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TOPIC: Submit_the_best_lines_from_your_favorite_emails_on_sls
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"We can't see your pictures"

- from a couple who are free members

BT

New Orleans LA
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(11441 posts)
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first message from a single male with a very scant profile; might otherwise be interesting.

(this is the sum total of his communication):

"Got a minute?"

hmmmm.

Bridgewater NJ
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(12072 posts)
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Email from a dood who lists his profile as single, and, yes, we realize we are total asshats.

single mature man would love to orally pleasure you both all night long and eat and lick you two while you fuck and then lick you clean. licking her cum filled pussy and cum covered nipple clean would be delicious and helping her suck his cock also

Dear msman4fun: Thank you for your tempting proposal. Ordinarily, we would leap to accept an offer for an encounter that is so clearly in line with what we seek. Alas, the missus has a rule that she will not fuck a man if the number of her periods in the last year exceeds the number of periods the man uses in writing a whole fucking paragraph. So, we must decline your kind offer. The loss is ours, we are sure.

New Orleans LA
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(245 posts)
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Sometimes with dumbasses, I will even take it much further and get all circumlocutious up in dey greeowl.

I can't stand lack of effort.

Scottsdale AZ
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(334 posts)
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see, my smartypants reply would've been something along the lines of

"whut?"

he didn't reply because your message was too smart. ;-)~

Bridgewater NJ
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The whole entire mail from a single male last week... "Fuck?"

My reply, "Considering that context and inflection often get lost through digital discourse, please more eloquently elaborate your contextual parameters."

No reply from the DumbASS.

Scottsdale AZ
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(334 posts)
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Free Member Single Male with no pics: "Wow...BBC very attractive, can I play?"

Uriah response: "If you are so 'very attractive', why don't you have pics on your profile?"

Mr. Uriah (aka "The Single Male Policeman")

Memphis TN
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Exactly, no boner

Mrs. U

Memphis TN
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(5179 posts)
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Limp dick=no bueno

Mcallen TX
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(11772 posts)
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Single male sends 2 successive emails to Mrs. U's SF/Gang Bang profile consisting of long, elaborate, detailed explanations of his unique orgasmic skills, and asking whether she thinks she could handle him.

A SF friend of ours who gave him a chance found a fat guy with a limp dick, but plenty of toys.

So, Mr. U sent him an invitation to the Mid-South Gang Bang Club, requesting that he attend Saturday's function and demonstrate the stellar skills that he described in his emails to Mrs. U's SF/Gang Bang profile. No response as of yet.

Uriah

Memphis TN
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(5179 posts)
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TOPIC: Submit the best lines from your favorite emails on sls
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