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Body says YES YES, But Face says NO NO : Swingers Discussion 73334
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FORUMSGeneral DiscussionsFitnessBody says YES YES, But Face says NO NO
TOPIC: Body says YES YES, But Face says NO NO
Created by: Dancing2Some
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Wow, we agree with most everything said here. It's funny, we all know that a basic physical attraction is important in this lifestyle, and we all know it's a matter of different strokes for different folks.... or I should say that everyone that's posted here knows that, as we all have some kind of pics posted in our profiles. Sadly, it's the ones that post no pics at all, or really old pics, wether it's based on a lack of confidence or a desire to deceive others, that need the most help. Funny thing was that if that guy in our original post had possessed a charming personality,there may have been a chance. While in many cases the physical looks may be a deal killer as far as playing goes, assuming basic attraction exists, it's usually the personalities that get the deciding vote. I won't even get on the topic of one couple we met, where he was a bit of a photography buff. Well when we met them for the second time, the conversation seemed to suggest he had a certain fondness for photographing teenage girls, that just left us with a bad feeling. We dropped that meeting like a hot potato. If we had had teen girls at home, we'd have been rushing home to lock them in their rooms. ~ mick

Reno NV
 
 
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We've heard the butterface disease, but what about "ed zachary" disease...

That is where their faces look "ed zachary" like their ass

Benson NC
 
 
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Well, when a couple does not open their pics it honestly makes me question. Number one, it tells me that there may be a confidence issue. Confidence turns me on, so thats always an issue. People just don't realize how much confidence carries people. Shelly

San Marcos TX
 
 
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I agree Tedtros. There's allot to be said for "beauty on the inside" but I might be so shallow as not to want to spend the time finding out. (sorry, but it's true, so shoot me)

Don't you just love those emails from couples w/ no pictures offering their yahoo ID and exchange photos there? What's the point anyway... you can download pictures here just fine and skip all that by sending one with your initial contact email.

PJ

Tulsa OK
 
 
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This is what we considered to be a good etiquette here on the site.

If you contact someone, have at least a face and body shot of both of you. Don't need to open all your pics or send anything more than a G rated pic, but just show what you look like (you made the first move so you need to make the first show). This is what we do when we first contact someone. We send our public pic without the green. And wait for a response. If they are not interested, then a simple no thank you is all we ask for. No pics need to come back.

Now If you are interested, then the same should be sent back. That is a face and body pic of both. All G rated is fine. If the attraction is now on both sides, the first contactor should open up their pics. If the attraction isn't still there, then a simple no thank you can be replied, and all pics closed again.

If the attraction is there, then the contactee can open their pics. If things are still ok then continue. Else, a no thank you back out and then close all pics again. Of course there's been times that we've skipped a step or two (opened our pics at first contact). But basically these are the rules we follow.

We've stopped even responding when someone contacts us without any pics. We ask this on our profile, and if they don't send pics that means they didn't bother reading the profile.

At anytime one side can say no thank you, no hard feelings. Really, there are attractive people out their that not all others are attracted to. If that's the case, why bother. This is about sex, and sex is about attraction. If it's not there, then it's not there. We've turned down others that were attractive but just not our type. And others have turned us down for the same reasons. No hard feelings, there's always more fish in the Sea. :-)

Endwell NY
 
 
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I agree...this is why our first response to hello is "got any face pics?" Sorry, but this is about sex. And I need an attraction. Shelly

San Marcos TX
 
 
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Jim and I always refer to them as the "Roger Rabbit" couple. Both for Roger & Jessica, and also for the one "girl" in the movie that's pulled over by the side of the road, with a gorgeous body, and when she turns around she has an "in-bred" type face (apologies ahead of time to those that may be in-bred) and Summer Teeth.

Sumter SC
 
 
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Gina, you're so funny, but dead on in this case. I don't for a second discount the importance of physical attraction in the lifestyle, but by the same token, I find the intellectual component equally important. I, too, am one who will, more often than not, happily drop my pants for a man who can make me laugh;)

LOL! Was this on topic? I can't remember...

Richmond VA
 
 
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I just have to post, because we had a similar conversation last night...we were, yes, watching American Idol, and my fav. male is puffy-haired Chris, who isn't the best looking guy, but he's so damn FUNNY and I love his voice and laugh. I told Dan that yeah, if a man can make me laugh, he has a good chance of getting in my pants (that's always been true for me). Did anyone watch it and see what this guy's wife looked like? She was beautiful, but he was so cool and cute-acting. That proves the addage...it's not all about looks. Now, that said, we are not and have never been all about looks as far as sexual attraction goes. I'd say we are an "average," or "nice looking" couple...we've heard "very sexy," and also "gorgeous," but sigh...I don't know. Anyway, we're not ugly people, but we're not like that ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS HOT DAYUM COUPLE Fit...whew...whoever, from PA...wow.

Okay. Back to what I was saying....what the hell was it? (pant pant, fan fan) Oh yeah:

We don't post our faces on default pics, and my husband only has his pics in our private pics. If we've already met you, say at a club event (members of VAF), then yeah, we'll open our privates for you. If we have a rapport in emails or chats, or even here in the forums, and you can string a sentence, then yeah, we'll open our privates for you too. If you're someone we'd like to meet, and we get a response from you, and it "reads" okay, then yeah, we'll open our privates for you too. We try to keep our pics updated also, and there are only a couple of pics on our profile that were taken summer '06 (when I had blonde highlights). Most are from Jan. '07.

We had the similar thing happen, where the couple did not look like their pictures on sls. She had no head shot. And while she wasn't really ugly, she was much larger than she stated, and even more importantly, their personalities were nothing like they stated. How sad is that? We can accept extra pounds (see my own photo...Dan thinks I'm beautiful...is the man blind???), a plainer face, etc etc., but please "BE" who you say you are. The "looks" don't always mean that we will or won't be sexually attracted to you...usually it's more a personality and mental attraction first anyway, as what, 95% of sex is in the brain?

So, this thing called attraction and beauty...yes, there's someone for everyone, so why didn't that couple be honest and open up front? I meant the ones who didn't have pictures. And yes, I agree that I admire the honesty in saying that there was no spark, so that ended things. I am learning how to do that with couples like the one we met where we won't meet with them again. He was sort of pushy anyway. Okay, enough said. I like these forums and the chance to write my feelings, or to at least try to figure them out as I go along. Thanks. Gina

San Antonio TX
 
 
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It seems to me that if someone is willing to meet you, they've already gotten over the job security issue - tell them you want a pic then. If there's a refusal at that point, the red flag has been raised!

Richmond VA
 
 
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TOPIC: Body says YES YES, But Face says NO NO