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TOPIC: Submit the best lines from your favorite emails on sls
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An IM from last night. Profile is a couple local to my area. After a quick exchange about our tag line. "Mr. In town on business want to come to my hotel room tonight?" I explained my wife went to bed earlier and I did not think he wanted me to show up.

Edgewood FL
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@NJNY, great advise as always. Lafrack, here is my dumbass message for the day;

Subject line - Blank

Message - Pics open, enough said.

I opened his pic's, honestly is the biggest cock I have ever seen but also a turn-off. That thing would cut me in two.

My reply to him - Yuck

It has always amazed my how guys are so damn insecure about their dicks. Of course us ladies do not help when they hear us talk about penice dicks but anything larger than 7 1/2 inches, 8 inches max will hurt me unless the man is extremely careful. I would take a guy with a 5 inch dick who knows how to use it over a monster dick on a guy who does not have a clue any day. After all I am looking for amazing Orgasms.

Bethany Beach DE
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LaFrack,

after a bit, you realize the folks who are clearly *not* a match (and send such crude and/or clueless messages) also clearly do NOT read profiles (or if they do, then they totally ignore everything but the pictures). and you will set up an "easy reply" button with a suitable message. btw Oh hell to the no is a good one.

let it roll off you sweetie and move on.

Manville NJ
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My profile makes it very clear that I am looking for a non smoker.

I get a message with a greeting; >> Hey You. <<

His messages; >> I want to meet you, fuck you, will take a mint before sex and will only smoke after having sex If you are interested Please let me know? <<

My reply; >> Oh Hell To The No. <<

Damn, what is with some of these guys. Yes this is a sex site, but show some respect. I may be the odd one out here but I do like to be romanced even though I'm looking for a FWB, I want that FWB to be a true friend. Sorry to vent but today I got home to 17 emails. One is from a female for which we have shared the same guy and I consider a SLS friend only. Out of the other sixteen messages from guys (two were couples) eleven messages were garbage messages. The rest got a nice reply back. I am floored that most guys expect us ladies to jump at a snap of their fingers.

Marydel DE
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love the name, mr/mrs jiggly.

today's gem (*rolling eyes*)

from a 20 something SM. "can you...face sit??? dominate???? spank???"

(it went on a sentence longer similarly embellished with excessive punctuation.)

ehm...my guess is you did NOT read my profile. not interested.

Manville NJ
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We got a very similar e-mail today. Our favorites are the SM that just send the same thing over and over every 6 months.

Cary NC
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Young SM visiting my area wrote, in part:

"I especially love being with a couple because it indicates a woman who is sexually empowered." (what only married women are sexually empowered?)

Ah, did I get coupled over the weekend and no one told me ?

My response, "you may have seen my profile, clearly did NOT read it"

Kernersville NC
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new SM in my area, great pics (even if they were selfies) and decent profile.

"hi, my name is ____. i'm here in ____."

then about an hour later

"HI. I'd like to join you at that house party?"

(dude! *what* house party?)

anyway i replied back this morning saying i don't usually attend house parties and thanks for the note, welcome to the site, etc.

will see what happens next.

Manville NJ
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Nice, although too bad we still can't actually see you at all...

Windermere FL
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Thank you NJ and VA! I did not want to mention the subject line as it may have outed the couple. I do think it was meant as a compliment as they were a bit too far out of our age range.

VA: ditto, all day long. I'll open up the other two pics for you if I haven't yet.

Edgewood FL
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(47 posts)
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TOPIC: Submit the best lines from your favorite emails on sls