Drvingfords, welcome to the forums! If you happen to have time to browse through the forums, you will find many different variations of these situations being described. Anyway... I am afraid, that your experiences happen too often. You are not the first ones to ask these questions, and probably not the last ones, either. Here are some facts you had missed; just chalk it up to being new, and try to avoid those: - You mention, during your second experience, the wife of the other couple was pretty drunk. STOP! Hopefully you will see for yourselves, that being drunk is NOT the way to do it. Happy buzz, yes, but nothing beyond that. You will see. - During first encounter, you mention, the wife of the other couple was all chatty before and after the fun, but dead body during the fun. What fun? Was that fun? Anytime it stops being fun, pack up and leave. Literally! Hey, that drunk woman from your second encounter did say, "I am done" and the couple left... - For your first encounter, you say you met an experienced couple, and you went to their place. Then you go to say, "...after introducing ourselves..."... So wait: did you go to their home for the first date? Hey, some people do that, and that is cool. For newbies, though, I think it is safer to meet at a public place, with clarificatiion of no play on the first date. I mean, you were tricked into play by the husband of the experienced couple. Were you really ready to play, or did you just kind of follow suit, not being sure, what to do? - You say, you met some great and nice people. Not so cool after actually meeting them, huh? What I am saying is, some people claim that they do not want to e-mail forever, and that is fine! I am simply finding, that through multiple e-mails, I am kind of "probing" my potential play partners for compatibility. The more I know, the better it gets for me. Please note, that is the way I go about meeting people. I am not telling anyone to do it the same way. It works for me, that's all. Just to elaborate a little bit more, my single female friend complained to me the other day, how often she gets stood up. Me? I got stood up only once... By a SF, of all, lol. In addition, it is usually very useful to make it clear, that first date is only to meet without any play. This way, there are no expectations. It will take a little time to fine tune your BS meter. My bottom line: if anything feels off, whether or nor it makes sense to anyone, I am not proceeding. End of story. I wonder if there were warning signs in these people's emails, like husband only corresponding with you. And, to finally answer those questions you posted, from what I am reading, from the stories I hear, yes, there are wives out there who are strung along by their husbands, and they just put on a show, sort of suffer through it, for their husbands' enjoyment. Not my cup of tea, though. There are couples who don't communicate well. There are couples, where one will follow along, even though he/she is not attracted. Sometimes you find that out when you are naked! Well, although it may seem like an unthinkable thing to do, anytime there is something wrong, the best thing to do is leave. Right then. And then talk to each other to try to figure out, what were the telltale signs you have missed. From my experience, the signs are always there, sometimes we see them, and sometimes we don't... Every experience, good or bad, is a learning, useful experience. You will find yourselves constantly evolving and changing and learning yourselves. Don't be afraid of that. Just follow your gut. That thing is never wrong :)
Panama City Beach FL			Username hidden (1930 post)

GoTo Page: 1 2

1 to 10 of 11

End

TOPIC: A not so random question

		HELP
FORUMS: General Discussions: Getting Started: A not so random question