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TOPIC: watching hubby with another guy
Created by: luv2chat34
Original Starting post for this thread:
whats everyones thoughts on asking and getting your husband to give or recieve oral from MY g/f's bi hubby? We had a swap date and I asked the guys to play for us ladies... My str8 hubby was nervous but went along with it.... was i wrong to ask him of that?

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We've seen so many couples regret those "heat of the moment" changes in their own rules and expectations. It causes drama, problems, misunderstandings, etc.

That's why communication and reassessment are important between couples. Revisit your "lists" of priorities, preferences, "no no's" and so on, often enough so that you truly know each other.

There is nothing at all wrong with changing your minds. Just be careful when you do that in the middle of things. It rarely works well. It may be "okay..." at the moment, but later on, it rears its ugly head, so to speak.

San Antonio TX
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I agree with Nic:

We have our rules in rigid stone well most of the time, some we flex on. I am not bi nor am I bi curious. And if she would ask me to play with another man for the women it would be me and he going to a bar having beer and hot wings and shooting pool or throwing darts. that would be the extent of the male on male play.

To force someone or even ask them to do something they are uncomfortable with to me is like a violation and you do not respect the other person, their comfort level with things or their personal limits.

Falls City OR
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I agree with you VA, if I have told a play partner I have a hard limit, do NOT ask me to change my mind in the heat of the moment. You will not be happy with my answer which is likely to be, "I'm done here".

Youngstown OH
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Well I'm presuming he's been "straight" forward in his orientation on their profile.

I agree, she knows him best. So if it's something they've talked about, OK. If she just sprung it on him, not OK. Or at least, not OK for us.

Winter Garden FL
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who knows her husband better than her? I would think she must have seen something in him that would make her think he wanted to try. He is a big boy he can say no and don't ask again. we like so many other bi couples are sought out by "Str8" cpls to try for the 1st time or just to keep themselves on the down low. I have never sucked a guy or had one suck me that hated and didn't want to try bi again.

Middleburgh NY
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"was i wrong to ask him of that? "

We have 2 kinds of rules: "Hard" and "soft". Soft rules are fuzzy and flexible and can be altered as needed.

Hard rules are set before we go anywhere. The couple we have left (such as condoms) are set in stone for the night. They may not be brought up for discussion. If we want to reconsider our hard rules or potentially make an exception for someone, we must do so "offline" i.e. not at an event, or a date, or in the middle of something.

Your husband has declared himself straight. By doing so he has expressed a complete lack of interest in guy-guy play, and to ask someone to do something they've told you they didn't want to do in the heat of the moment is, in my opinion, uncool. By asking him on-the-fly with a room full of naked people, you put pressure on him to do something he told you he didn't want to do.

If my wife were to come up with something like that I'd be mad. If she wants to ask me something like that, she'd better do it at home.

Winter Garden FL
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No worries, your wife's breasts, I mean you are welcome to interrupt any time.

;^D

Youngstown OH
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Thank you and sorry for my part as well, my original message was easily misunderstood.

Thanks and sorry for the interruption, Steve

Wexford PA
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Sorry for the misunderstanding Steve. It seemed like a "drive-by" post designed to stir the pot. Unfortunately there are many here who post and delete just to cause trouble but I know that you are not like that and apologize if I took it the wrong way.

~A

Youngstown OH
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Love the pic, you should come around more often.

Toledo OH
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TOPIC: watching hubby with another guy