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TOPIC: Submit the best lines from your favorite emails on sls
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We get very few emails. Most of them are one liners from single men looking to hook up. It clearly states in our profile that this is a marathon, not a sprint to the finish line, not last minuet hookup. She wants to be impressed, flirted with, and made to feel special. Not a single IM or emial has anyone ever tried to meet for coffee or drinks. Plus we get a great deal of dick pics. Our profile says no dick pics. It is clear that the men are not reading our profile. :(

Rolla MO
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(6 posts)
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We're new here, (female half writing) but had to chime in! We split our e-mail duties about 50/50 and enjoy texting each other during the day regarding messages we receive when we aren't together....good and bad.

We had a busy inbox this weekend, including 5 variations of "hi there." My two favorites for this thread, though: "nice legs, like to have them wrapped around me! have my head between then licking you dry!". That was the entire content, too. Nice first impression....ugh. And: "Wanna get together and fuck? We will give u our #" Ooh....ooh....sure! Let me send you those digits right away! Wait, who are you? Hahaha. Block. -N

Blue Ash OH
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Re: IM

I keep the IM off because, as stupid as so many emails are, IMs are generally stupider still. Once in a while I turn it on by accident and in come the stupid messages "big black snake 4 u", "I'm horny", "are u looking for play right now?"

Windermere FL
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Received an e-mail from a single male (We block SM's but once in a while they slip through somehow)

"Good Morning, nice pics"

DELETE unanswered.

Villas NJ
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An IM from last night. Profile is a couple local to my area. After a quick exchange about our tag line. "Mr. In town on business want to come to my hotel room tonight?" I explained my wife went to bed earlier and I did not think he wanted me to show up.

Edgewood FL
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@NJNY, great advise as always. Lafrack, here is my dumbass message for the day;

Subject line - Blank

Message - Pics open, enough said.

I opened his pic's, honestly is the biggest cock I have ever seen but also a turn-off. That thing would cut me in two.

My reply to him - Yuck

It has always amazed my how guys are so damn insecure about their dicks. Of course us ladies do not help when they hear us talk about penice dicks but anything larger than 7 1/2 inches, 8 inches max will hurt me unless the man is extremely careful. I would take a guy with a 5 inch dick who knows how to use it over a monster dick on a guy who does not have a clue any day. After all I am looking for amazing Orgasms.

Bethany Beach DE
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LaFrack,

after a bit, you realize the folks who are clearly *not* a match (and send such crude and/or clueless messages) also clearly do NOT read profiles (or if they do, then they totally ignore everything but the pictures). and you will set up an "easy reply" button with a suitable message. btw Oh hell to the no is a good one.

let it roll off you sweetie and move on.

Manville NJ
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My profile makes it very clear that I am looking for a non smoker.

I get a message with a greeting; >> Hey You. <<

His messages; >> I want to meet you, fuck you, will take a mint before sex and will only smoke after having sex If you are interested Please let me know? <<

My reply; >> Oh Hell To The No. <<

Damn, what is with some of these guys. Yes this is a sex site, but show some respect. I may be the odd one out here but I do like to be romanced even though I'm looking for a FWB, I want that FWB to be a true friend. Sorry to vent but today I got home to 17 emails. One is from a female for which we have shared the same guy and I consider a SLS friend only. Out of the other sixteen messages from guys (two were couples) eleven messages were garbage messages. The rest got a nice reply back. I am floored that most guys expect us ladies to jump at a snap of their fingers.

Marydel DE
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love the name, mr/mrs jiggly.

today's gem (*rolling eyes*)

from a 20 something SM. "can you...face sit??? dominate???? spank???"

(it went on a sentence longer similarly embellished with excessive punctuation.)

ehm...my guess is you did NOT read my profile. not interested.

Manville NJ
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We got a very similar e-mail today. Our favorites are the SM that just send the same thing over and over every 6 months.

Cary NC
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(29 posts)
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TOPIC: Submit the best lines from your favorite emails on sls