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TOPIC: Submit_the_best_lines_from_your_favorite_emails_on_sls
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Ah, I see, said the blind man. It's been a LONG time since I've seen Roxanne. Always loved the bar scene....

"Hey BIGNOSE?????"

Waxahachie TX
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In the movie Roxanne (a remake of the French classic Cyrano de Bergerac), Steve Martin plays a nice intelligent man with a ridiculous gigantic nose. He loves Roxanne (Daryl Hannah) but is too self-conscious to tell her. Instead he coaches a young, attractive, but fucking stupid man who Roxanne likes.

On their date, he feeds him witty and romantic things to say.... until the connection fails. So the guy is left on his own and this is the best he can come up with:

You have.....a great body.

Your knockers, I mean your breasts, are like melons...

Not melons, like pillows. Can I fluff your pillows?

Windermere FL
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"Fluff your pillows" hmmmmm?

Do I DARE look that up on Urban Dictionary, or am I gonna need a vat of brain bleach? ;)

Waxahachie TX
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"the guy i sent VA's suggested response to sent back: LOL! Love your sense of humor! "

This can be like Steve Martin in Roxanne. If you go on a date with him I can give you witty suggestions via an earpiece.

Just don't ask him to fluff your pillows.

Windermere FL
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"I have zero memory of checking out this guy's profile"

That's because most "who viewed me" hits are random profiles, not people who actually viewed you. You didn't view them. You just happened to show up on their profile.

You can look at the "last online" date of people who viewed you a couple of days ago and still find they haven't been online in months. It's bullshit.

Windermere FL
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don't you just love when folks get all pissed and nasty like that?

here's some fun. the guy i sent VA's suggested response to sent back: LOL! Love your sense of humor!

and introduced himself.

still a really short message but shows he's got a sense of humor and doesn't take himself too seriously.

which i told him earns him a second shot--and said "what are you gonna do with it?"

we shall see.

Bridgewater NJ
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I replied to the dood telling him I had no memory of checking out his profile and that it was a good thing he didn't manage to attach a dick pic because that would have been tacky. (he's only been on the site for 2 months). He sent this reply.

"Really...this is a sex site & you have the nerve to call me tacky! This ain't some romantic shit..& I wasn't going to reply to your rude ass but the more I thought about it...FUCK YOU...maybe you should get your ass off this site & go to a dating site...if you don't want to see a dick or whatever someone decides to send...."

I was going to reply but sadly we have no dick pic available to attach to the return message....yet.

~rabbit~

New Orleans LA
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We got our first email originating from the "who Viewed me" feature. Funny thing is, I have zero memory of checking out this guy's profile.

"Hi...just thought I say! Hi...Xxxxxx you guys checked out my profile thanks!...I do wish I was a lot closer so we could have some hot & erotic fun together...well check your personal Icon for my cock pic...lol...I hope you guys like what you see!!"

I think he intended to attach a dick pic to the email BUT he didn't, it was just his face. Bummer. I would have had such fun telling him off for attaching a dick pic to the first email.

~rabbit~

New Orleans LA
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perfect!

you should TM that.

Bridgewater NJ
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I told you :)

You should tell him "No, I'm on here looking for unsecured loans and ductwork cleaning of my house."

Windermere FL
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TOPIC: Submit the best lines from your favorite emails on sls
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