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A not so random question : Swingers Discussion 210191
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FORUMSGeneral DiscussionsGetting StartedA not so random question
TOPIC: A not so random question
Created by: Drvingfords
Original Starting post for this thread:
So my wife and I are very new to this and have meet some really great people in the last month. We are really enjoying the conversations it has sparked between us and the time we are now spending together.

Please allow me to explin the experiances we have had up to this point, then get to my question.

Our first experiance was month or so ago and we met a really nice couple that hae been in the lifestyle for a number of years. They invited us over to kind of give us a "walk through" of what to expect and what to look out for. After arriving at thier place and introducing ourselves, they gave us the 2 cent tour of thier house. With in 5 minutes of us being there the man stated that he was getting on the hot tub and we all followed suit. We chatted and had a few laughs and we where commfortable with the situation. he was very intrested in my wife and she was enjoying the attention. After a little pay between him and my wife he suggested that we go to the bed room and continue. Up to this point, his wife didnt much look at me or my wifey. her husband told me to just start rubbing on her and lightly kissing her and that she would come around, that never happend. She literly laid there the hole time and didnt move hardly at all. Mean while he was having all the fun he could with my wife until they had both finished. At that point I just gave up and we went home. The odd thing is before and after the fun, she was very talkative and seemed to be having a good time. Durring the fun, she was a corpse.

Our second encounter was last Friday night. We had meet this couple previously for a meet and greet over dinner and we all had a great time. They where both very talkative and we seemd to be more than comfortable with eachother. We invited them over for dinner and explained that ther ewouldnt be much in the way of sex as my wife was, shall we say being visited by mother nature. They didnt have an issue with that and thought some light play would be fine if anything. So, after dinner and a few drinks we sat in the front room to talk and whetever. In just a few minutes he had my wife rubbing him through his jeans and I was giving her a back rub and everything seems to be going fine. She had me in her mouth very breifly and wifey was talking good care of him. Well, after he popped, I continued to rub her back, legs, ass and her and wifey kissed and everything was good. After a few more minutes ot that, she sat straight up, said "I'm done". She went to the bathroom to get dressed. I asked her husband what was going on, all he said was "your just too nice". When she came out of the bathroom, they left. Keep in mind that she was pretty drunk.

Please keep in mind that we are not a pushy couple. I feel that if she isnt enjoying it, is not comfortable or what have you there really is no point in it.

So my questions are this,

Is it normal for the women to just kind of play like they are having a good time so thier husbands can get off?

Is it possible that the last couple just dont talk to eachother too much?

Or did I just flat do something wrong? should I be less of a "nice guy" (not going to happen but...)?

We are just looking for advice, what to look for to avoid these kind of people etc. Sorry it was so long and thnks for reading.

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"Gut feelings" are priceless! Always right on target!!!

New Orleans LA
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You'll learn to trust that "gut feeling". I've always been the kind of person to give everyone a chance and sometimes even a second chance... not in this Lifestyle. I learned real fast to trust that intuition... even through email.

Visalia CA
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Thanks for the help guys. We have met a couple more couples since and they have been great. ONe of the couples we have had fun with, other than dinners, movies and hanging out. The other is still a work in progress but it has been really fun to get to know these folks.

Arlington WA
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Been in the lifestyle many years. Sex on the first meeting is often a let down for someone. We have found that if you start off slow, get to know the other couple and then decide if you want to go farther. Yes you invest a lot more time but you can make some great friends. Often they have friends too, that's when the time investment pays off and the sex gets a bit crazy.

Marshall TX
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Who' Frank the GBE? What is a GBE and how do I get in touch with him?

Arlington WA
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The first gal we just talked to the husband and then her in person when we met. The second gal, I spoke with the husband to plan our meeting place for dinner. At dinner we all talked and she had as much input as her husband did. When we parted ways after dinner she gave me a kiss and told me that we where going to have a very good time. I took that as a good sign. Maybe I was wrong and she is just playing into her husbands hand?

Arlington WA
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When you meet, do you communicate with these women in writing or do you actually speak with them?

Allenhurst NJ
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TotalBabe, thanks for taking the time to put your thoughts down and for the advice. I have been going over the situations in my head from start to finish. A few things you mentionsed did ring a few bells for me. We are very new to this and some of the BS guys out there I have been able to pin down and stay away from. Unfortanatly, I dont know all the tell tail signs yet, but I am learning. I have been scanning the forums for any info and advice I can find on being new. However, I dont have a ton of time to sit down and scan past all the jokes and what not to get to the meat (not that there is anything wrong with having a few laughs in the forums). I will continue to keep an eye out for the signs and new ones as well. Again, that you for taking the time.

BTW, my wife asked me to tell you that you username is VERY fitting.

Arlington WA
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(5 posts)
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So my wife and I are very new to this and have meet some really great people in the last month. We are really enjoying the conversations it has sparked between us and the time we are now spending together.

Please allow me to explin the experiances we have had up to this point, then get to my question.

Our first experiance was month or so ago and we met a really nice couple that hae been in the lifestyle for a number of years. They invited us over to kind of give us a "walk through" of what to expect and what to look out for. After arriving at thier place and introducing ourselves, they gave us the 2 cent tour of thier house. With in 5 minutes of us being there the man stated that he was getting on the hot tub and we all followed suit. We chatted and had a few laughs and we where commfortable with the situation. he was very intrested in my wife and she was enjoying the attention. After a little pay between him and my wife he suggested that we go to the bed room and continue. Up to this point, his wife didnt much look at me or my wifey. her husband told me to just start rubbing on her and lightly kissing her and that she would come around, that never happend. She literly laid there the hole time and didnt move hardly at all. Mean while he was having all the fun he could with my wife until they had both finished. At that point I just gave up and we went home. The odd thing is before and after the fun, she was very talkative and seemed to be having a good time. Durring the fun, she was a corpse.

Our second encounter was last Friday night. We had meet this couple previously for a meet and greet over dinner and we all had a great time. They where both very talkative and we seemd to be more than comfortable with eachother. We invited them over for dinner and explained that ther ewouldnt be much in the way of sex as my wife was, shall we say being visited by mother nature. They didnt have an issue with that and thought some light play would be fine if anything. So, after dinner and a few drinks we sat in the front room to talk and whetever. In just a few minutes he had my wife rubbing him through his jeans and I was giving her a back rub and everything seems to be going fine. She had me in her mouth very breifly and wifey was talking good care of him. Well, after he popped, I continued to rub her back, legs, ass and her and wifey kissed and everything was good. After a few more minutes ot that, she sat straight up, said "I'm done". She went to the bathroom to get dressed. I asked her husband what was going on, all he said was "your just too nice". When she came out of the bathroom, they left. Keep in mind that she was pretty drunk.

Please keep in mind that we are not a pushy couple. I feel that if she isnt enjoying it, is not comfortable or what have you there really is no point in it.

So my questions are this,

Is it normal for the women to just kind of play like they are having a good time so thier husbands can get off?

Is it possible that the last couple just dont talk to eachother too much?

Or did I just flat do something wrong? should I be less of a "nice guy" (not going to happen but...)?

We are just looking for advice, what to look for to avoid these kind of people etc. Sorry it was so long and thnks for reading.

Arlington WA
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(5 posts)
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TOPIC: A not so random question