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What up with all the overweight men : Swingers Discussion 161294
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TOPIC: What up with all the overweight men
Created by: sunburned
Original Starting post for this thread:
OK maybe it is just me and this is a bit of a vent, what's up with all the over weight men? You know the ones, they're paired with the most amazingly attractive and fit women...And of course when it comes to the idea of swapping, well as the female side of the equation here, it feels unfair. It is unattractive and a bit of a turn off too. I am not against a few extra pounds, really am not! We all struggle with weight myself included, but I work at staying HWP at the gym (guys take note please-hint hint)...Guys when your size produces huges shadows that intimidate me to the point I feel the need to run for cover and safety, while your gorgeous wife is fit and pretty and wanting to play with my husband whom all seem clueless to your huge self, well somehow it feels like a turn off. And I admit I tried but I am not turned on by XXL men.

And sure these men are all wonderfully nice, etc...but sexually it's a turn off to me. And worse part is I don't know how to say this as i don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. But we just returned from a week at a FL. l/s resort and this seemed to be the norm and honestly was surprised! Seems disproportionate that my husband gets another fit and beautiful women to play with while i am suppose to be turned onby Mr. XXL? A smothering thought...lol...

So guys please hit the gym some, I am not asking for a body builder just HWP or hey if you carry a few extra pounds it's ok! Truly it is! But obesity is a turn off and there is a difference between a few pounds and carrying around an entire extra person.

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SexusnTexas: never say only! 18 pounds is huge and as stated it's part of a journey. Always reminds me when I drag my friends out running a 5K or MudRun and they apologize for being so slow. I remind them that they are out there putting one foot in front of the other while most others are asleep in bed and not doing anything. Celebrate each success and learn from each failure. Overall you're headed in positive direction so my hats off to you and everyone else trying. I return you to your regular SLS programming!


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Anyone can email me w questions and I'll do my best to answer. You have the right idea, its all about the journey. Keep going the right direction and focus on your goal. No one has the straight up willpower to loose a lot of weight., thats a terrible myth. You have to want it every day and find another reward system besides food. Being overweight takes so much from you and it is hard to appreciate wo living it.

Lexington KY
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Anyone can email me w questions and I'll do my best to answer. You have the right idea, its all about the journey. Keep going the right direction and focus on your goal. No one has the straight up willpower to loose a lot of weight., thats a terrible myth. You have to want it every day and find another reward system besides food. Being overweight takes so much from you and it is hard to appreciate wo living it.

Lexington KY
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I imagine swinging itself isn't too politically correct, so no matter.

TooMuch, you can help me anytime. I totally trust and respect the ones who have been there and know what it's like. I've only lost about 18 pounds since September, BUT I ALREADY notice less stress on my knees, feet, ability to do more, etc. A1C is better and I could drop a med. So yes, despite the aesthetics of losing weight, the better feeling is worth it.

So yes, I will come in here from time to time when I feel like giving up or that it doesn't matter, or just when I hit a slow spot, etc, and read some of your success stories and how much better you feel, and keep working at it.

It's NOT so that I can attract more people sexually. I already have the best sex with my husband. And we are doing this together. We have no problems in the area of swinging, and attract a wide variety (no pun intended) of others. The ones who are so defensive about it all are not attractive, no matter how they look at either end of the spectrum, complaining and excuses and whining are never attractive.

Either lose or don't. Either take care of yourself or don't. I have my stupid moments of rebellion where I eat wrong and "just don't care" (I actually do care, all the time, I'm just fooling myself when I have that attitude) but I now have many more days of making better choices. For me, it's a slow go, but it's still progressing, I'm still doing more and eating less, and kick it up a few notches along the way.

Right now, I'm discouraged. So reading these posts are helpful. It means I can keep trying. (I'm discouraged b/c I fell and hurt my arm a couple months ago and can't do what I was doing, but going to PT and taking care of the injury). For me, it's also changing a whole lifetime of bad (unhealthy) choices for myself.

So, anytime I read where people are bitching about "fit" people not wanting to have sex with fat people, it's just something I find unattractive. There are attractive people of all shapes and sizes, and it's not a "war" between the two. My point is that if you don't like being made fun of because you are heavy, then don't retaliate by making fun of people who are thin. Is petty and unappealing. And it's usually b/c you don't like yourself, no matter how much you tell yourself otherwise.

Gina

San Antonio TX
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Is this a complaint about someone not using a politically correct sentence in describing his/her preference or is this a broader complaint about fit couples refusing to hook up with everyone else who isn't fit?

I'm confused.

For example: Politically correct: we will only have sex with people we consider attractive Gray area: we will only have sex with people who are fit like us Not politically correct: we will not have sex with fat people

Schaumburg IL
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It sucks being fat. I got hurt (hip and shoulder) and put on 100lbs that I had to lose so I've been there. Anyone overweight saying they are okay with it is just deluding themselves or talking smack. I will never be that way again and I don't even want to see it in a sexual context.

When I see someone that is fat I honestly feel sorry for them and I have helped several people (for free) get on track and lose weight. I've also tried to help people and watched them fail. I will answer questions when I can as weight loss is talked about so much and commercialized it is HARD to sort truth from BS.

If you think I don't have an idea what fat is like read this: It sucks to have to plan to bend over and pick something up. It sucks that people look at you weird in stores. It sucks that your pants fall down. It sucks when your feet hurt all the damn time. It sucks when you can't walk up a flight of stairs without sweating through your clothes. It sucks that NOTHING fits right. It sucks when your ass won't fit in a roller coaster seat.

Stuff you can look forward too as a fatty: (notice i'm not being politically correct sorry, nothing you haven't told yourself) Diabetes, plantar facitis (sp), heart disease, liver disease, prostate problems (guys), general ill health and a plethora of other conditions.

You guys that come in here and say how okay you are being fat keep in mind at least one guy here knows the truth. You have just given up.

Lexington KY
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I certainly mean no disrespect and understand for some people it's a matter of genetics or health issue and that is fully understood. I have friends who are heavy and are working day in and day out to maintain a level of fitness. To me it's not washboard and or 3% body fat that is attractive but someone who is putting in time to realize whatever benefit they can. I know people who look fit and are couch potatoes and I know those who some would say are fat and they can run laps around a me in some aspects of fitness.

Having said that, Ms. SexUsinTexas really raises a valid point.


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If you go over to the BBW threads, you will find people saying "I can't understand why/how anyone could be attracted to a stick," which is just as revolting and rude. Any name calling, in fact, is a turn off. But since this is a fitness forum thread, I don't understand why someone would come in complaining about what is said here in reference to being overweight. These threads are what they say they are: for people who are fit, and who are interested in improving their fitness/health.

The only reason I ever step in here is to get advice, or sometimes to read and become a bit motivated when I am in a slump. One of the "Fatties," Gina

San Antonio TX
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FYI,,we have plenty of fun with other couples,,and they have no problem with the weight factor, I just resent anyone making comments about how they cannot understand why somebody would be attracted to a fat guy or fat woman, but then claim to be non-judgmental about it. Thats what got me pissed.


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Amen. I think that is true of both sexes. It takes little effort to increase ones physical activity level. Not talking hours in a gym but a walk or using the stairs instead of an escalator. Every little bit helps.


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TOPIC: What up with all the overweight men