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TOPIC: Submit the best lines from your favorite emails on sls
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:"cum on baby lets me pleasure u"

Mrs. U

Knob Lick MO
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(4523 posts)
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Ewwwwwww

Mcallen TX
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(11102 posts)
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From a married Bi male. His profile states his wife knows he needs more and he has been with TV and CD. He states you must be DDF and have great hygiene oh but he only plays bareback. Really want to yell at this one but think I will Blick and go on my way.

Columbus OH
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(1071 posts)
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" U caught our interest....please open your pics"

This from a paid couple profile, however the profile has been on since 2011, not 1 cert & one line in each section of the profile. Obviously didn't read our profile for the rules of engagement. Likely a single or married guy trying to perv pics who's wife doesn't know or doesn't want to be in the lifestyle.

Princeton NJ
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(1296 posts)
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Today's gem is the inquiry from the male half of a couple...no pics of him on the profile, but plenty of her...he is driving through town tonight and wanted to know if I wanted him to take care of the Mrs.

Mrs. U beat me to the response with a polite "No", thwarting my opportunity to provide a much more caustic communication.

Mr. U. (the "Drill Sergeant for Single Male Minds of Mush")

Knob Lick MO
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(4523 posts)
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today's gem from a SM who joined 4 days ago, about 5 lines of text in his profile, one pic, and not really much indication about what he brings to a potential encounter other than want:

subject: hey cutie

text: how are you?

*rolling eyes*--delete.

Manville NJ
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(7046 posts)
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I'm relieved that most of the single males we know don't have my personal phone number. Though I'm not sure if the winner from today was looking for playmates or somebody to adopt him for the whole weekend.

Thanks Baby for taking good care of me.....I'll be naked and waiting for you later!

XOXO Shelly {Mrs. U}

Knob Lick MO
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(4523 posts)
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Young SM (23ish) with a hot bod whom had passed Mr. U's previous interview sends him a text at 1:00 PM on Friday to inform he was available for the weekend. The Uriahs were planning a sex weekend and wished to invite him to participate.

Young SM's text response to Mr.U's inquiry as to what times over the weekend he was available:

"I'm available right now".

Block and Mental Note: TSTF ("Too Stupid to Fuck")

Knob Lick MO
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(4523 posts)
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The Uriahs enjoy interviewing individuals who make application to fuck the other--he interviews men who want to fuck her and she interviews women who want to fuck him. This is clearly explained on the profile.

Response last year from a SM applicant to Mr. U's request to meet at my favorite sports bar for a beer to chat:

"I'm not bi".

Knob Lick MO
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(4523 posts)
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No FQ. No airport, or Jackson.

The ride was strictly up and down. Ok, maybe a little sideways too, but only as needed for plot development...and navigation.

BT

"Mark Twain!!!"

New Orleans LA
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(10250 posts)
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TOPIC: Submit the best lines from your favorite emails on sls