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TOPIC: What_up_with_all_the_overweight_men
Created by: sunburned
Original Starting post for this thread:
OK maybe it is just me and this is a bit of a vent, what's up with all the over weight men? You know the ones, they're paired with the most amazingly attractive and fit women...And of course when it comes to the idea of swapping, well as the female side of the equation here, it feels unfair. It is unattractive and a bit of a turn off too. I am not against a few extra pounds, really am not! We all struggle with weight myself included, but I work at staying HWP at the gym (guys take note please-hint hint)...Guys when your size produces huges shadows that intimidate me to the point I feel the need to run for cover and safety, while your gorgeous wife is fit and pretty and wanting to play with my husband whom all seem clueless to your huge self, well somehow it feels like a turn off. And I admit I tried but I am not turned on by XXL men.

And sure these men are all wonderfully nice, etc...but sexually it's a turn off to me. And worse part is I don't know how to say this as i don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. But we just returned from a week at a FL. l/s resort and this seemed to be the norm and honestly was surprised! Seems disproportionate that my husband gets another fit and beautiful women to play with while i am suppose to be turned onby Mr. XXL? A smothering thought...lol...

So guys please hit the gym some, I am not asking for a body builder just HWP or hey if you carry a few extra pounds it's ok! Truly it is! But obesity is a turn off and there is a difference between a few pounds and carrying around an entire extra person.

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Here in Vegas there is a lot of soft women that are 20 to 30lbs overweight and they seem to think that is HWP. Men seem to stay more fit, but not many athletic men here, that are married or have a partner in the lifestyle. However at the parties the few single men they let in are very fit and athletic. There are some couples in which the man is a top executive or lawyer or with a fit attractive wife. Mrs is very attractive to that kind of man even if he is 30 lbs overweight. It works.. Mrs has now gotten down to 117 lbs so that she turns the heads of every man when we go to a party..she really loves the way men are reacting to her, she has her pick of men...and we dont play by the rules that seem to be written by the porn industry..Mrs is not bi in any way....and she has a nice trimmed but not shaved pussy. That really turns men on..

Las Vegas NV
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Actually, let me clarify a little...

I see a lot of women who are 50%+ overweight (i.e. 200 lb when their ideal is about 135).

I don't see very many men who are 50%+ overweight (i.e. 270 lb when their ideal is about 190).

Perhaps there are more fit women than men, but I think there are more "up there" bigger women than men. i.e. the distribution for women seems to be broader.

Windermere FL
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Experiences definitely differ, no doubt. I am certainly not telling you that you're wrong, it's just not what we've experienced, exactly.

Oh - and welcome to the fora!

Windermere FL
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welcome to the forums, frisky.

subject has been debated quite a bit. there are definitely a lot of overweight women (who work hard to look as attractive as possible) in the lifestyle. and there are also quite a lot of overweight men (with a lot putting their best foot forward as well).

i think the one thing we can all agree on is the lack of pics of the male of the couple (selling the hot sexy wife/lady) being *the* biggest reason couples get turned down *after* communication begins. it's definitely a bait and switch. second biggest reason (and hotly debated topic) is inaccurate pics taken years or pounds ago, and "in person" either one or both just isn't anywhere near as attractive.

just gotta chalk it up to experience and move on to the next.

again welcome!

Bridgewater NJ
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"We see a mix of both. I completely disagree with the assessment that women are expected to remain perfect while men can be allowed to be slobs. In my experience men are more accepting of imperfect women than the reverse.

In other words, overweight women do not face the same struggles overweight men do. In my experience, anyway."

Well I cant say that doesn't happen, I defer to your greater experience as we've just been in the LS for a year.

I can only speak to our experience which has been lots of hot women, very few put together dudes. Perhaps it's simply a matter of geography and sociology-economics. Central California is the new Appalachia, with the vast majority being low to lower middle class, people without the time to work on their fitness in addition to their work and family. Overweight men are most certainly the norm out and about in public, stands to reason that would be reflected in the lifestyle here.

Fresno CA
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We see a mix of both.

I completely disagree with the assessment that women are expected to remain perfect while men can be allowed to be slobs. In my experience men are more accepting of imperfect women than the reverse.

In other words, overweight women do not face the same struggles overweight men do. In my experience, anyway.

The issue of pics of women only has been brought up many times and in this respect, we are pretty much all in agreement.

Windermere FL
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Welcome to the forums FF.

Nice first post. It does make it hard and some couples can't grasp they got turned away. While I can agree that some men have given up, I also find it to be true in a lot of the cases of the counterpart when The Mrs finds the male attractive. There are posts in the forums on that as well, yet heavily defended.

~Allen

Charles Town WV
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Obviously given the length of this thread and amount of posts I haven't taken the time to read them all, but in response to the OP... In my experience (the Mr.) swinging while supposedly open and forward thinking is still highly misogynistic. We all tacitly agree that the women are in charge but really to what extent? Females are expected to be bi (I'm sure we're not the only ones who have seen women listing as bi/bi-curious if only to appease the dominant ideal here that all women love other women), expected to be in great shape, and unicorns are hunted like game animals. On the other side men are expected to be straight as an arrow, and can be 'hwp' rather than the perfect physical specimen expected from women. Frankly it's a bit disconcerting. For us it got bad enough that we actually had to put the expectation in our profile that men's shoulders be broader than their waists. So many couples, as the OP said, have beautiful women and guys who have just given up. That said yes, I'm not in the best shape of my life, but I do alright. As is everything I am a work in progress. But I at least post my pictures here because I refuse to be one of the many men that leans on their hot wife expecting to get laid. Are there other men in better shape? Without a doubt! But I am what I am. Also my brothers, by only posting pictures of your wife online you're basically pulling a bait-n-switch on the female of the couple you are contacting. I truly wish that the men here were required to post at least one pic. Many a time we've started talking to a couple only to finally receive a pic of the other man that is totally outside of what my lovely wife finds attractive. It's very discouraging, and ultimately we feel awful having to terminate these conversations, all because most of the profiles here only feature the female.

Fresno CA
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One of the reason we are moving to Las Vegas is because all the men in California are fat...Mrs never takes one for the team.....sooooo since we both love to play Vegas it is.

Las Vegas NV
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"As long as she keeps hitting the gym, I'm okay with him being relaxed and soft about his physique." . Lolol

Tramp

Alpharetta GA
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TOPIC: What up with all the overweight men
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